27. Pornography and Your Kids: The No Shame Approach with Sara Brewer

Welcome back!! Melissa here, today is going to be a good one! I want to give you a warning before you hit play, if you have little ears around you may want to pop in your headphones. We don't talk about anything graphic or crass but we will be having an honest conversation about pornography more suited for parents.

Let's jump in!

Recently I learned that in today's digital world with increasing access to the internet the average child will see porn by their 11th birthday. That really puts things in perspective for us as parents. This shouldn't be a topic we put on the shelf until our kids are older or wait for the schools to start to teach sex ed.

Today we have an awesome conversation with guest Sara Brewer! Sara is a life coach that helps people quit porn forever with a shame-free and sex-positive approach. As parents we tend to either live in fear that one day our child is going to tell us they've seen porn or we push away the idea in hopes that it will work out on it's own. Sara explains her view on porn and how taking away the scary and damaging outlooks can not only bring you peace, but also prepare you for the inevitable day your child comes to you with questions.

Sara talks about the importance of separating someone's behavior from their identity, and how to stay away from placing fear or shame on your child so that you can have honest and open communication with them. We have an open discussion about when your child is most likely to see porn, steps you can take to help them learn instead of hide, and even how to help kids who have been dealing with these urges already.

Listen in as Sara has some amazing tips about fielding questions, educating our children in a sex-positive way, and also how to work through the emotions that come up with both you and your kid when dealing with pornography. As parents we aren't perfect, and there are times that we will mess up but if we take it one step at a time and give ourselves grace then we can easily help our kids navigate through a digital age.

To find resources mentioned in this episode or to connect with Sara check out the links below!

More of What We Talk About:

• Porn from a different perspective
• Taking away shame to get to the root of the issue
• The average age of kids who see porn for the first time
• Working through your own fear to help your kid the best you can
• The stigma around sexuality
• Preparing your kid to handle the effect of porn
• What to do if your child tells you they've seen porn
• Creating trust so your kids know they can come and talk to you
• Offering a safe place for your teenagers to learn about healthy sex
• Teaching consent at a young age
• How you can help your kid deal with urges
• Changing the language to take away shame
• The different levels of porn addiction
• Giving yourself grace as a parent
• And much more!

LINKS:

• Article: The Naked People In Your iPod
• Book: Good Pictures And Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids
• Insta: Meg - Shame Free Chastity
• Insta: Kristin B. Hodson
• Website: sarabrewer.com
• Insta: Sara Brewer Coaching

Website:

familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
  YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter:https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:41 Welcome Sara!
• 1:00 How Sara and Melissa
• 1:34 Get to know Sara
• 4:03 The effects of porn
• 7:09 How parents should respond to porn
• 11:27 How to prepare your kids if/when they see porn
• 15:41 Creating a safe culture in your home
• 21:21 Be willing to be uncomfortable
• 22:15 Sara's FAQ
• 25:25 Why Sara doesn't use the word "addiction"
• 28:18 Sara's advice to parents