Enneagram and Marriage13 Nov 2025

FREE Subscriber Series: Family Systems: The Pursuer-Distancer Dance & Your Enneagram Type

Ever feel like the more you try to connect with your spouse, the more they pull away? Or maybe you're the one who needs space while your partner wants to talk everything through? This is the pursuer-distancer dance, and it's one of the most common patterns in marriage. In this episode, we'll explore how your Enneagram type influences which role you naturally fall into. Heart types (2, 3, 4) often become pursuers, seeking connection and reassurance. Head types (5, 6, 7) frequently take the distancer role, needing space to process. Body types (8, 9, 1) can go either way depending on their specific type and stress level. But here's the key: when you understand YOUR type's fear and your PARTNER's type's fear, you can break this exhausting cycle. We'll give you one simple practice to try this week that interrupts the pattern—and it starts with doing the opposite of what feels natural. Whether you're a Type 2 who pursues when anxious or a Type 5 who distances when overwhelmed, you'll learn how to create connection without the chase. Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Leave Christa a podcast question anonymously by sending an MP4 recording to enneagramandmarriage@gmail.com. Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Where Our Deeper Needs Really Belong with Coach Linda Hannigan, 3

This week Christa welcomes Linda Hannigan, 3 (3-1 pairing), an Enneagram and Marriage certified coach, gifted orator, and truth teller whose candor and artistry make her a joy to learn from. Together ...

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29 Juli 18min

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We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has ...

27 Juli 19min

How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers...

22 Juli 37min

When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and s...

22 Juli 19min

The Art of (Married) Seduction w/Dr. Anna Elton, PhD

Seduction inside a long marriage sounds like a contradiction, and Dr. Anna Elton is here to tell us it is anything but. In this rich conversation, Christa welcomes Dr. Elton to unpack her framework fo...

20 Juli 40min

Beloved and Imperfect: Meredith Hite Estevez, Loving One Another As Works of God's Art

As a special invitation in the middle of our summer exploring desire and intimacy in marriage, Christa pauses to learn from and to share an experience with a soulful friend, welcoming Meredith Hite E...

17 Juli 44min