216. Becoming a Peacemaker – Finding Peace Within and Around You

Hey Family Brand! It's Melissa here, and today, I'm bringing you a different kind of episode—one that I wasn't expecting to record, but I know it's exactly the conversation I need to have right now. My word for the year is 'maker,' and while I've spent time thinking about all the ways I want to create—being a homemaker, a moneymaker, a creator—it never occurred to me to focus on being a peacemaker. That changed recently when our family was asked to speak in church, and I was assigned Matthew 5:9: 'Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.' That moment set me on a journey to rethink what it really means to make peace—not just between people, but inside ourselves.

When I first thought about peacemaking, I imagined it in the traditional sense—helping my kids resolve arguments, keeping peace in relationships, and fostering harmony within my family. But as I reflected more, I realized that being a peacemaker starts internally. How do we create peace within ourselves so that we have peace to give? It's easy to think of peace as something external, but when we aren't centered, it's hard to extend calm to others.

One of the biggest takeaways from this reflection was learning how to recognize and manage my own emotional state. I shared a tool from a past podcast episode with parenting coach Crystal Heitzma, who teaches about recognizing when we are in our "green zone" (calm and regulated), "yellow zone" (feeling dysregulated), or "red zone" (fully overwhelmed). Learning to catch ourselves in that yellow zone before we spiral is a game-changer in protecting our peace. I've taught this to my kids, and it's been powerful for all of us.

I also talk about the mental chatter that often steals our peace—self-doubt, parenting guilt, or insecurities that creep in daily. When we get intentional about quieting those voices and replacing them with truth, we reclaim our inner peace. For me, faith is a huge part of that. I find peace in Christ, and reminding myself of who I am in His eyes helps me stay grounded. Our family also uses personal declarations—statements of who we are and who we are becoming—which are so powerful in silencing negativity.

So here's my challenge to you: Take a moment this week to ask yourself, How can I create more peace in my life? Whether it's in your emotions, your thoughts, or your relationships, being a peacemaker starts within. And when we cultivate peace inside, it naturally flows into the lives of those around us.

LINKS:

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Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:00 – A different kind of episode today
• 1:30 – The unexpected lesson from my word of the year
• 3:00 – What does it really mean to be a peacemaker?
• 5:00 – Recognizing when we lose our inner peace
• 7:30 – Managing emotional regulation (Green, Yellow, Red zones)
• 10:00 – The mental chatter that steals our peace
• 12:00 – Finding peace in faith and truth
• 14:00 – Challenge: How can you become a peacemaker in your own life?
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