#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)
On Attachment29 Tammi

#228: When You Want More Words of Affirmation — But Don’t Want to Ask (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about wanting more words of affirmation from a partner — but not wanting to feel like you're constantly asking for it.

This is a really common tension, especially for people with anxious attachment. On one hand, words of affirmation genuinely matter. On the other, asking for them can feel exposing, needy, or like you’re trying to force something that should come naturally.

In this episode, I unpack why this dynamic is rarely about someone “withholding” affection, and how the way we ask (or don’t ask) can either make it feel safer or riskier for our partner to express verbally.

Rather than offering scripts or communication hacks, this conversation focuses on the deeper relational pieces that often get missed — including how we receive affirmation, how defensiveness shuts down vulnerability, and what it means to take responsibility for your needs without self-abandoning.

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#248: How to Cope With My Ex Being Happy in a New Relationship (Ask Steph)

#248: How to Cope With My Ex Being Happy in a New Relationship (Ask Steph)

In today’s Ask Steph episode, we’re talking about how to cope when your ex seems to have moved on soon after your break-up — and is now in a new relationship that appears to be working.This can be an ...

9 Huhti 11min

#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?

#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship?When y...

7 Huhti 14min

#246: When Is It a Good Idea to Be Friends with an Ex? (Ask Steph)

#246: When Is It a Good Idea to Be Friends with an Ex? (Ask Steph)

In today’s Ask Steph episode, we’re exploring a common question: is it ever a good idea to be friends with an ex?While staying connected can sometimes feel comforting after a breakup, it’s not always ...

2 Huhti 8min

#245: Should Anxiously Attached People Just Avoid Avoidants?

#245: Should Anxiously Attached People Just Avoid Avoidants?

In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why I don’t give the common advice for anxiously attached people to simply avoid avoidant partners.While it might seem like a straightforward way to protect yourself ...

31 Maalis 10min

#244: I Healed My Anxious Attachment… So Why Don’t I Want a Relationship Anymore? (Ask Steph)

#244: I Healed My Anxious Attachment… So Why Don’t I Want a Relationship Anymore? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m responding to a question I hear more often than you might expect. Someone has done a lot of work on their anxious attachment patterns, they feel more grounded and secure...

26 Maalis 7min

#243: How to Create Healthy, Balanced Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab

#243: How to Create Healthy, Balanced Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab

In this episode, I’m joined by therapist, bestselling author, and boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab for a powerful conversation on what it really means to have healthy dependency in our relationsh...

24 Maalis 43min

#242: When Does Self-Improvement Become Self-Sabotage? (Ask Steph)

#242: When Does Self-Improvement Become Self-Sabotage? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about the fine line between personal growth and the endless pursuit of self-improvement.While healing, reflection, and growth are powerful t...

19 Maalis 6min

#241: How to Date from Self-Worth

#241: How to Date from Self-Worth

Modern dating can be tough. Between apps, ghosting, and the uncertainty that often comes with meeting strangers outside our social circles, the whole process can be seriously activating — and all the ...

17 Maalis 17min

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