Behind the mask

Listener note: We want to let listeners know that this episode includes discussion of trauma, suicidal ideation, and mental health crisis. Please listen in a way that feels supportive for you.

In this episode, Catherine Asta is joined by Brian Haines for a deeply reflective conversation about the often-unseen mental health crises faced by late-diagnosed autistic adults, accumulated trauma, and the life-changing power of creativity - offering hope for anyone feeling unheard or misunderstood.

Diagnosed as autistic at 61, Brian shares how his NHS diagnosis brought clarity to a lifetime of feeling “peculiar,” marginalised, and out of step with the social world. What followed was not relief, but a period of profound unravelling - burnout, mental health crisis, and standing, as he describes it, at the edge of the abyss.

From that darkness, poetry emerged.

Brian speaks openly about how writing became his emotional scaffolding when formal therapeutic support fell short - a way to structure overwhelming thoughts, process rage and loneliness, and give voice to what had long been hidden behind the mask. For someone who struggles with the spontaneity of social communication, poetry offers rhythm, certainty, and a space where his words can finally be heard, at his pace.

Together they explore masking, marginalisation, suicidal ideation, autistic burnout, and the vulnerability of sharing creative work in a world that has not always felt safe. Brian reflects on isolation and the “crevasse” of autistic loneliness, and how creative expression - through poems such as Behind the Mask - has slowly built belonging, connection, and community.

Brian also shares practical, gentle steps on how to begin your own creative journey, or support someone you care for, and why simply creating for yourself is enough to start. It’s a powerful episode about voice, survival, and the courage to step out from behind the mask - a reminder that creativity can become both scaffold and bridge to belonging.

Autism Central

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