EP126 - My Wife Doesn't Want To Have Sex, What Should I Do?

Welcome to episode 47 of the Sexology Podcast, today I am delighted to be joined by Jeanette Tolson who talks to us about what constitutes consent, what might stop someone from reporting sexual assault and how can we create a culture of consent. Jeanette Tolson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor in New York.  She earned her Master’s in Social Work at SUNY Albany and completed a Postgraduate Certificate in Sex Therapy and Sexuality Education at the University of Michigan.   Prior to opening her private practice in 2015, she was the Executive Director for a not for profit community recovery organization.  Ms. Tolson currently has an academic appointment at SUNY Delhi and been teaching there continuously since 2009. Ms. Tolson has worked in a variety of outpatient settings. Her clinical interests include working with relationships from an attachment perspective, LGBTQ issues, recovery from infidelity, and substance use disorders. For more great content please check out Sexology Podcast Website   In this episode, you will hear:   What constitutes consent? How yes doesn’t mean yes all the time What is sexualized hostility? Why perpetrators find it arousing to terrorize their victim What might stop someone from reporting sexual assault The ways in which alcohol can affect these situations during and after the assault How can we create a culture of consent?   Resources https://jeanettetolsonlcsw.com https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

28 Marras 201739min

Welcome to episode 46 of the Sexology Podcast, today I am delighted to be joined by Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW who talks about the factors that contribute to a loss of passion, the differences between hook up sex, marital sex and making love and how intimacy tends to only be associated with sex.   Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW is an author and podcaster specializing in helping couples to create a true and authentic love story where they both feel secure and important. His thirty plus years as a therapist have given him a unique perspective on love and relationships.  The Couples Expert Podcast is produced weekly and has an international following on iTunes; currently with over 100,000 downloads and growing. The podcast brings Stuart together with experts from all over the world; in the field of love and relationships. In-depth and insightful discussions on all facets of adult relationships are addressed on The Couples Experts podcast. In addition to his Podcast, clinical and online work, Stuart also facilitates seminars and workshops employing emotionally-focused couples therapy; as well as intensive counseling weekends designed to help couples get to the heart of their struggles and find the answers they are seeking for a closer and more connected loving relationship. Stuart is available to speak on topics including: Surviving Infidelity and Rebuilding Trust Finding Love in Middle Age Having a Closer Connection with Your Partner § Sexuality and Monogamy Same-Sex Relationships Making Your Good Relationship Great   In this episode, you will hear: The factors that can contribute to a loss of passion How a couple’s sex language can be different and the importance for open communication The difficulty to connect when there’s unresolved emotions with our partners The differences between hook up sex, marital sex and making love Why people struggle with synchrony sex How intimacy tends to only be associated with sex   Resources http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/podcasts Email: Stuart@thecouplesexperts.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

21 Marras 201737min

Welcome to episode 45 of the Sexology Podcast, today I am delighted to be joined by Sara Sweetly. Sara shares her story of how she became interested and involved in this work, misconceptions that exist around fetishes and tips on how to have great phone sex.   Sara is a professional Dominatrix and phone sex operator who works primarily with clients in the fetish and kink community. Sara’s goal is to help her clients find a way to express their sexuality without restrictions or the unpleasant feeling of judgment. To Sara, helping her clients means helping them to find the sexual answers that could lead to a path of greater self-discovery and overall healthier relationships for them.   Sara believes that it is possible to uncover your true sexual capabilities and to experience the sex life that you are truly worthy of. She is the founder of the Must Love Fetish podcast, an educational sexuality podcast dedicated to exploring and finding ways to bridge the vanilla and kinky worlds. This interview-style podcast features a new fetish and guest every week – and explores the psychology behind fetishes in order to help people better understand what it is like to live with one.   Sara has been featured on numerous podcasts, including consensually speaking, sex + love with sexologist Randi Levinson, and now sexology podcast. She has been the guest on several live radio talk shows, including the Rob & Slim show – where she often busts the misconceptions about phone sex and sex work in a light-hearted manner. With a background in psychology, Sara is currently working towards her sex coaching certification and eventual Doctorate in Human Sexuality.   During her free time, she produces audiobooks and her voice can be heard on both Amazon Audible and iTunes. Sara likes to think of herself as a producer of aural pornography, and hopes to create a workshop in which she can teach couples the art of dirty talk in order to enhance their relationships. Sara is currently working on her first book “Aural Sex: The Art Of Dirty Talk as Foreplay.” (working title)    In this episode, you will hear:   How Sara became interested and involved in this work The common and uncommon fetishes Sara hears on the phone Misconceptions that exist around fetishes How this line of work has created a good business for Sara The types of role play Sara will participate in on the phone How many people like to be submissive in their phone calls Tips on how to have great phone sex   Resources https://mustlovefetish.com https://twitter.com/SaraSweetly   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

14 Marras 201744min

Welcome to episode 44 of the Sexology Podcast, today I am delighted to be joined by Elise Carr, M.A. who talks to us about understanding Tantra, the benefits of adopting a Tantric lifestyle and how you can use Tantra even if you’re not in a relationship. Elise Carr is the Woman behind StellaMuse, known as the ‘Pioneer of Yoni-Heart-Mind Power’ she mentors, councils and advises your journey of Awakening from Within through Sacred Guidance, Sacred Sexuality, Spirituality & Soul. With unwavering enthusiasm, fierce dedication and spirited insight, Elise guides inspirational and aspirational souls on a purpose driven, joy filled mission away from fear, dissatisfaction and illusion, and into courageous love and mental clarity; guiding them to a live life as their most authentic, nourished and unique selves. Elise is also a student of the Mysteries and a certified; Holistic Life/Health Coach, Tantra practitioner and Reiki Master, as well as a Writer, Speaker, Model and Artist. In this episode, you will hear: Understanding Tantra and what is sacred sexuality? How Elise began her journey into the world of Tantra What the practice of Tantra usually looks like How Tantra is a way of life and more than just sex The way in which Tantra can expand consciousness The overall benefits of adopting a Tantric lifestyle Learning to schedule time with your partner How you can use Tantra even if you’re not in a relationship Resources http://www.stellamuse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Marras 201737min

Welcome to episode 43 of the Sexology Podcast, today I am delighted to welcome back Dr. Lisa Wade. In this episode, we talk about the difference between sex and gender, external and internal factors that may influence gender identity and the double standards that exist in society when dealing with gender identity issues.   Lisa Wade is an associate professor of sociology at Occidental College. Her newest book, American Hookup, is about the emergence and character of the culture of sex that dominates college campuses today.   Before receiving her PhD in sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, Lisa earned an MA in human sexuality from NYU and a BA in philosophy from the University of California-Santa Barbara.   Lisa has authored over a dozen academic research articles and a textbook on the sociology of gender. She also actively contributes to media, writing extensively for non-academic audiences and appearing on television and radio.   In this episode, you will hear:   The difference between sex and gender Gender identity and sexual orientation – is there a relationship between them? External and internal factors that can influence gender identity What it means to identify as gender non-confirming The relationship between biological and societal factors that can affect our gender identity How societal intuitions of power try to keep the status quo to protect their own power Parenting and gender identity The double standards that exist in society when dealing with gender identity issues   Resources https://lisa-wade.com http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30231781-american-hookup email: lwade@oxy.edu   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

31 Loka 201731min

Welcome to episode 42 of the Sexology Podcast, my guest today is Dr. Anita Johnson. In this episode, Dr. Anita Johnson shares with us how to heal your relationship with your body and reclaim power of feminine energy.  Anita Johnston, Ph.D., is a Depth Psychologist and author of Eating in the Light of the Moon, which has been published in six languages. She is the co-creator of the online course, Light of the Moon Café which is an interactive “workbook” and women’s support circle for Eating in the Light of the Moon, and she is the author of a book chapters and other professional journal articles. She has been working in the field of women’s issues and disordered eating for over 35 years and is currently the Clinical Director of ‘Ai Pono Hawaii which has outpatient eating disorder programs in Honolulu, the Big Island of Hawaii, and a residential treatment program in Maui. Dr. Johnston provides individual consultations online, and conducts Soul Hunger workshops and professional trainings around the world, using metaphor and storytelling, along with her training as a clinical psychologist, to address the complex issues that underlie struggles with eating, weight, and body image. In this episode, you will hear: Why women today are dissatisfied with their image How feminine energy is connected to the earth Understanding your intuition and instinct The resonation people feel with her book “Eating In The Light Of The Moon” How food habits are linked to sexual desires and behaviours The power of feminine energy and the need to understand it better The need to have better support networks around ourselves   Resources www.DrAnitaJohnston.com www.LightoftheMoonCafe.com DrAJ1@aol.com Anita@LightoftheMoonCafe.com   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

24 Loka 201738min

Welcome to episode 41 of the Sexology Podcast. Today I am joined by Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz who talks to us about male sexual arousal, the common causes for sexual dysfunction and the pros and cons of using PED5 inhibitors.   Dr. Pomeranz is a licensed clinical psychologist and sex therapist with a practice in Silicon Valley. In addition to her private practice, she also works as a staff psychologist at Stanford University. Dr. Pomeranz earned her doctorate in clinical psychology in the Bay Area and has worked in a number of diverse settings, including the San Francisco jail, Salvation Army rehabilitation center, and UC Davis Medical System. She spent 9 years at the Boston VA, focusing on substance use disorders, sexual trauma, and out of control sexual behaviors.   Dr. Pomeranz recognizes the importance between sexual and emotional well-being and believes that not enough clinicians are talking with their clients about this important topic. In her private practice in Menlo Park she treats individuals who are struggling with a variety of sexual health concerns, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, desire discrepancy, genito-pelvic pain, female orgasmic disorder, penetration disorders, sexual trauma, gender/sexual identity, and alternative sexual lifestyles. In addition, Dr. Pomeranz treats substance use disorders and other addictive behaviors, including out-of-court sexual behaviors, utilizing a harm reduction model. Dr. Pomeranz is a member of AASECT and Bay Area Open Minds.   In this episode, you will hear:   Gender differences with sexual arousal Does penal erection hardness correspond to arousal? Common causes for sexual dysfunction in men What you can do as partner to help with erectile dysfunction The link and misconceptions around ageing and erectile dysfunction How certain medications can be harmful to people’s relationships The feelings of shame that can occur around this issue Ways in which you can approach and support your partner through this   Resources https://www.drpomeranz.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

17 Loka 201735min

Welcome to episode 40 of the Sexology Podcast, my guest today is Gigi Engle! In this episode, Gigi discusses why some sexual fantasies are common, and whether they should stay as fantasies or manifest into a reality!   Gigi Engle is a writer and sex educator. She was the head sex and dating writer for Elite Daily and Thrillist Media Group before launching a career in freelance writing and sex education. She's written and reported for a variety of magazines and websites including Cosmopolitan, Elle, Teen Vogue, Marie Claire, Glamour, Brides and many more.   Gigi teaches classes and workshops focused on sex ed basics like Vibrator 101 to Buttplugs for Beginners to feminist topics like Vulva Confidence and The Orgasm Gap. She is currently working on her first book, a feminist sex guidebook, with St. Martin's Press, an imprint of MacMillen. In this episode, you will hear: Where our sexual fantasies come from How you can learn more about your sexual template from fantasies Rape fantasies: why people have them Recommendations on what to share or not share with your partner when it comes to fantasies Why just because you have a fantasy, doesn’t mean you want it to happen Having good communication with your partner to avoid shame Making compromises with your partner for sexual fantasies How the media and pornography can form some of our fantasies For more great content please check out www.sexologypodcast.com   Resources http://missgigiengle.com http://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(15)30944-9/fulltext Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

10 Loka 201729min