Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

How can we find happiness even when times are challenging? Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar joins us to explore authentic happiness, accepting difficult emotions, and giving yourself permission to be human.  About our Guest: Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar is the bestselling author of six books, founder of the Happiness Studies Academy, and former professor of two of the largest courses in Harvard’s history. Learn more about his Certificate in Happiness Studies program here. Use the code HAPPY for a 10% discount.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 2:45: Unhappiness in spite of success. 4:15: How do you define happiness? 5:50: Combining self-actualization with in-the-moment happiness.  8:45: Accepting our painful emotions.  10:10: Giving ourselves permission to be human. 19:10: What did students learn in Tal’s courses that they didn’t expect?  22:30: How to make hard personal choices.  28:00: Authenticity and comparison.  30:15: Does pursuing happiness actually make you unhappy? 36:10: Creating lasting change.  40:10: Happiness as a business value-add.  43:00: Managing expectations.  46:00: The Happiness Studies Academy. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors: Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Syys 202052min

Today, we're exploring the single most important skill we will ever teach on this podcast: How to change the brain in lasting ways. The dirty secret of the personal growth industry, and self-help and psychology more broadly, is that most of what we learn doesn't stick. So, what can we do to achieve the ‘holy grail’ of personal growth – lasting change in our hearts, minds, and behaviors?  Rick's Course: If you'd like to learn more about how to change your brain for the better, check out Rick's Positive Neuroplasticity Training. It's a six-week online course that will teach you how to beat your brain's negativity bias, and have more confidence, compassion, and inner peace. Use coupon code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!  Key Topics: 3:30: What is neuroplasticity? 8:00: The power of deliberate practice.  9:30: Meditation and the brain.  12:45: Why is it so hard to change? The negativity bias.  19:45: Human exceptionalism and energy conservation.  23:00: An experiential example.  30:30: How to change deep-seated issues.  36:45: The Positive Neuroplasticity Training. 39:15: Changing self-concept to change behavior.  49:00: Participating in who you are becoming.  From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors: Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Syys 202057min

What are the consequences of growing up inside an abusive family, and what can we do as adults to heal old wounds? Today we're joined by Pete Walker, a practicing therapist and expert in Complex PTSD. About Our Guest: Pete is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area, who specializes in helping adults who were traumatized in childhood. He’s the author of three books, including Complex PTSD : From Surviving To Thriving. It’s a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life as an adult. Pete has a variety of resources on his website, including his 13 Steps of Emotional Flashback Management.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Timestamps: 3:00: What distinguishes CPTSD from PTSD? 5:55: CPTSD as “developmental trauma disorder” 8:55: Presence of the bad vs. absence of the good.  11:40: The importance of empathy.  13:35: “They’re crazy or I’m crazy,” and the consequences of that.  17:10: Healthy anger.  19:00: Becoming a support to yourself. 21:30: Stages of recovery. 25:00: Corrective emotional experiences.  27:30: The lifelong process of recovery.  32:10: Reparenting and the inner child.  34:45: Managing the relationship with our family of origin.  41:30: Forgiveness.  44:30: The inner critic and internalized abusers.  48:30: A message to your younger self.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Elo 202055min

What makes for a great team – whether personal or professional – and how can organizations and individuals create a more psychologically healthy environment?  Many of us have been fortunate enough to be on a really great team…and most all of us have probably been on a bad one. So, what makes for a great team – whether personal or professional – and is it as simple as just being good at your job, or is there more to it than that? It turns out one of the key factors is called psychological safety, which we'll be learning about today with the help of a world-class expert. About our Guest: Dr. Amy Edmondson is the Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School, where she studies teaming, psychological safety, and organizational learning. She’s the author of six books, including her most recent book, The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation and Growth.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 2:00: What is psychological safety? 7:15: How does psychological safety relate to personality? 11:45: Stress and high performance.  14:00: Me vs. We 17:30: Psychological safety vs. psychological abuse.  22:00: Creating a safe group environment. 27:00: Accepting responsibility. 31:30: Psychological safety in virtual environments. 34:00: Giving good feedback. 37:30: Just one thing.  41:30: A message to your younger self. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Elo 202046min

Sharon Salzberg, one of the most prominent teachers of mindfulness in the West, joins us to discuss how we can create real change in our hearts, minds, and lives.  About our Guest: Sharon Salzberg is a central figure in the field of meditation, a world-renowned teacher and NY Times bestselling author. Her 11th book, Real Change: Mindfulness to Heal Ourselves and the World, comes out September 1st. She's also the host of the fantastic Metta Hour podcast.  New Sponsor: Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Key Topics: 2:45: Sharon’s experience over the last few months. 4:30: Feeling the breath. 6:20: Sitting with painful feelings.  7:15: Turning toward the good, and metta. 10:15: “Mindfulness to change the world.” 13:30: Key skills from Real Change.  18:00: Dealing with burnout and overwhelm.  24:30: Grief. 28:00: Effective compassion vs. empathic overwhelm. 33:00: Generosity, and giving to fill your own cup.  36:00: Metta.  38:00: Kindness toward difficult people. 40:00: Doing what you can. 42:00: Patience, and putting wins on the board.  45:00: A message to your younger self. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Elo 202049min

In part two of our conversation, we explore some of the key psychological skills that lead to a truly great relationship informed by 35 years of couples counseling experience.  The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for a live, online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!  Key Skills: 3:00: Give your full attention.  6:30: Tune into your body.  7:20: Cultivate interest.  11:00: How can we know if we’re actually empathic? 13:00: Your attention is yours.  16:00: Accepting some level of discomfort.  17:45: Getting comfortable with people wanting things from you.  21:00: Three stories of relating. 22:30: Fulfilling relationship tasks.  24:30: Changing our relationship to criticism.  30:30: Chronic giving, and setting firm boundaries.  37:30: Cultivating a stronger sense of self.  44:30: Talk about what matters.  50:50: The desire to be found.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors: Want fresh, delicious, simple dinners delivered right to your doorstep? Check out HelloFresh, America’s #1 meal kit, and use code beingwell90 to get $90 off including free shipping!  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Elo 202058min

We all want great relationships - ones that are fulfilling, loving, stable, and fun. This is the first of two episodes focused on becoming a 'great relater.' Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest focus on understanding our individual attachment style, and how we can work through our personal material.  The Relationships Workshop: Join Rick for his online relationship workshop that will teach you how to have more fulfilling, effective, and joyful relationships than ever before. Follow the link to learn more, and podcast listeners can enter code BEWELL50 at checkout for $50 off the purchase price!  Key Topics: 0:25: Staying content while  striving for achievement.  4:00: Information on the relationship workshop.  6:20: Who helps you feel enlarged?  7:55: Rick makes fun of Forrest…and managing different levels of standard.  9:00: Building a good relator. 10:15: Attachment theory 17:00: Getting less attached to our attachment style.  19:15: Insecure attachment styles.  23:00: What issues does anxious attachment create? 26:00: A relationship between anxious and avoidant.  29:00: Skills for relating with an anxious person.  32:00: Finding optimal distance.  35:30: Working through a dreaded experience.  39:30: Exposure and blame.  From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Sponsors:  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Use code beingwell to let them know you came from us.  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Elo 202051min

In the second episode related to the pitfalls of self-help, we explore how individuals and environments can manipulate others by making them feel like something is wrong with them.  This is a self-help podcast. And there's a lot to like about self-help! But it has it's issues as well. Today we're exploring our exploration of those issues by focusing on painful forms of comparison and the natural vs. supernatural frame. Key Topics: 2:45: Being goal directed vs. self-acceptance.  6:50: Exploitative practices and the fragile psyche.  10:20: Relating to “problems” in healthy ways.  14:20: Comparison and creating a sense of lack.  16:30: Identifying good teachers and communities. 21:30: Comparison. 24:00: Separating means and ends.  26:00: How to deal with comparison.  30:30: How much do we actually control? 33:00: The Secret, and the natural vs. supernatural frames.  39:15: Cheapening the truly transcendent.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. From Dr. Hanson: Hardwire lasting change into your mind and heart in just a few minutes a day  with Dr. Rick Hanson's new program: Just One Minute. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  From our Sponsors  Reset and rebalance with Recess, a sparkling water infused with hemp extract and adaptogens. Take 15% off your first order by using code BEINGWELL at checkout. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Heinä 202051min