Matrescence: Why So Many Mothers Feel Like They’re Losing Themselves

This is a DAM Parenting archive episode recorded two years ago, brought back because the conversation around matrescence and identity in motherhood is still so relevant today.

So many of us assume that once we’ve heard the term matrescence, the conversation is done. That everyone understands it. That we’ve already said enough.

But the reality is that motherhood continues to reshape us in ways that are rarely spoken about openly.

The emotional shifts.
The identity changes.
The quiet moments of wondering who we are now.

These conversations can easily disappear beneath the daily demands of parenting, which is exactly why they need to be revisited again and again.

This episode is a reminder that the transformation of becoming a mother isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s an ongoing experience many of us are still navigating.

So if this topic resonated in Wednesday’s episode on matrescence, this follow-up from the archives is a powerful continuation of that conversation.

Because sometimes the most important conversations in motherhood are the ones we need to keep bringing back into the light.

In this episode, you’ll hear from Ilena Standring, a doula based in Amsterdam, whose work beautifully reflects the heart of matrescence — the profound emotional, psychological, and identity transformation that happens when we become mothers. Ilena doesn’t simply support women through pregnancy and birth; she holds space for the deeper transition into motherhood that continues long after a baby arrives. Her perspective is grounded in the belief that women deserve to understand what is happening to them during this powerful life shift. Through her work as a doula and guide in the motherhood journey, Ilena helps women recognise that matrescence is not something to struggle through alone, but a transformation they can learn to navigate, honour, and ultimately flourish within.