Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)
In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex8 Tammi

Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.


In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

  • What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
  • Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
  • How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
  • Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
  • Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
  • Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
  • Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
  • Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
  • Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
  • Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
  • Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
  • The brain as the biggest sex organ
  • Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
  • Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
  • Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
  • Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
  • Performative dominance vs authentic presence


Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈

Jaksot(103)

Casting Spells of Confidence: Witchcraft, Child-Free Living, and the Writer's Craft (ft. Sophie Saint Thomas)

Casting Spells of Confidence: Witchcraft, Child-Free Living, and the Writer's Craft (ft. Sophie Saint Thomas)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by the enchanting Sophie Saint Thomas, author of "Reproductive Rites: The Real-Life Witches and Witch-Hunts in the Centuries-Long Figh...

9 Helmi 202444min

Metamour Culture: Navigating Polyamory, Unicorn Hunting, and Relationship Breakups (ft. Gabrielle Alexa)

Metamour Culture: Navigating Polyamory, Unicorn Hunting, and Relationship Breakups (ft. Gabrielle Alexa)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Gabrielle Alexa, non monogamy educator and author of "How to Live With the Internet and Not Let it Run Your Life," joins us for a c...

2 Helmi 202448min

Vasectomies, Testosterone Boosts & ED Breakthroughs (ft. Dr. Jed Kaminetsky)

Vasectomies, Testosterone Boosts & ED Breakthroughs (ft. Dr. Jed Kaminetsky)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by the renowned urologist, Dr. Jed Kaminetsky. We kick things off with an in-depth look at vasectomies, uncovering the facts and dispe...

26 Tammi 202441min

Polyamory, veto power & wholesome sex parties (ft. @polyamorouswhileasian)

Polyamory, veto power & wholesome sex parties (ft. @polyamorouswhileasian)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by the badass Michelle Hy (@polyamorouswhileasian). We're flipping the script and tearing down the walls on polyamory, giving the midd...

19 Tammi 202448min

Bisexuality, throat-fucking & unique anal tips (ft. Zachary Zane)

Bisexuality, throat-fucking & unique anal tips (ft. Zachary Zane)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined once more by the fabulous Zachary Zane, we're diving deep into these taboo topics with humor, honesty, and a whole lot of sass. From b...

31 Joulu 202353min

WE WENT TO A SEX RESORT (ft. Zachary Zane)

WE WENT TO A SEX RESORT (ft. Zachary Zane)

In this episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Zachary Zane, sex columnist and author of Boyslut: a Memoir and Manifesto. Zach and I spill the tea and take you behind the scenes ...

22 Joulu 202340min

Welcome to In Bed With Alexa!

Welcome to In Bed With Alexa!

Welcome to the inaugural episode of "In Bed With Alexa," where I, your host Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa), open up about my personal journey with sexuality. From the realization of being bisexual to com...

16 Joulu 202332min

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