Fight Without Fighting: How to Build Real Intimacy

Fight Without Fighting: How to Build Real Intimacy

Most of us were never taught how to communicate in relationships. So we react. We defend. We assume. We build resentment. In this solo episode, John reframes “communication” as something deeper: intimacy, attunement, and repair. Because it’s not the conflict that destroys relationships — it’s the lack of repair. John breaks down how to “fight without fighting,” including: • Trying to understand before trying to be understood • Naming your activation instead of attacking • Taking ownership to create repair • Setting intentional time to practice connection • Using I statements and watching tone • Using touch and body language to soften conflict • Listening while considering your partner’s story Healthy intimacy isn’t chemistry. It’s skill. And every conflict is a chance to break a pattern — or repeat one. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Jaksot(1104)

What the darkness taught me about God

What the darkness taught me about God

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two d...

31 Elo 25min

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

Why do we remain stuck in the same patterns, compare ourselves to our partner’s past, or wait for an ex to give us closure? In Episode 26 of Therapy Thursdays, John answers your most personal quest...

27 Elo 17min

How We Sabotage Ourselves

How We Sabotage Ourselves

I’m breaking down the biggest ways I think we sabotage our own healing, relationships, and lives. This conversation came from a post that resonated with millions of people and grew into a series becau...

26 Elo 20min

10 Questions About Love

10 Questions About Love

What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, an...

24 Elo 23min

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

What is the difference between loving someone and becoming obsessed with them? In this episode, I explore how love can slowly turn into fixation, fantasy, and emotional dependency, and why so many of ...

19 Elo 38min

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too. I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most ...

17 Elo 23min

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, I’m answering the relationship and personal-growth questions we often think about but don’t always know how to ask. What does an emotionally safe relationship act...

13 Elo 15min

When Enough Is Finally Enough: What It Means to Live a Meaningful Life with Buddy Wakefield

When Enough Is Finally Enough: What It Means to Live a Meaningful Life with Buddy Wakefield

When is enough enough? What if the life you're chasing is based on someone else's definition of success? In this conversation, John Kim and Buddy Wakefield explore the difference between going wide a...

12 Elo 29min

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