SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Jaksot(431)

SS 184: Ending the Sexual Dark Age with the Swingset at Desire Resort & Spa

SS 184: Ending the Sexual Dark Age with the Swingset at Desire Resort & Spa

We took time out of our very hard and busy work schedules in Desire to record a discussion with JV and Shara of Ending the Sexual Dark Age as well as a couple dozen other sexy naked people, We discuss what Desire means to us, what having places where we can be our authentic selves means and about creating those spaces wherever, whenever, and with whoever we can. We hear from people about getting comfortably naked for the first time in front of other people and we hear about why we will always come back. We also talk about having a LOT of sex   Join us in Mexico next year for Swingset Takes Desire 2015! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

27 Marras 20141h 10min

SS 183: A Swinging Vacation - Live from Desire Resort & Spa - Life on the Swingset

SS 183: A Swinging Vacation - Live from Desire Resort & Spa - Life on the Swingset

Ginger, Professor, Miko, Ronin, Ophilia, and Cooper are out of the office this week. They've jet off to paradise in Mexico at Desire Resort and Spa for the third annual Life on the Swingset Takes Desire. With 160 people along for the ride, they've spent a week of hedonism, debauchery, and drunkenness that would make the Rolling Stones sit back and take note. On Thursday of their week long trip, they sat down to talk with a live audience of friends and lovers, and do a live podcast.   This is the result.

19 Marras 20141h 24min

SS 182: The Worst Sex Toys in the World!!! with Crista Anne and the Redhead Beadhead

SS 182: The Worst Sex Toys in the World!!! with Crista Anne and the Redhead Beadhead

We've talked and talked about awesome sex toys are, the tremendous advancements in the field, the glory of stainless steel and silicone, body safe and body conscious products. You know all of that. So, today we're gonna talk about the flip side. The worst sex toys in the woooooorld! #SuchKeithOlbermannMuchClass Crista Anne of Dildology joins us as well as the Redhead Beadhead, JoEllen Notte! Also... the Minnesota Roller Girls have the best sports mascot. Period.             Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

14 Marras 20141h 20min

SS 181: Swinging & Polyamory on a Budget - How to Enjoy Your Fabulous Lifestyle For Very Little

SS 181: Swinging & Polyamory on a Budget - How to Enjoy Your Fabulous Lifestyle For Very Little

We at the Swingset are not wealthy. Despite what some may think, we don't make a fabulous living delivering a free podcast to you folks week after week. Despite that, though, we can afford to go to the occasional party, take the occasional (yearly) trip to Desire, sign up for paying sites. Or at least these ideas aren't incredibly foreign to us. On this episode we talk about how to "do" non monogamy on a budget, and how to make that time count.

5 Marras 20141h 7min

SS 180: Gang Bang The Mailbag 17 - Surprise Swinging, Silicone v. Silicone, Jealousy x 2

SS 180: Gang Bang The Mailbag 17 - Surprise Swinging, Silicone v. Silicone, Jealousy x 2

Asked and Answered Swingsetters! We discuss downgrading swing relationships, unexpected kissing jealousy, bi-threesome issues, partners backing out, theoretical jealousy, silicone lube on silicone toys and the most basic of questions... "How do I bring up swinging to my partner?" to which one of our answers is "Never with surprise swinging."   Want to help our friends at Burlesque Toy Shop get their first brick and mortar boutique off the ground in Philadelphia? Head over to their indiegogo campaign and pledge. Some great pledge prizes to be had, including a LELO Mona 2 for far less than you'd buy it anywhere else. If buying a product from their online store, save 20% when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

29 Loka 20141h 22min

SS 179: Gang Bang the Mailbag 16 - Unprotected Sex, Lies, Coming Out As Poly and more!

SS 179: Gang Bang the Mailbag 16 - Unprotected Sex, Lies, Coming Out As Poly and more!

Sweet Gang Bang Sixteen! We've taken your questions and answered them on air! We discuss a single poly woman dating a monogamous guy, being new and a virgin in non-monogamy, coming out as polyamorous to your family, talking to our children, jealousy, and navigating poly relationships when unprotected sex happens.   Want to help our friends at Burlesque Toy Shop get their first brick and mortar boutique off the ground in Philadelphia? Head over to their indiegogo campaign and pledge. Some great pledge prizes to be had, including a LELO Mona 2 for far less than you'd buy it anywhere else. If buying a product from their online store, save 20% when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

23 Loka 20141h 10min

SS 178: A Swinging Primer with Cooper Beckett - Live at The Pleasure Chest Los Angeles

SS 178: A Swinging Primer with Cooper Beckett - Live at The Pleasure Chest Los Angeles

Cooper super-sizes his Swinging Primer, as you do when you're teaching in LA.    Class description: "Cooper Beckett, from the podcast Life on the Swingset, takes you through the common peaks and valleys of beginning swinging, covering jealousy, safer sex practices, communication and more. Whether you're brand new to swinging, been doing it for years, or just fascinated by the idea, there's something here for everyone."

15 Loka 20141h 31min

SS 177: Erotica - Writing, Reading, Tweeting, Living It with Guest Rachel Kramer Bussel

SS 177: Erotica - Writing, Reading, Tweeting, Living It with Guest Rachel Kramer Bussel

Tonight we discuss erotica, writing it, reading it, tweeting it, living it with our guest Rachel Kramer Bussel. We discuss Rachel's extensive history in both writing and editing erotica, where erotica fits in every day life, expression, fiction, and reality in erotica, written vs. spoken vs. digital, how erotica lives with other forms of erotic material, and how erotica uniquely forces us to open our minds and our senses to truly get the most out of it.   Tweet along with tonight's episode using #ssliveish ! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

9 Loka 20141h 14min

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