Self-Led in Bed, an IFS and Sexuality Podcast15 Tammi

23: IFS for Betrayal Trauma, with Jenna Riemersma

"So, the gift of self-leadership is not that all parts of us are going to be happy, it's that we're going to be able to wisely and accurately discern the next right step for us, and then stand into it and follow through without that backlash from the inner system." - Jenna Riemersma

Few experiences are as painful as having our trust betrayed by an intimate partner. Yet many people must navigate this common experience and the many activated parts that emerge. Those who engage in sexual behavior that falls outside of relationship agreements also often suffer with feelings of shamefulness, guilt, and regret.

In this episode Patty talks to Jenna Riemersma, a leading authority in integrating IFS with compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal trauma treatment. As a Certified IFS Therapist, Clinical Consultant and CSAT Supervisor, she brings over a decade of specialized expertise to this critical therapeutic intersection. She is also the best-selling author of several books including IFS Integration (a re-release of Altogether Us in which I authored a chapter on Self-Led Sexuality) and Move Toward, which offers a shorthand approach to IFS which we practice through a demo later in our conversation.

We explore the "hungry heart" behind compulsions, shame's pervasive grip on sexuality, the inner warring of parts in sexual dilemmas, and compatibility between addiction models and IFS. Jenna introduces her accessible "Move Toward" tool—Notice, Know, Need —for quick unblending.

This episode offers practical tools for Self-Led intimacy, reminding us that quick witnessing can bring calm, clarity, and connection amid sexual triggers or relational challenges. Whether you relate to this topic personally, professionally, or both, I know you will learn a lot from Jenna’s wise and reassuring presence.

Connect with Jenna:

MoveToward.com

JennaRiemersma.coM

Book IFS Integration: A Comprehensive Guide to Applying Internal Family Systems Across Modalities, Populations, and Clinical Presentations

Book Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy

Book Move Toward

Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/

Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich

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34: Voices in my Bed: Trauma, Psychosis and IFS, with Stephanie Mitchell

Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of psychosis, non-ordinary states, sexual trauma, transference, and adult sexuality. Listener discretion is advised."I think full healing comes to a place...

28 Heinä 1h 14min

33: Somatic IFS for Sexual Healing and Pleasure, with LaDonna Silva

“Can I bring breath to that excitement and bring myself back into the body, holding some of that excited energy and actually letting my system slow down so I can cherish that moment?” LaDonna SilvaDis...

10 Heinä 1h 16min

32: Healing from Purity Culture through IFS, with Forest Benedict

“Using IFS to heal my fear of hell…that was profound" - Forest BenedictDisclaimer: This episode contains explicit discussions of religious trauma, purity culture, sexual shame, and adult sexuality. Li...

25 Kesä 54min

31: BDSM Through an IFS Lens, with Leonore Tjia

“I can be any part in this, any role in this. I'm both the writer, the producer, the director of this erotic theatrical experience my psyche is creating." Leonore TjiaDisclaimer: This episode contains...

28 Touko 1h 23min

30: Sexorcism: IFS and Unattached Burdens with Robert Falconer

"These things look like great, big, horrifying monsters, but actually they're really terrified small beings. Think about it for a minute. They're making their existence as a parasite, an unwanted inh...

14 Touko 1h 20min

29: Exposing My Parts, with Host Patricia Rich

In this special solo episode, host Patricia Rich celebrates her birthday, which coincides with Earth Day, by choosing to expose her parts…sharing more about her own internal system and inviting listen...

30 Huhti 35min

28: Demonstration of IFS for Sexuality and Gender Healing, with Chelsea Odhner

Disclaimer: This episode includes explicit personal conversations about sexuality, gender identity, and religious trauma. Listener discretion is advised.In this episode Patty talks with Chelsea Rose O...

6 Huhti 1h 3min

27: The Penis Speaks: Decoding Male Sexual Dysfunction, with Dan Watter

“...our unconscious will speak to us through our penis and self-protectively disrupt a sexual interaction due to some perceived danger or threat.” - Daniel Watter in The Existential Importance of th...

12 Maalis 1h 21min