66: GUEST | Stop Waiting to Be Chosen with Fanny Tristan

Being single isn’t a waiting room. It’s the classroom. The mirror. The runway. The f*cking launchpad.

In this richly layered episode, I'm joined by Fanny Tristan, trauma-informed LCSW turned coach and founder of Her Soul Supply, to unpack the emotional gymnastics so many women perform in the pursuit of being chosen by a partner, by their family, by society.

We talk love, loneliness, lifestyle design, and what happens when women stop outsourcing worth and start reclaiming their voice. From navigating breakups and identity shifts to dismantling systems that tell women they’re “too much” or “too late,” this conversation is a full-body permission slip to rewrite your story on your terms.

If you’ve ever felt behind, unworthy, or like you needed to shrink to fit the timeline... this episode is for you.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk SHIFT About:

00:01 – Meet Fanny

04:10 – The loneliness epidemic post-2020 + rebuilding real community

07:50 – Brunch, boundaries, and the awkwardness of adult friendships

10:35 – The myth of “having it all” by 30 and how timelines betray us

13:00 – How systemic oppression shapes self-worth for women of color

15:45 – Building identity outside of partnership and parenthood

21:00 – Singlehood as a goldmine for growth, not a failure to fix

27:15 – Parts work, projection, and how we misread each other

30:00 – The mom-friend vs single-friend divide: how we lose each other

33:00 – Letting people love all your identities—and asking for what you need

36:15 – The rebellion vs self-preservation dilemma (hello, plastic surgery guilt)

39:40 – Pleasure, sex, and the myth that motherhood = martyrdom

42:10 – Why we pedestal romantic love—and what that costs us

46:00 – Self-abandonment, chosen-ness, and not lowering your damn standards

50:20 – The SHIFT framework in action for single women feeling “behind”

58:15 – Walking the walk vs memorizing the infographics

60:30 – Transformation doesn’t have to be a whole damn identity shift

63:00 – Therapy vs Coaching: where they overlap and where they divide

67:00 – Fanny’s final message: freedom is a value, not a milestone

🧠 Connect with Fanny Tristan + Her Soul Supply

🌐 Her Soul Supply Website

📲 Instagram — @fanny.tristan

💥 Want to Build a Life That’s Not Waiting on Anyone?

Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, SHIFT is here to help you stop performing and start aligning.

🔥 Join SHIFT Live

📞 Book a Clarity Call