From IVF to Surrogacy: A 10-Year Journey to Parenthood - with Stuart O'Donnell

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode deals with discussions of in/fertility and/or baby loss.

In this deeply moving episode of In/Fertility in the City, Natalie and Somaya are joined by Stuart O’Donnell, who shares his and his wife’s ten-year journey through unexplained infertility, multiple rounds of IVF, pregnancy loss, and ultimately parenthood through UK surrogacy.

Stuart speaks candidly about the emotional and physical toll of fertility treatment, including ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, and a rare and distressing IVF lab accident. He also offers a powerful male perspective on infertility, grief, hope, and resilience — a voice that is still too often missing from these conversations.

The episode explores the realities of UK surrogacy law, the fears intended parents face, the generosity of altruistic surrogates, and why legal reform is urgently needed. Stuart also reflects on workplace support, praising Lloyds Banking Group for their progressive surrogacy and fertility policies, and shares what employers can do better to support staff navigating infertility.

This is a hopeful, honest, and necessary conversation about family-building, regulation, and the extraordinary power of compassion.

Topics Covered

• Ten years of trying to conceive with unexplained infertility
• IVF, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, and treatment trauma
• A rare IVF lab incident and the emotional impact
• Discovering surrogacy after infertility “end points”
• Altruistic surrogacy in the UK and legal realities
• Fear vs reality: can a surrogate “keep the baby”?
• Talking to children about surrogacy from birth
• Workplace policies, fertility leave & male mental health
• Why UK surrogacy law urgently needs reform

Key Takeaway

Surrogacy, when done ethically and supported properly, can be one of the most profound acts of altruism — but outdated laws and workplace policies still fail families at critical moments.

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About King’s Fertility (Sponsor):

One of London’s most respected IVF clinics, working with King’s College Hospital and King’s College London. King’s Fertility offers NHS and private patients world-leading research, advanced treatment, and compassionate care. Learn more at kingsfertility.co.uk

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