SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

#405 - Squicks or Turn-Ons?

#405 - Squicks or Turn-Ons?

We've all been faced with a situation where we've come across an action, a thing, a vision, a taste, a touch, a smell, a scene, where we've experienced an unexpected and extreme aversion… a squick, or… perhaps it was a surprise turn-on. Tyler, Lunabelle, Ryan, Ginger, Tonya, Tonia, and Dylan get together to talk about these unexpected reactions and tell some stories… some sexy, strange, surprising stories.   You can find Lunabelle on BlueSky at @Ninjasexology! You can find Ryan on Instagram at RyanAKAProf! You can find Ginger on Instagram at GingerBentham! You can find Tonia on Instagram at ToniaTheThomas! You can find Tonya everywhere (Facebook, Instagram, Discord, Facebook, and more) at YesThatTonya! You can find Dylan on Mastodon and all across the Fediverse at swingset.social at DylanTheThomas!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Intro Music: Sullivan King & Vastive – Slaughter Outro Music: Sullivan King – The Beginning

27 Marras 20241h 30min

#403: User Manual, or Dungeon Crawl? What's Your Preference?

#403: User Manual, or Dungeon Crawl? What's Your Preference?

Are you the kind of person that prefers to meet someone new knowing a little something about them, or do you treat meeting new people like it's a video game dungeon crawl with no map, no instructions, nothing but a flashlight and a can-do attitude? Duncan, Ryan, Ginger, Tonya, Tonia, and Dylan get together to talk about meeting new people in social settings, first dates, play parties, and everything in between!   You can find Duncan as Duncan42 on Kasidie, Fetlife, and as NewToThis42 on SLS! You can find Ryan on Instagram at RyanAKAProf! You can find Ginger on Instagram at GingerBentham! You can find Tonia on Instagram at ToniaTheThomas! You can find Tonya everywhere (Facebook, Instagram, Discord, Facebook, and more) at YesThatTonya! You can find Dylan on Mastodon and all across the Fediverse at swingset.social at DylanTheThomas!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Intro & Outro Music: Dirtyphonics & Circadian – You Want Me Robot Ginger Music: Robotaki – Automaton Business Music: Matroda – Shut It Down

18 Marras 20241h 16min

#402 - More Than Two, Second Edition - With Andrea Zanin and Eve Rickert

#402 - More Than Two, Second Edition - With Andrea Zanin and Eve Rickert

Ginger and Dylan interview Andrea Zanin and Eve Rickert about the release of their new book: More Than Two, Second Edition! They touch on More Than Two, Second Edition's place as both an introduction for people new to open relationships, and as a deeply needed and timely reintroduction to improving relationships for more experienced practitioners of various forms of nonmonogamy.   You can find More Than Two, Second Edition, at morethantwo.ca! You can find Eve Rickert on Bluesky, Instagram, and at brighterthansunflowers.com! You can find Andrea Zanin on Twitter, Bluesky, Facebook, and at sexgeek.workpress.com!     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Intro & Interstitial Music: Shingo Nakamura, Mango, Nina Carr – Solace

1 Marras 20241h 36min

#401 - Kissing is Taboo Again? - Elevator Speeches & Safety

#401 - Kissing is Taboo Again? - Elevator Speeches & Safety

How did kissing become so complicated... again? Swinger culture still features a choice, to kiss or not to kiss, that other non-monogamous folk don't usually make. These days, the stakes around kissing are higher, and that's complicated things as simple as kissing to say hello . Ginger, Prof, Tonia, Dylan, Lunabelle, Tonya, and Tyler get together to talk about their Elevator Speeches, and whether kissing is taboo again!     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

24 Joulu 20231h 6min

#400 - ReEmergence

#400 - ReEmergence

Dylan, Ginger, Tonia, and Prof get back together to properly toast Life on the Swingset's 400th episode! The crew invites back Lunabelle, Tyler, and Tonya, and welcomes D into the fold to discuss ReEmergence and discovering intimacy… again. The crew discusses what returning to normal might look like during a time … very much not normal. D, and Lunabelle share what emerging and finding their people and their communities in the midst of the pandemic feels like, while Tyler and Tonya talk about finding their way just before, and during the pandemic. Gin, Prof, Tonia, and Dylan talk about change, allowing for space, and everyone looks forward to charting a future full of friends, community, and pleasure. Also, Prof talks about VR Golf, which was the most important part of the episode.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Intro Music: F.O.O.L – Duality Business Music: Tokyo Machine – STEREO Outro Music: Aftruu – Falling Asleep

3 Joulu 20231h 4min

SS 399: We Go Meta on Swinging and Making the Sausage... and talk Sex Toys - from Friday Night Delights from February 5th, 2021

SS 399: We Go Meta on Swinging and Making the Sausage... and talk Sex Toys - from Friday Night Delights from February 5th, 2021

Ginger, Prof, Tonia, and Dylan get together on a normal Friday in February 2021 to plan a podcast about swinging… and almost fall into the trap of talking about swinging. Swingset gets meta, discussing swinging as a verb, swinger as a noun, new england accents, and …talking about Sportsheets and sex toys and restraints. a lot.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!     Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Intro and Outro Music: ARMNHMR feat. Heleen – Drowning

1 Syys 20231h 14min

SS 398: Swingset as a Place... with Princess Vi

SS 398: Swingset as a Place... with Princess Vi

Princess Vi and I talk about what it means to build pop-up inclusive, welcoming, and sex friendly communities, and we wander about discussing what goes into that secret sauce… and what it feels like when you get it right, and … when you don't have it. *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   SHIP (Sexual Health Includes Pleasure) is running their Pleasure Equity Campaign, an annual initiative to raise funds to reduce barriers to pleasure-guided sexual health resources so that all adults can reclaim pleasure in their daily lives and by using those resources as tools for healing, self-preservation, and resistance. Every donation SHIP receives through this campaign allows them to offer workshops, therapy, and professional development opportunities to the community for free or at a significantly reduced rate. Life on the Swingset believes in SHIP's mission and they're committed to making sexual health programming a community service, but they can't do it without community support. Please join them in this important work by donating to the Pleasure Equity Campaign today Cold Intro Music: CloudNone, Direct & Exist Strategy – Parallels Intro and Outro Music: CloudNone, Direct & Aether – See The Light

13 Huhti 202349min

SS 397: ...and at least one amorous bird on this resort. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 2

SS 397: ...and at least one amorous bird on this resort. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 2

Continuing on from Part 1 of our live podcast on our trip in Cancun, Ginger initiates a tonal shift, Keeley makes sure everyone knows that more than gang bangs happen, Cooper talks about birds, Prof shares more deep thoughts, Tonia shares joy while serving the people, Ginger makes sure everyone knows that gang bangs happen, and Dylan continues to insult the audience. Multiple audience members share their passionate and heartfelt resort experiences with everyone.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!     Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     Intro Music: zensei ゼンセー – spadina 3am Outro Music: zensei ゼンセー – who we are

27 Marras 202246min

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