SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a 36-year-old straight woman and just broke up with my ex. Something that always bothered my ex was that we didn’t have an orgasm at the same time. I learned to fake it to avoid him getting annoyed or upset if we didn’t ‘come together’ during intercourse, but I don’t want to do that anymore. All the men I’ve slept with seem to expect this will happen. I can’t be the only one not having simultaneous orgasms. How do I deal with this?2) A married man I have always found very attractive has split from his wife. He’s a friend of a friend that I’ve met a few times at a party. I don’t know why they split up, but it happened about a month ago. My question is when is the right/acceptable time to make a move after a break up? I suspect he will be snapped up fast! My friend is more friendly with him than his wife and says she is happy to organize a way for us to meet again.3) My partner and I have been together for 18 months and want to explore open relationships. We think of each other as our ‘rocks’ and the person to make long-term goals with, but want to explore other sexual relationships. We both know it will take constant and consistent communication. But what are some other rules and boundaries that will help us find the right fit without it affecting our relationship in a negative way? Neither of us have tried this before but we are both quite excited about it.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Okt 202225min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m 36 and have been married for nine years. I’m sick to death of being pestered for sex by my husband. He wants sex all the time and gets angry or sulks when I don’t give in. I’ve tried telling him that being hassled makes me want sex less, not more, but he doesn’t listen. Our sex is okay, but it’s always about his pleasure. We have sex about four times a week which is more than enough for me. How can I stop him behaving like this?2) I’m intrigued by anal play but haven’t a clue where to start, how to suggest it to my partner, or what to do. Also, how do I make it clear to him that this doesn’t mean I want anal intercourse? My boyfriend is keen to try that, but I'm not. A friend did it and said it really hurt. Any tips?3) I am 16 years old and have never done anything — not a first kiss, no talking to guys, and I've never been in a relationship. I'm wondering, how I am supposed to manage in the future with no experience? Do you guys have tips on how to stop comparing myself to other girls that have had sex or are in relationships and for me not to feel like an outcast?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

19 Okt 202226min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a woman in my early thirties and I don’t get wet either during masturbation or sex (but I do have orgasms easily). It has always been like that. I’ve tried lubes, creams, dietary supplements, even hormones, but nothing's changed. I’ve talked to different doctors and everything is fine medically with me. I didn’t talk to my boyfriend about my problem at the start because I feel so terribly ashamed about it. Instead, I secretly put some lube on and in my vagina before we had sex. I didn’t want him to feel that I am always dry — I was scared he would take it personally or think I’m not normal. More than a year later, I’m still doing this. If I think we’re going to have sex, I tell him I need to go to the toilet or invent other excuse so I can apply some lube. It’s very stressful! I don't want to hide this secret anymore but I feel trapped. Should I confess what I’ve been doing, every single time we've had sex? I think that he’d be completely okay with it, but I don’t want to stop using lube because I don’t want to be touched when I am dry. It doesn’t make me feel feminine at all and I AM worried what he will think…2) We’ve been married for 12 years and both of us are bored stupid with our sex life. My wife is keen for us to act out our sexual fantasies to shake things up, but I’m worried this might backfire. She’s enthusiastic after a few drinks and wants to try everything; but, the next day, stone-cold sober, gets cold feet. Is there a way to get our kicks without her waking up regretful or it causing real problems between us?3) I’ve been with my partner for 20 years and we’re really happy. Or at least I thought we were. About two months ago, we were both talking about things we wish we’d done in our lives and things we regret; and, out of the blue, my partner confessed he’d had a brief affair with one of my friends 10 years ago. It was very strange – it was almost like he was boasting about it. that I should be impressed that my friend hit on him. It’s thrown me completely and I am questioning everything. I’m not friends with the woman anymore but how do I live with this? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

12 Okt 202227min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) My partner of six years and I used to have really good sex but it’s dropped off considerably as time goes on. We used to be grabbing at each other all the time but that’s disappeared and now it’s all too easy to let other things take priority. Would planning a day when we do it help us get back on track or does it turn sex into a something you tick off the ‘to-do’ list?2) I am certain my partner watches porn but he won’t admit it to me. I made it clear at the start of the relationship that if I found out he watched it while with me, it’s over. We have sex often so why would he need to look at other women? I find it insulting that I am not enough. He knows I am on the warpath so he clears his history and changes his password on his phone. I can’t admit that I know this without admitting that I’m snooping. How do I get him to truly stop and how will I truly know when he has?3) I’m 34 and having real problems with relationships. I don’t trust men at all, even though none of the people I’ve been with have ever cheated on me. It’s because my father had an affair. The affair broke my mother and the pain and devastation it caused has left its mark on all of us. My siblings also struggle with trust issues. Any advice on how to get past this?To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

5 Okt 202227min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I have been with my partner for 15 years – we got together at college. Our sex life is okay...ish, but I crave new experiences and I want to have them on my own. I have always wanted to sleep with another woman. I would never cheat on my partner with another man – that’s just wrong — but is sleeping with another woman so bad? I know a club where I could meet women and make this happen. I would make sure I was discrete and that my partner never found out.2) Tracey, you talked about using a stroker to speed up a hand-job. Do you have any other shortcuts to keep husbands happy when you’ve been married a long time and sex gets tedious? Hints on how to speed things up a little?3) My boyfriend (of six months) keeps trying to tell me how to dress and what to wear. I think it comes from the right place – he’s always telling me what an amazing body I have – but it’s ticking me off. If he had his way, I’d be permanently in heels, skinny jeans and a low cut top. I’m happy to dress sexily some of the time, but other times I just want to be comfortable. He’s making me feel bad for dressing down. Like I’m only attractive to him when I’m in tight, sexy clothes. I’ve told him to stop but he continues. I think he thinks he’s giving me a compliment: that I have a good body and should show it off.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Sep 202227min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) I’m a straight woman and very happy with my partner. All is good; but, four years in I still feel intimated by his sexual past. He’s a little older than me and has had many lovers. I have only slept with one person before him (I was in a long-term relationship for many years before we met). He’s never said anything to make me feel inferior, but I sometimes feel like a dancing monkey trying to wow the crowd. I still worry I’m not hitting the bar. How can I get past this?2) I’m trying to work out if my sex life is in trouble or not. I’ve been with my partner for eight years and am not stupid enough to expect the fireworks that were there at the start. But sex often feels like something that’s a chore to be crossed off my ‘to-do’ list. I feel bad admitting this because I know Tracey thinks women should initiate, but I leave it up to my husband to suggest sex. It’s okay when we have it, but we are guilty of doing the same thing every time. Does this sound like a sex life in trouble or the norm for a couple that's been together a long time? 3) Does being drunk excuse someone from cheating? I’ve just started seeing someone who seems nice. But the other night he went AWOL on a night out with the boys and didn’t contact me until mid-afternoon the next day. He then admitted he’d been with someone else. He basically blamed his mates for getting him so drunk that he had no idea what he was doing. I don’t know whether to give him another chance or not. He’s 54 and divorced, and I’m 48. He was single for a while before I met him.To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 Sep 202226min

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:1) What’s your view on ‘vabbing’? Does it really work to attract men? Can people tell what it is they’re smelling and wouldn’t they be put off if they do figure it out? 2) I’m a 44-year-old attractive, fit woman but have never really been in a proper relationship and because of this I lack experience in the bedroom. I can honestly say I don’t know how to give basic things like a hand job and this is stopping me from dating men. It’s so embarrassing. Any tips on where I can learn how to do this?3) My new partner goes into baby speak when he wants sex. He puts on this stupid voice and says things like, ‘Willy wants his widdle played with;’ or, ‘Willy wants to be naughty/wants hanky panky.’ He thinks it’s funny but it’s such a turn-off. How do I get him to stop without hurting his feelings? To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUWant a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

14 Sep 202227min

In this episode, Tracey answers these three anonymous questions:1) I’ve just started a new relationship with a guy I’m really into. Our sex is good and he seems to enjoy it but his erections are a little hit and miss. On two occasions, he struggled to get one and I notice he loses his erection when he goes down on me. Does that mean he’s not enjoying doing it? Do you think it means he’s not that into me sexually or he doesn’t find me attractive? We’re both in our 20s so shouldn’t his erection be really hard?2) My husband is leaving for a work training course for 10 weeks. We will be able to talk and video chat on the phone but won’t see each other in person until his training is done. We’ve been together for 19 years and have never been apart for this long. We enjoy having sex 3-4 times a week and we are both going to miss it while he’s gone. Neither of us have ever had phone or video sex so any tips or ideas to spice things up from afar are much appreciated. 3) I haven't had a sexual partner for many years for various reasons (early menopause, kids etc). I would love to have a man in my life but don't even know where to start. I'm taking HRT so my libido is back with a vengeance, but I don't know where to find a partner. I also feel like a partner will expect me to know so much more than I do. I feel like a sexual novice and this is affecting my confidence. I’m 42. And offers her sex tip of the week!Purchase SexTok with Zibby and Tracey merch here: https://www.bonfire.com/store/zibby-owens/To have Tracey answer YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelUTracey writes a column summarizing the main points of each episode on Medium. Read it at https://bit.ly/3MhkxN4Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

3 Maj 202229min