SS 289: Gang Bang the Mailbag 32 - "My Wife and I"

SS 289: Gang Bang the Mailbag 32 - "My Wife and I"

Eighteen episodes is the longest we've ever gone without a listener mailbag episode, so tonight we've dug in deep with a new collection of listener questions including a highly coveted voicemail (573-55-SWING folks)! Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, Cooper S. Beckett, and Dylan Thomas field your questions and dig deep. In addition to fielding a voicemail question about dating and learning about how to put out what you're up for, we responded to:

Question 2:

My wife and I each identify as Poly. We have been actively practicing non-monogamy for a number of years now. This past year however, I was diagnosed with depression and bipolar. living and coping with this condition has really brought strife into our relationship. Therefore, after much consultation with each other and my therapist we have decided to close our marriage for now. There were no active outside relationships at the time, so there was no pulling couple's privilege.

Now however, after this initial period of introspection, I found myself asking this question:
Why do people (huge sweeping generalization there) who identify as Poly or otherwise non-monogamous seem to default to monogamy when things get tough with one of the relationships (usually the "primary")?

Shouldn't someone who identifies as Poly, have Poly as their default/fall back situation?

Question 3:

my wife & I have been talking about swinging for a while now and we've talked with a few couples but haven't been able to set up a meet yet. the question we have is how do we get over the nervousness of bringing a fantasy to reality and what happens if we don't like the reality of it

Question 4:

Dear Swingset.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years and my sexual experiences is quite limited. I have many fetishes and we stumbled into a FMF threesome one drunken evening. We have explored some of my fantasies together but many make her uncomfortable and we mostly stick to vanilla sex and light bondage.

We are both bisexual and I have never had a sexual experience with another man. I gently brought up the idea of us trying swinging and exploring the many M and F configurations together. This lead to fights and her refusing to even have the discussion with me. She would not let me do this on my own nor with her with the cost being our relationship. After several month I brought it up again and after a long and emotional talk we agreed that we would dip our toes but do everything together, she would set the pace and have veto powers. We started on Feeld and after a couple dates with couples found that she has no physical attractions to males with the exception of me. This is problematic as it leaves me with no males to pursue and us to go unicorn hunting.

Long story short we stopped our adventure with nothing gained except a deepened resentment towards me for 'pressuring' her into uncomfortable situations that she didn't want to be a part of anyways. By making the rules that we did everything together she felt she had no choice.

Now I'm in a situation where I will not have a chance to be with any other men or women or explore my fetishes for the cost of exploring is my marriage. I feel resentment towards her and my level of physical and emotional attraction towards has suffered greatly.

What am I to do?

Check out Swinger Safari, the mobile app that has privacy, filter, and geolocation features unlike anything the Swingset has used before! Download the app for free and use the promo code LOTSS to get your free 60 days!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Jaksot(431)

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger Bentham and Dylan Thomas sit down together and catch up! They've had a lot of life happen in a very short amount of time. Ginger relays her experience in the desert, Dylan talks about moving through swinger spaces at takeovers and clubs, and they read and comment on lots of listener reviews! Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! The primary hotel for the US's largest swinger festival Naughty in N'awlins is almost sold out! Come get Naughty with Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas this July 24-28 at Naughty in Nawlins! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro and Outro Music: Conro – Remember You Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

10 Huhti 20191h 15min

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode includes several other tracks from the Paradise album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

26 Maalis 20191h 24min

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, and Lunabelle of Ninja Sexology dive deep into the many ways genitals love stimulation and chat about being experimental with genitals. Lunabelle talks about Squishing Off, the Tantus Anaconda, and the Tantus Hoss. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Pegboard Nerds – Try This Interstitial Music: Bishu feat. Mister Blonde – Get To Know Me Interstitial Music 2: Murdock feat. Veela – In Touch Outro Music: Direct & Killabyte feat. Matt Van – One Less Star Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our cold open includes music by Internet Archive titled: O N L I N E, off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Maalis 20191h 9min

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions! Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man. I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested? Question 2: My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air? Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager. Question 3: We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples. The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings. Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world. So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself? Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie". Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video. Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex . Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

2 Maalis 201959min

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Tut Tut Child – Breathe (feat. Danyka Nadeau) Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

21 Helmi 20191h 44min

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

Kira Royale and Mike joined us in 2018 for our trip to paradise, and when Dylan Thomas put the call out for interviews, they physically jumped at the opportunity. They discuss swinger spaces and what makes a space truly great, connecting with other people, and their experiences in the lifestyle. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already over 45% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: CloudNone – Blue To Blue Outro Music: Kill Paris – Magic Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

31 Tammi 201953min

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

JV Altharas, and Shara Bono once again join Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas to continue discussing the debauchery and delight that was… Life on the Swingset takes Desire 2018. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode music includes music by ローマンRoman and Pacintosh Mlus titled c r y s t a l p e p s i off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

23 Tammi 201959min

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

Authors of the new Paperback, For Hire: Operator, Alana Phelan and Kevin Patterson, join Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, and Ginger Bentham to talk about being polyamorous authors and writing with an eye on representation and being true to ourselves.   Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.   The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

16 Tammi 20191h 7min

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