EP47 - "Only Yes Means Yes"

Welcome to episode 236 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers back to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss her new book, Shameless Parenting, look at the issue of sexual shame, and give recommendations on how to talk to your kids about sex.      Dr. Tina is a vibrant thought leader around issues of sexuality, intimacy, and spirituality. Her life’s work is centered around rooting out the causes of sexual shame and providing tools that disarm and demystify all the negative messages that we receive in American culture and so often in religious circles. She regularly speaks at events, conferences, intimacy retreats, churches, and universities around the country.     Dr. Tina is a sex therapist, former professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Seattle Pacific University, founder of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, AASECT-certified supervisor, mother, wife, and author. She is currently doing work on her next book, which is intended to help parents raise their children free of sexual shame and appropriately teach them about healthy sexuality over each stage of their development.    In this episode, you will hear:     Why Dr. Tina wrote her new book, Shameless Parenting  Where does our sexual shame come from?   How our sexuality is fluid and changes over time   Learning the best ways to talk to your kids about sex   How if don’t talk to them about sex, they will pick up other values and info about sex from online, social media, etc.   What age is appropriate for kids to start being curious about sex?   The difference between self-soothing and masturbating   Teaching the values of privacy around sex to our kids   Recommendations on how to talk to your kids about sex       Find Dr. Tina Online   https://www.tinaschermersellers.com     Talking to Your Child About Sex: A Checklist for Parents  https://oasis2care.com/checklist-for-parents/     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

29 Kesä 202131min

Welcome to episode 235 of the Sexology Podcast! Today is a solo episode where I talk about the issues of delayed ejaculation.     In this episode, you will hear:     The challenges overall of erectile functioning   Looking at the time it takes for men on average to ejaculate   Contributing causes to delayed ejaculation   How side effects from medication can affect this issue   The role guilt and shame can play around delayed ejaculation  How we can internalize negative experiences   How masturbation can affect delayed ejaculation  Looking at the frequency of masturbation   Being honest and authentic with your partner  Opening up about your sexual desires and fantasies to your partner   Overcoming any issues of shame and embarrassment   Incorporating sex toys into your sex life   How you can maintain erections during penetrative sex         Sexology Podcast  https://sexologypodcast.com     Tips for Lifelong Erectile Health  https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/     Bedroom To Fizzle   https://sexologypodcast.com/bedroomfizzletosizzle     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Kesä 202126min

Welcome to episode 234 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Kristopher Lovestone to the podcast. In this episode, Kristopher talks to me about his book, Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual For Men, the role porn plays in distorting our view on penis size and expectations and why women are more interested in men being good lovers than just having a big penis.     The “Einstein of relationships”, Kristopher Lovestone is an ingenious certified sex educator who is breaking new ground in sex education for men and couples.  After surviving six divorces during his childhood he went on to rewrite the rules of the relationship game so that people can actually win.     His ingenious & practical approach transforms people’s ability to get what they really want in their long-term relationship.  Through state-of-the-art communication tools, cutting-edge sex & intimacy education and innovative relational strategies, he empowers people to exit relationship exhaustion & cultivate the intimacy of their dreams with their partner.     His techniques have yielded him a wildly successful 15-year marriage that gets hotter every year, and you can find his teachings in his book, Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual For Men.    In this episode, you will hear:     What we can learn from Kristopher’s book - Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual for Men  Why men are still invested in penis size  How many women are more interested in men being good lovers than just having a big penis   The role porn plays in distorting our view on penis size and expectations   Why good foreplay is more important than penis size  Ways in which you can improve your foreplay   How less can be more when it comes to sex   Understanding that having a big penis doesn’t automatically mean you’re good in bed  Looking at orgasms without ejaculation   Learning to last longer in bed for more fulfilling sex        Kristopher Lovestone  https://www.consciouscock.com/   Tips for Lifelong Erectile Health  https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/     Bedroom To Fizzle   https://sexologypodcast.com/bedroomfizzletosizzle     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

15 Kesä 202139min

Welcome to episode 233 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr. Jed Kaminetsky to the podcast. In this episode, Dr. Kaminetsky speaks to me about the impact of testosterone on sexual health, the challenges some people face with their bodies not producing enough testosterone and analyzing men’s orgasms.     Dr. Jed Kaminetsky, M.D. is a Clinical Assistant Professor at NYU Medical Center and a Board Certified Urologist at University Urology, one of the largest urology practice in the New York City area. He pioneered the minimally invasive Rezum BPH treatment, is highly skilled in treating all urologic disorders and excels in vasectomies, minimally invasive prostate surgeries and penile implants.     His academic interests in male and female sexual dysfunction have been published in medical journals which led to a nationwide recognition and development of various treatment schemes for patients with sexual, erectile dysfunction and androgen deficiency.    In this episode, you will hear:     The impact of testosterone on sexual health   Looking at supplements, how they work and potential side effects   Ways to make lasting change for better sexual health   Looking at the impact of a healthy lifestyle; good diet, exercise, work-life balance   How early can you expect to see changes after making lifestyle changes   The challenges some people face with their bodies not producing enough testosterone   The effect of Covid-19 on testosterone levels   How prostrate treatment can impact sexual health   The side effects of prostate treatment   Analyzing men’s orgasms   Looking at the best first lines of treatment for prostate issues         Find Dr. Jed Kaminetsky  https://www.universityurology.com     Tips for Lifelong Erectile Health https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/ Bedroom To Fizzle   https://sexologypodcast.com/bedroomfizzletosizzle     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

8 Kesä 202127min

Welcome to episode 232 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr. Morgan Anderson to the podcast. In this episode, Dr. Morgan talks to me about attachment styles and how they impact our sex lives, the benefits of emotionally safe sex and how experiences from our childhood can affect our attachment style.     Are you ready to take the mystery out of having great relationships and to gain the knowledge you need to step confidently into the next level of your life? Dr. Morgan Anderson, gives you real talk on all things dating, relationships, and sex. Dr. Morgan is a relationship coach, psychologist and creator of the E.S.L relationship method. She brings humor, truth and knowledge to the complex world of dating and relationships.      Dr. Morgan's Podcast "Let's Get Vulnerable" will provide you with tangible strategies that you can implement immediately to improve your life and attract the exact relationship you desire. Episodes will feature expert advice from your host and psychologist, Dr. Morgan Anderson, interviews with incredible people offering you their stories and wisdom, and LIVE coaching sessions where you will have an exclusive glimpse into the growth process as it is unfolding.      Episodes are recorded in a live format to give you the feel of a live talk show; episodes are non-scripted and unedited. The content of the episodes is bound to make you laugh, cry, improve your relationships and go confidently after your dreams like never before. So what are you waiting for? Let’s Get Vulnerable.    In this episode, you will hear:     What is an attachment style?  How experiences from our childhood can affect our attachment style   Looking at repetition compulsion   Why people becoming more attracted to a person when they start to withdraw  Analysing the different types of attachment   How people can become avoidantly attached   Looking at disorganised attachment  How porn can be used as crutch to avoid vulnerability   Paying attention to our internal reactions   The benefits of emotionally safe sex   Looking at secure attachment   The role jealousy can play around these issues     Find Dr. Morgan Anderson online  https://www.drmorgancoaching.com     Sex Quix For Women  https://oasis2care.com/sexquiz/     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

1 Kesä 202131min

Welcome to episode 231 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Dr. Megan Stubbs to the podcast. In this episode, Megan talks to me about sex toys, the evolution of them over the years, how they can improve your sex life, and recommendations for the best ones to check out.     Holding degrees in Human Sexuality and Biology, Dr. Megan Stubbs is an energetic multi-media savvy Sexologist. She has been building a brand that has sexual wellness, education, and pleasure at the forefront. With her respective degrees, she is able to combine two of her favorite things, science and sex, into a cohesive platform to impact her audience. She offers presentations on a wide variety of topics ranging from positive body image to sexual assault prevention. She is mindful of inclusion and brings a sensitivity to ethnic diversity rooted in her own complex heritage.      Her programming is designed to entertain and educate with actionable steps and information the participants can use as soon as they leave. Her advice is frequently quoted in national media outlets, she writes for many online and print publications, appears on television, speaks on radio, and presents at public and private events. Her new book, Playing Without a Partner: A Singles' Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness, is available now.   In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at the history of sex toys  The evolution and changes to sex toys over the years  How sex was unknowingly used as treatment for women hundreds of years ago  The ways in which sex toys can improve your sex life  How sex toys can be an addition to your existing sex life  The ways in which sex toys can break sexual boredom   How couples can use sex toys together   Can sex toys become addictive?  Looking at health considerations when using sex toys   Using lubricant alongside sex toys   Good practices for using, cleaning and maintaining your sex toys  Looking at the rising popularity of CBD oils   Recommendations for good vibrators to check out     Find Dr. Megan Stubbs online  https://www.sexologistmegan.com     101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/subscribe/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

25 Touko 202131min

Welcome to episode 230 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome back Martha Kauppi, LMFT to the podcast. In this episode, Martha speaks to us about her new book, Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients), looking at consensual non-monogamy, examining common myths around polyamory, and the relationship and sexual dynamics of polyamory.     Martha Kauppi, LMFT, is an educator, AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, and AAMFT-approved supervisor. She specializes in relational sex therapy, including alternative family structures, and trains therapists to work effectively at the intersection of sex issues and relationship challenges.     Martha’s mission is to make sex a safe topic in therapy rooms everywhere by developing unique educational experiences and immediately applicable learning materials for therapists. She has a book coming out in August 2020 about working effectively with clinical challenges related to polyamory.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Martha became interested in writing her new book; Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients)  Looking at consensual non-monogamy   How people are more open to polyamory now than in previous years  Deconstructing the stigma attached to polyamory  Examining common myths around polyamory   Recommendations for people considering opening their relationship   Looking the relationship and sexual dynamics of polyamory   How misconceptions around polyamory lead to a fear of it   Looking at differentiation   How therapists can better understand these issues to know when it’s right to recommend polyamory     Find Martha Kauppi online  https://instituteforrelationalintimacy.com     101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/subscribe/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

18 Touko 202136min

Welcome to episode 229 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome back Alicia & Erwan Davon to the podcast. In this episode Alicia & Erwan speak to me about how can we cultivate sexual spark in our long-term relationships, flirt in a long-term relationship and discovering your sexual energy.     For over 25 years Erwan who was joined by Alicia in 2003 have been working successfully with singles and couples, teaching their signature process – the Davon Method to hundreds of students in groups, retreats, and individual sessions and helping them create the relationships of their dreams.     Erwan and Alicia have a unique approach to relationship coaching that combines their educational backgrounds in psychology and aspects of Zen Buddhism to provide a holistic method to effectively improve connection with the self and others.      Erwan studied psychology after a difficult childhood and an early introduction to therapeutic work. He went on to live and study in a Zen Monastery, direct a yoga ashram, and began teaching personal development at one of the world’s largest personal grown organizations. Erwan’s passion for helping and teaching people led him to found Erwan Davon Teachings in 1995, specifically to help people improve their relationships.     Alicia Davon holds a Master’s degree in Integral Psychology with a focus on women’s romantic and sensual expression. She trained as a therapist before meeting Erwan and led numerous women’s groups devoted to female pleasure and life fulfilment from career to relationship. She met Erwan 15 years ago and started teaching with him soon after.     Together, Erwan and Alicia developed The Pleasure Course, which has helped thousands achieve their ideal love lives. They provide a safe place to explore psychological inquiry, pleasure, and sexuality.     They have spent years perfecting their curriculum and techniques and are excited to share their expertise with newcomers so they can help improve chemistry, connection, communication, and passion in others’ lives!    In this episode, you will hear:     How can we cultivate sexual spark in our long-term relationships?  Learning to bring more sexual energy into your relationship   How we can de-prioritize sex in our relationships   Understanding the need to put aside time for sexual development   How you can flirt in a long-term relationship   Finding synergy between feminine and masculine energy   Discovering your sexual energy   Tapping into embodiment   How you can learn to lean into pleasure   The common mistakes couples make around these issues   How you can read in-between the sexual lines of your partner        The Pleasure Course https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-pleasure-course-unleash-your-relationship-potential-tickets-138473123841?aff=sexology Find Alicia & Erwan Online  https://erwandavon.com/consult     Listen to episode 210 with Find Alicia & Erwan Online    Giveaway  We have 5 copies of Dr Kerner’s new book to giveaway! To enter the competition and win a copy, simply subscribe to Sexology Podcast, write a review on iTunes, Stitcher etc and send a screenshot of the review to - https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast/.     Winners will be announced on our email newsletter on May 18th, 2021.      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

11 Touko 202138min