S2E2: “Jealous? Me? Never. (Okay Maybe a Little.)”
The messy truth about jealousy—even in the most secure relationships

Dateable AF Season 2 Episode 2

The Dateable AF podcast is hosted by Dr. Sarah Kyle and Rachel Howell.

Producer: Jordan Cannon

Theme Song: Cade Kyle

Cover Photo: Mackenzie Mowat

Dateable AF is a podcast about all things lesbian dating—or queer dating—or women-who-date-women dating. Whatever letter you vibe with, if you're a woman who dates women, this one's for you.

Hosted by two longtime friends, this show dives into the wild, wonderful, and often WTF world of dating women—with honesty, humor, and zero shame. Expect smart takes, relatable stories, and the occasional U-Haul reference.

Jealous? Me? Never. The messy truth about jealousy (and envy) in even secure relationships.

• Jealousy vs. Envy: Jealousy = fear of losing what you have; Envy = wanting what someone else has (benign, emulative, or malicious).
• Not always a red flag: Think “check-engine light,” not automatic doom. Love + jealousy can coexist—handle with care.
• Flavors of jealousy:
  • Romantic/Sexual (flirting/sexual interest),
  • Emotional (sharing intimacy elsewhere),
  • Situational (priority/availability mismatches).
• Queer-specific wrinkles: Small circles, exes in the friend group, and higher alert around emotional infidelity can amplify jealousy.
• Attachment + history: Anxious attachment and past betrayals supercharge triggers. Don’t overlay old wounds on new people.
• Social media traps: Creeping, burner accounts, “proving it” hunts—erode trust and rarely soothe.
• Boundaries ≠ control: Ask, “Is this someone I should worry about?” Use I-statements, set your boundaries, don’t police theirs.
• Quick self-check: If you’re jealous in 9/10 situations, look inward; if 1/10, examine the situation. Regulate first (breathe, journal, meditate).
• Ask for what you need: Reassurance, check-ins, affection—be direct. Therapy helps if it’s sticky.
• Spice vs. scorch: Playful partner-flirting can be bonding; throuples/“opening up” rarely fix problems—tread carefully (and tell us if yours does work!).

Share your take: jealousy wins, lessons, or a successful 5+ year throuple 📧 info@datableaf.com | 📸 @datableaf

Next up: Am I Losing Myself or Just Growing Up? IRL: Aug 24 at 1972 Bar (Austin, TX) — come hang!

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