Episode 76: Josh Mikael — Truth, Trauma, and Why Not Everyone Deserves Your Story

Episode 76: Josh Mikael — Truth, Trauma, and Why Not Everyone Deserves Your Story


In this raw and deeply personal episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with one of his closest friends and former roommate, Josh Mikael, for a conversation that spans decades of history, hard truths, and unconditional love.


Josh shares his fisting origin story—one that began earlier than most—and reflects on it now with the clarity that only time and experience can bring. What starts as a wild, chaotic introduction quickly evolves into a broader conversation about consent, growth, and the reality that not every formative experience is meant to be repeated.


The two revisit the night they first met at a Leatherworks Red Hanky social in Fort Lauderdale, a moment that would lead to a lasting bond, a blown-out set of tires, and a friendship built through shared experiences, tension, and ultimately, understanding.


The heart of the episode centers on Deeper—Ryan’s memoir—and Josh’s decision to write the foreword. He explains why he felt it had to be him: someone who has loved Ryan, challenged him, called him out, and never wanted anything from him in return. The result is a foreword that doesn’t protect, doesn’t condemn, but instead tells the truth.


Together, they unpack addiction, the ripple effects it has on the people around you, and the complicated reality of loving someone who is struggling. They also dive into content culture, performer value, and why Josh drew a hard line when others didn’t—refusing to give away his image for free in an industry that often expects it.


This episode is funny, painful, reflective, and honest in a way that’s rare. It’s about friendship, accountability, survival—and the idea that telling your story might be the first step toward understanding it.



📖 Pre-order Deeper: http://www.hungerff.com/deeper

🔥 Signed & Numbered Hardcover Editions AVAILABLE NOW — EXCLUSIVELY on HungerFF.com

Only 30 copies per cover — expected to sell out fast


👕 Shop the shirt from this episode:

https://hungerff.threadless.com/designs/alpha-bottom-energy-power-pride-pleasure



🎧 LISTEN NOW (Spotify — Early Video Access):

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse


🎧 Listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3uJBareUPFci58BJ0NtwtoIOKKuaaBIa

🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/Brolapse (Early video access for Spotify subscribers!)

🍏 Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/408WLLX

📻 Amazon & Audible: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/57bbf689-250a-4c96-8559-0a79805f18b6/hungerff-presents-brolapse

📻 iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-hungerff-presents-brolapse-290151273


🕗 New episodes every Friday at 8 PM


Jaksot(81)

Episode 80:COVID to Confidence: PeteLDNFF on Growth, Grit & Letting Go

Episode 80:COVID to Confidence: PeteLDNFF on Growth, Grit & Letting Go

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with UK creator PeteLDNFF for a conversation that goes way deeper than you’d expect.What starts as a story about discovering fisting turns into something mu...

28 Maalis 28min

Episode 79: Inside the Fist Council: Community, Safety & the Future of Fisting

Episode 79: Inside the Fist Council: Community, Safety & the Future of Fisting

This week on Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Sofftpaw for a conversation that goes far beyond a typical guest interview.Sofftpaw is the founder of the Fist Council — a nationwide forum made up of ...

21 Maalis 50min

Episode 78: Gaping Femboy Energy: Pup Davey on Fisting, Puppy Play, Gender Fluidity & Kink Culture

Episode 78: Gaping Femboy Energy: Pup Davey on Fisting, Puppy Play, Gender Fluidity & Kink Culture

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Belgian creator Pup Davey for one of the most wide-ranging and honest conversations the show has had yet.Davey opens up about discover...

14 Maalis 38min

Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

Episode 77: From Addiction Counselor to Fisting Top: Grayson Howell on Confidence, Kink, and Chicago’s Scene

In Episode 77 of Brolapse, Ryan James (HungerFF) sits down with Chicago-based creator Grayson Howell to talk about the unexpected path that led him into content creation, kink culture, and the world o...

7 Maalis 32min

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

Episode 75: From First Fist to Full Confidence: Ian Greene on Growth, Boundaries & Trusting Your Body

This week on Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with Ian Greene for a long-overdue conversation that spans years of crossing paths, shared experiences, and personal evolution.Ian opens up about his fisting ...

21 Helmi 18min

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

Episode 74: John Thomas — Fantasy, Responsibility, and the Reality Behind the Scene

In Episode 74 of Brolapse, HungerFF sits down with ⁠John Thomas⁠ for a conversation that goes far beyond the surface of porn.John opens up about his fisting origin story, growing up with religion, gui...

14 Helmi 47min

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

Episode 73: Wyld Ryder: Becoming the Pig You Are

In this episode of Brolapse, Ryan James sits down with Chicago-based creator Wyld Ryder for a candid conversation about confidence, kink, and the slow burn of becoming fully yourself.Wyld opens up abo...

7 Helmi 28min

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