Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book 1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling 3:40: The importance of the way something is said 8:10: Disentangling tone from content 9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact 12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict 17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm 25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation 29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening 35:45: Trust 39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate? 41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back 43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth 46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself 49:05: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Jan 20231h 1min

The main topic we explore on the podcast, in many different ways, is change. How can we come to understand ourselves better, let go of who we were, and become who we wish to be? In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by meditation teacher and former Zen monastic Caverly Morgan. They discuss how we can release our conditioning, identify the inner voice that leads to change, and get to the heart of who we are. About Our Guest: Caverly is a meditation teacher, author, and the founder of Peace in Schools - a nonprofit which created the nation's first for-credit mindfulness class in public high schools. Her practice began in 1995, and has included eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She’s also the author of the wonderful new book The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: Caverly’s path to Zen 3:30: Truth and freedom 7:20: Chop wood, carry water 8:30: Why it’s okay to have a “conventional” path to enlightenment 9:35: The voice that says “is this all there is?” 12:25: Distinguishing our conditioning from what we really want 15:40: What supports us in exercising our will 21:20: Resistance, preference, and willingness 23:25: Responding to “should” 29:10: Our will and our ego 35:30: Making room for our own nurturing voice 37:35: Practical ways to listen to the heart 40:40: Awakening together 47:20: Coming home to our own being at the simplest level 50:30: Recap New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Jan 202357min

Before becoming the “Buddhist brain guy” Dr. Rick spent over 30 years working in private practice as a couples counselor and family therapist. Today we’re leaning on that experience, and learning what we can do to build healthier, happier, and more fulfilling relationships. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and Rick’s upcoming book 3:20: The importance of deliberate action in making a relationship  5:50: 6 practical steps from Rick’s new book 10:05: The relationship we have with ourselves 13:10: When others don’t want the same thing 18:50: Rick’s recurring observations in relationship counseling 25:00: Balancing intimacy and autonomy, and asserting what you want 30:50: Staying on topic and establishing thorough agreements 36:25: Sticking to our needs without alienating others 37:45: Tolerating discomfort 40:20: Getting to truth with others 41:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Jan 202349min

We often know what we “should” do, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to do it. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman and Dr. Jordyn Feingold to explore how we can learn to consistently choose our best selves, overcome barriers to growth, and fully actualize ourselves. About our Guests: Scott is a cognitive scientist, humanistic psychologist, professor at Columbia University, host of the popular Psychology Podcast, and the author of 10 books, including Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. Jordyn is a resident physician in psychiatry, a well-being researcher, and a positive psychology practitioner. Together, they’re the authors of the recently released Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: Why the title Choose Growth? 3:50: Balancing growth and discomfort 7:20: The value of social support 12:00: Growth from positive experiences 14:15: Mindset 15:40: 8 ways to choose growth 16:35: Building self-esteem and distinguishing it from narcissism 24:55: Becoming a transcender 29:25: Transcending dichotomies 34:15: Practicing self-compassion  36:50: The underlying ground 41:30: Creativity and healing 46:00: Daily positive medicine for collective growth 50:15: Recap   Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: Being Well is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Jan 202356min

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills.  On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:55: Why do you want to change? 4:50: Four fundamental strategies 7:00: Three common issues 9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck 12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not 13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself 17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs 24:15: Levity and affection for yourself 27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior 30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change 34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame 39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies 42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing 46:40: Recap New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Jan 202356min

We’ve come to the end of another year, and it’s a good time to take stock and consider how we’d like to grow and change during our next trip around the sun. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on what supports us and what holds us back from reinventing ourselves and becoming all we wish to be. They talk about how they’d like to change over the next year, different approaches to new year’s resolutions, do a little digging around in Forrest’s psyche, and highlight a few practical things we can do to support our growth.  New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. Our New Year’s sale is going on now, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price.Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:55: Different frameworks around goals and intentions 6:15: Forrest’s goal: more freedom, less constraint 8:50: Integrating the mundane and the profound 11:35: What supports us in changing? What constrains us? 13:35: Mentors, and other sources of encouragement 22:00: Reverting to old patterns when returning to old environments 28:00: Self-acceptance makes change possible 29:45: “Trim tabs” and other forms of psychological leverage 35:30: Diligence, effort, and consistency 37:50: Addressing deficits and reassuring yourself 40:30: Relaxing around inevitability 41:40: Embracing the joy of possibility and change 46:35: Recap Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Dec 202254min

We think of stress as “bad” for you, but what if some forms of stress could actually help us grow and change for the better? On today’s episode Forrest and Dr. Rick are joined by Dr. Elissa Epel, a psychologist and leading stress researcher, to explore the science behind the stress response. They talk about the different forms of stress, what separates “good” stress from “bad” stress, how we can take advantage of good stress, and dealing with existential forms of stress like the climate crisis.  About our Guest: Elissa Epel is a psychologist, bestselling author, and a Professor and Vice Chair in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. Her research focuses on stress, well-being, and optimal aging. She’s also the best-selling co-author of The Telomere Effect, and her newest book is The Stress Prescription: Seven Days to More Joy and Ease. New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 40% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Toxic stress vs. hormetic stress 6:30: Challenge orientation vs. threat response 11:35: Simple anchoring practices and their effects 17:00: Autophagy 19:00: Practical consequences of different forms of stress 25:25: Distinguishing physiological from psychological stress 31:00: Comfort with uncertainty and shared existential concerns 40:20: The future of the planet and its inequities 42:40: Recap Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Dec 202253min

Criticism is an unavoidable part of life. But even though we’re all going to be criticized from time to time, many of us spend much of our lives living in fear of criticism. Then, on the flip side, we’re all critics ourselves. We’ve all been in situations that aren’t quite what we want them to be – so we need to either do something to change them or accept them as they are.  On this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest focus on how we can get better at receiving and giving criticism, learn to accept what lies outside of our control, and avoid the “mood of complaint.” New Course From Rick! Learn the lessons of a lifetime in the new and improved Foundations of Wellbeing 2.0 program. This yearlong, online program teaches you how to grow the 12 key inner strengths that lead to lasting wellbeing during difficult times. It’s currently 50% off, and you can use the code BeingWell25 to get an additional 25% off the purchase price. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and critiques of the podcast 4:45: Where we place our attention 8:00: Two kinds of complaint 8:55: Self-righteousness and identifying with our complaints 11:25: What do we hope to accomplish by complaining? 13:15: Sharing experience vs. asserting information 18:35: Developing relationships where your vulnerability is welcome 24:45: Projecting your unclear desires on other people 28:10: How to respond to negative feedback and manage your reactions 32:00: Releasing attachment to changing others and responding to trolls 39:00: Complaints come from emotional dissatisfaction 43:45: Recap   Sponsors: Sponsors: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.   Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Dec 202253min