Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn2 Joulu 2025

Weaponized incompetence and other ADHD “crimes” (Reddit Reactions)

We’re back with another spicy Reddit Reactions episode!

This week, we dive into two wildly relatable ADHD relationship posts: one about a partner claiming “you lost your sparkle” (eye roll), and another spiraling over chores, shame, and new-job burnout. We unpack toxic dynamics, people-pleasing, clutter blindness, and why you’re not weaponizing incompetence.

For more on this topic:

Listen: ADHD, cheating, and weaponized incompetence
Watch: ADHD and people-pleasing
Read: What IS weaponized incompetence?

Timestamps:

(01:00) A sparkle-stealing husband

(04:10) Is it ADHD… or a toxic partner?

(08:20) ADHD shame spiral: “I can’t do anything right!”

(11:40) Clutter blindness and burnout

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

As kids head back to school, it's a good time to remember: not every student experiences the classroom the same way. Through My Eyes, a free interactive experience from Understood, lets you step into a day in the life of a kid with ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia. See their strengths and challenges in a whole new way. Try it out here.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(60)

I’ve never felt like a good woman: ADHD and femininity

In this episode, a complex conversation about ADHD, femininity, gender, and why talking about the hard stuff is important.Cate sits down with Rae Jacobson, host of Understood.org’s Hyperfocus podcast,...

9 Syys 30min

An Emmy winner’s trick for ADHD idea overload (Live show!)

We recorded our first-ever live show in front of a studio audience! Emmy Award–winning writer, director, and producer Adam Reid, co-creator of “Tiny Chef,” joined Cate to talk about ADHD creativity: w...

26 Elo 27min

Your ADHD brain loves a good argument. Here’s why that’s a problem.

Ever notice your ADHD brain gets a little too excited during an argument? Like you’re not even mad anymore, you’re just... having a really good time being right? Yeah. There’s a reason for that, and i...

12 Elo 20min

Why money fights are never really about money

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships — and for people with ADHD, it comes with an extra layer of shame most people don’t talk about. Cate sits down with Dr. Christine Hargr...

28 Heinä 33min

Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships

Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with...

14 Heinä 30min

ADHD and impulse control: The science behind why willpower fails

Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves)....

30 Kesä 24min

Why good sex can make your ADHD brain spiral

Do you feel almost manic after really good sex — craving more, making impulsive decisions, fixating on the next time? In this episode of Reddit reactions, Cate and Jessamine tackle five real Reddit po...

16 Kesä 25min

Why neurodivergent women can’t stop reading smut and romantasy

Did you know that women with ADHD consume explicit fiction at dramatically higher rates than neurotypical women — and there’s a neurological reason? Dr. Erika Miley is a licensed mental health counsel...

2 Kesä 18min