On Purpose with Jay Shetty

What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today? How can you get better at persuading others? Today, Jay welcomes former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference", Chris Voss. He is renowned for his innovative negotiation strategies that emphasize empathy, emotional intelligence, and tactical communication. After retiring from the FBI, Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a consultancy firm that provides negotiation training for businesses and individuals. He is also a popular speaker and has taught negotiation at various business schools. Chris discusses his journey from being on a SWAT team to becoming a lead FBI negotiator. He shares that his career path changed after a knee injury and his growing interest in crisis response led him to hostage negotiation where he found the work more satisfying than his previous roles, emphasizing the importance of decisive action in crises. Chris and Jay discuss how human beings are naturally wired to be negative as a survival mechanism, which impacts negotiations. He reframes negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a confrontational one and suggests that effective negotiation often goes unnoticed because it looks like seamless collaboration. They also talk about gender dynamics in negotiation, with Voss providing advice on how women can better negotiate in environments where they might be undervalued. In this interview, you'll learn: How to calm tense talks How to negotiate with narcissists How to disarm aggression How to foster collaboration How to build rapport In any situation, effective negotiation is not about winning at all costs but about creating a shared path forward that benefits everyone involved. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator 04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations 08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions 09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict 14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You? 21:15 How Do You Slow Down? 25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation? 29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes 31:42 Always Look for the Patterns 40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of 44:21 The Illusion of Control 46:17 What’s Your Intention? 48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary? 50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace 53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise 58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better? 01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal 01:05:03 Work with the ELFs 01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting 01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating 01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship? 01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values 01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary 01:34:01 Chris on Final Five Episode Resources: Chris Voss | Website Chris Voss | Instagram Chris Voss | LinkedIn Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On ItSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Aug 20241h 39min

How did you realize they weren't the one for you? How did you cope with the heartbreak? Today shares a detailed exploration of the emotional journey involved in recognizing and accepting that someone you once believed was "the one" for you, wasn't actually the right person. Often, it’s common for people to convince themselves that someone is the perfect partner, even before that person has committed or shown signs of being a suitable match. This can lead to heartbreak when the relationship fails, but  it’s okay because the person wasn't truly right for them either. Jay also discusses the importance of understanding whether the person was truly healed from past wounds or whether they were presenting a version of themselves that wasn’t authentic. Consider the idea that sometimes people stay in relationships out of fear of being alone rather than genuine love or connection. And if a partner is unable or unwilling to engage in meaningful conversations, they might not be the right person. In this episode you'll learn: How to recognize when someone isn't right for you How to focus on your partner's reality, not ideals How to prioritize meaningful conversations How to stay self-aware after a breakup How to balance emotions in a relationship Remember, it's okay if someone wasn't the one for you—what matters most is that you remain true to yourself and continue to seek the love and connection you deserve.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:54 They Weren’t For You and That’s Okay 05:04 #1: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them 09:09 #2: They Never Showed Up When It Mattered 10:55 #3: They’re Still Healing 12:41 #4: They Kept Saying We Can’t Do This 16:37 #5: You Were Chasing the Whole Time 18:53 #6: They Made You Feel Detached 19:13 #7: You Are More Scared Of Being Alone Than Be With Them  20:58 #8: They Couldn’t Open Up in Meaningful ConversationsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

23 Aug 202424min

How do you help your children build confidence? How do you teach your kids to be resilient? Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman. Aliza is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and healthcare providers. She is the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and an expert in parenting strategies and child development. Dr. Pressman is also the author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, where she offers practical advice and insights for parents looking to raise emotionally resilient and well-rounded children. Aliza begins by discussing whether everyone should become a parent and emphasizes the importance of being intentional and reflective before making that decision. She suggests that potential parents should think about their own values and how they want to approach parenting. She explains that having a strong, secure bond with a child is crucial for their development and that this bond can evolve over time, even if there have been mistakes along the way. Some children are more sensitive and require a specific environment to thrive, while others are more adaptable. She encourages parents to be mindful of their child’s unique needs. The discussion moves on to discipline and encouragement. Dr. Pressman suggests that discipline should focus on teaching rather than punishing, with clear boundaries set for the child’s safety and well-being. When it comes to building confidence, she emphasizes that helping children develop skills (competence) is more effective than simply giving praise. In this interview, you'll learn: How to handle parenting guilt and shame How to set boundaries for your child How to build your child’s confidence How to discipline effectively How to foster independence in your child How to build a secure attachment with your child By focusing on building secure attachments, setting clear boundaries, and fostering independence, parents can create a nurturing environment where their children can thrive. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:57 Should Everyone Be a Parent? 04:29 How Do We Get to Be Who We Are? 05:50 Secure Attachment Relationship 07:15 Feeling of Guilt and Shame as a Parent 11:07 Tiny Moments to Build Resilience 15:31 The Tendency to Overcorrect 17:03 What is Effective Reflection? 21:44 Learn to Reflect with Your Children 26:31 Failure as a Parent 31:14 Different Forms of Communication with Children 35:10 What is the Right Approach to Discipline? 39:10 Three Parenting Styles 41:36 Tension and Rejection Can Be a Motivation 45:34 Dealing with a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Open Up 50:12 Your Presence is Important 51:46 How to Have a Social Media Conversation? 57:12 How to Raise a Confident Human? 01:01:40 Allow Kids to Showcase What They Learned 01:05:53 Adults Can Work on Themselves 01:07:23 Aliza on Final Five Episode Resources: Dr. Aliza Pressman | Website Dr. Aliza Pressman | Instagram Dr. Aliza Pressman | Facebook Raising Good Humans The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good HumansSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

19 Aug 20241h 11min

How often do you check your phone daily? Do you feel anxious when you’re away from your phone? Today, Jay addresses the growing concern of excessive phone and internet usage, exploring its detrimental effects on mental and physical health. He begins by explaining how activities like swiping, liking, and commenting on social media provide our brains with dopamine hits, which can create a cycle of dependency and compulsive behavior. Despite the benefits of technology, such as increased connectivity and access to information, many people feel less connected and more distracted, anxious, and impatient. Jay elaborates on the neurological aspects of dopamine and its role in pleasure-seeking behaviors, emphasizing that problems arise when we expect constant rewards from our online activities. He draws parallels between the brain's response to food and its response to digital consumption, advocating for a balanced approach that avoids overindulgence in either. In this episode, you'll learn: How to become more conscious of your internet use How to have wifi-free meals How to replace morning phone use with healthier habits How to stay mindful when using technology How to engage in a cell phone detox The ultimate goal is to create a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:46 On Your Phone All the Time? 05:32 Losing Control Over Phone Use 06:19 Six Steps to Phone Detox 07:01 Dopamine 11:23 People Aren’t As Happy As Before 13:39 How Often Do You Check Your Phone? 14:27 Cortisol 17:26 Step 1: Become More Conscious 19:19 Step 2: Wait an Hour Before Going Online 21:18 Step 3: The WiFi-Free Meal 23:45 Step 4: Watch What You Consume Online 24:54 Step 5: Limit Potions 25:48 Step 6: Intermittent FastingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

16 Aug 202427min

How can you start letting your guard down in love? How can you become more open and vulnerable in your relationships? Today, let's welcome Alexis Ren and Allie Michelle. Alexis is a model, entrepreneur, and social media influencer with over 18 million followers on Instagram. Known for her advocacy of mental health and self-empowerment, Alexis has leveraged her platform to promote wellness and personal growth. She is also the co-founder of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. Allie is a bestselling author, spoken word artist, and certified yoga, breathwork, meditation, Reiki, and craniosacral therapist. She is passionate about holistic health and personal development, which she incorporates into her work. The duo are the co-founders of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. Alexis and Allie's friendship began when they were preteens and they share how their relationship has been a cornerstone of their personal growth, providing mutual support through life's challenges. A significant turning point in their friendship occurred when Alexis's mother passed away, leading to Allie’s family adopting Alexis. A significant theme throughout the discussion is the balance of masculine and feminine energies, which Alexis and Allie explore in depth. They describe how these energies play out in their lives and work, with Alexis often taking on a more masculine, action-oriented role, while Allie embodies a more feminine, intuitive approach. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring both energies within oneself and in others, as this balance has been crucial in their personal and professional lives. Alexis and Allie also address the societal pressures that women face, particularly around beauty standards and career expectations. Both women emphasize the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal expectations to find deeper fulfillment and authenticity. In this interview, you'll learn: How to support a friend How to manage criticism How to build a strong friendship How to stay authentic How to handle creative blocks How to empower others Embrace the balance of your masculine and feminine energies, break free from societal expectations, and empower each other to thrive on the journey to self-discovery and growth. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:38 Beginning of a Friendship 08:25 Growing Together Independently 10:21 Going Through Big and Small Changes 15:19 Creative and Emotional Intelligence 18:30 Validating and Complimenting Each Other 21:59 Types of Archetypes 27:18 What's Holding Women Back? 29:46 Start Embracing Your Feminine Energy 33:38 Why Did It Trigger You? 41:00 How to Prepare for Life 45:23 Living an Internally Peaceful Life 52:44 Balance Between Masculine and Feminine Energy 01:02:25 Dealing with the Imbalance in Your Energy 01:07:00 You Can Do Uncomfortable Things 01:10:16 The Best Journaling Practice 01:14:39 Speak to Your Subconscious 01:16:55 Try Leaning Into the Moment 01:23:27 Relationship Checklist 01:28:38 Alexis and Allie on Final Five 01:37:46 Giving Each Other the Grace of Change Episode Resources: Alexis Ren | YouTube Alexis Ren | Instagram Alexis Ren | Facebook Alexis Ren | TikTok Allie Michelle | YouTube Allie Michelle | Instagram Allie Michelle | TikTok Allie Michelle | Books We Are Warriors Special thank you to Kajabi. Visit: https://kajabi.com/JayShettySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

12 Aug 20241h 38min

How does unresolved trauma impact your life? How can you rewire your brain to overcome trauma? Today, in the On Purpose podcast, Jay sits down with actress and LGBT advocate, Laverne Cox. Laverne’s groundbreaking performance on "Orange Is the New Black" made her the first openly transgender person to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award. In addition to her acting career, Laverne Cox has been involved in various advocacy and awareness campaigns, making her a significant figure in the ongoing struggle for transgender and LGBTQ+ rights. Her work has contributed to greater visibility and acceptance of transgender individuals in the entertainment industry and society at large. In this episode, Laverne and Jay dive deep into transgender rights, media representation challenges, and how empathy can make a big difference in our divided world. They also discuss how fake news and false information on the internet can be a problem and why learning how to spot them is crucial.  Laverne also shares personal experiences and insights that shed light on the struggles and triumphs of the transgender community. She also talked about the need for structural change, greater investment in education, and the role of love and empathy in promoting understanding and healing.  In this interview, you'll learn: The power of personal stories in changing perceptions and fostering empathy The struggles and rights of transgender individuals in society Ways to challenge and correct misconceptions about transgender individuals The importance of uncomfortable conversations and understanding why having difficult discussions is essential for growth and progress. Remember that understanding and empathy can bridge even the widest divides, and it's through collective efforts that we can work toward a more inclusive and compassionate world.  With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:10 Childhood Memories That Define Who Laverne Is Today 10:51 Reparenting Her Inner Child 18:27 Why Is Denial Unhealthy? 25:05 Try To Let Go Of All Your Thoughts 27:43 The Fear and Freedom of Growing Older in Hollywood 31:13 Unlearning Transphobia and White Supremacy 46:06 Fight for Trans Rights and Mental Wellness 59:03 Bridging the Divide Through Thoughtful Conversations Episode Resources: Laverne Cox | Instagram |  Laverne Cox | X  Laverne Cox | Facebook Laverne Cox | TikTok  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

9 Aug 20241h 17min

How do you deal with negative people close to you? How do you stay positive around negative people? Today, Jay welcomes Robert Greene, known for his bestsellers like "The 48 Laws of Power" and "The Daily Laws." Robert's works draw on historical figures and events to provide insights into the dynamics of power and social influence. His books are often used as guides for personal development, leadership, and understanding the complexities of human interactions. Robert shares tips on dealing with negative people, emphasizing the importance of emotional distance and understanding that everyone has their flaws and shares his thoughts on the idea that our sense of self is just a mental construct, and real enlightenment comes from letting go of our egos. He also stresses the importance of questioning your beliefs to truly understand who you are and what you’re meant to do in life. Followed by Jay and Robert's discussion on why it's more important to judge people by their character rather than their intelligence or charm, how a strong character is shown by handling criticism well, working well with others, and managing stress. They also talk about how modern life can make us less empathetic and the need to genuinely connect with others. In this interview, you'll learn: How to deal with negative people How to develop empathy in modern life How to question your own beliefs How to stay true to yourself How to handle criticism constructively How to manage stress effectively By understanding the nature of the self, maintaining emotional distance from negativity, and focusing on genuine connections, we can foster a stronger sense of empathy and authenticity in our lives. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 05:31 How to Deal with Negative People? 09:04 Look Behind the Mask 13:26 Getting Attracted to the Wrong People 15:02 Filling Up the Emptiness 17:23 Surprising Characteristics in Humans 19:10 Our Capacity for Empathy 21:31 What’s Your Most Repeated Thought? 22:34 How Quiet the Mind 24:54 Becoming More Aware 30:20 How We Process What We’re Experiencing 33:42 Who Really Are You? 37:44 How People Think About You 41:00 People’s Perception of You 43:46 The Before and After 46:57 Timeless Knowledge in Books 49:58 What Makes You Excited? 53:16 The Second Self 55:57 The Core of Your Reality 59:21 Limited Language 01:01:41 The Limited Circle of Harmony 01:04:49 Different Thoughts About the World 01:11:04 Slowing Down 01:13:21 Robert on Final Five Episode Resources: Robert Greene | Website Robert Greene | Instagram Robert Greene | TikTok Robert Greene | YouTube Robert Greene | BooksSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Aug 20241h 20min

What’s blocking you? What’s holding you back? Today, Jay talks about the concept of self-sabotage, examining how it manifests in various aspects of our lives and offering strategies for overcoming it. Self-sabotage is defined as behaviors that undermine our own success, happiness, and stated goals. These actions often occur subconsciously, rooted in deep psychological patterns formed during early childhood. Jay outlines four primary ways people self-sabotage: chronic lateness, procrastination, putting oneself down, and perfectionism. He also discusses the habit of putting oneself down, which can manifest through over-apologizing or refusing to take credit for accomplishments. This behavior is often linked to low self-esteem or an internalized critical voice from childhood. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Recognize Self-Sabotage How to Stop Putting Yourself Down How to Change Negative Self-Talk How to Understand Your Triggers How to Set Boundaries By understanding and working through these patterns, you can unlock your full potential and achieve the success and happiness you desire. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:08 What is Self-Sabotage? 05:41 Passive-Aggressive Behavior 08:22 Behavior that Counters What We Tell Ourselves 11:08 What Leads to Self-Sabotage? 14:26 #1: Chronic Lateness 16:22 #2: Procrastination 19:53 #3: Putting Yourself Down 23:15 #4: Perfectionism 27:01 Three Ways to Deal with Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior 28:53 weird noise in the backgroundSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2 Aug 202430min