S1, Episode 12: "An Imperfect Machine" By Miriam Gordon

Dear Diary,

Welcome to "The Indigo Diaries." Join host Natasha Hickling as she interviews the first guest of 2021, Miriam Gordon, in the twelfth diary entry of the series.

Miriam Levy Gordon was born in 1963 to highly traumatized parents. Because they were narcissists, they couldn’t allow Miriam to develop at all. She grew up in a small apartment in Fort Lee, New Jersey, USA as a shadow of herself, in pure survival mode, completely out of touch with her soul. While in high school she began having bloody screaming fits in which she cried, tore her hair out, and banged her head against the wall. She knew something fundamental about her life was very wrong, but had no idea what. When she was 17 she began to threaten to kill herself, which motivated her parents to send her to therapy. Forty years later, she continues to be in therapy. She’s accomplished a lot despite this, including a Ph.D. in Developmental and Molecular Biology from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx, New York, USA (2001). Miraculously, she has been married for almost 22 years to a man who also grew up in a highly abusive household. Miriam and Steven met in graduate school. Despite their highly toxic, co-dependent relationship, they endured many difficult years together, but they also grew together. Miriam is 9 years older than Steven, proving that age is just a number. For many years, Miriam thought she would never get married, even though she always maintained a tiny kernel of hope inside. She finally married Steven when she was 36 years old. The couple were able to go on some very nice vacations together which tremendously helped to improve the quality of their relationship.

Miriam received a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD when she was 49 years old. Getting the diagnosis was a relief in that it explained in retrospect a lot of the difficulty she had in life. She currently lives with Steven and their adorable white poodle (Miriam’s first dog ever), Snowy, in a single-family home (Miriam and Steven’s first house that they own) in West Hempstead, New York, USA, on the south shore of Long Island. Miriam is unable to work in any sort of neurotypical environment, so she continues her life’s work in therapy and to research and write about everything she’s learned about her life experiences in her journal, which she hopes to develop into published writing at some point. Her ultimate goal is to be able to share her life experiences with others who are or have been experiencing the great misfortunes that she has, in the hopes of helping them learn about themselves, assuring them that they are not alone, and that there is help and hope along the long, arduous journey out of the abyss.

We hope you enjoy this truly inspiring episode and it creates awareness for so many listeners!

Have a great week ahead!

Until next time...

The Indigo Diaries

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