SS 301: Gang Bang the Mailbag 34 - Inquiring Swingers Want to Know

SS 301: Gang Bang the Mailbag 34 - Inquiring Swingers Want to Know

Tonight, Madam Fierce joins the Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, and Dylan to re-open the mailbag once again to give it the gang bang it deserves. The crew answers questions on the difference between swinging and polyamory, breaking up with another swing couple, swinging with too much enthusiasm, single male swingers, and first time swinging hiccups.

Question 1:

Hi guys, this is to all of you, though maybe first to Dylan, who seems to particularly enjoy contemplating these things.

I have been been listening to your podcasts since 2011, and have enjoyed the entire run.

What I have been struggling with intellectually is what differentiates swinging from polyamory. My wife and I have recently had acouples' experience which I think has cleared this up, at least for me. I am the introspective one in the relationship (she tends act quickly based on gut feelings of comfort, and chuckles at my additional ruminating), so this is really from the Mr.

We've been pretty successful with swinging / casual hookups, though Two things have happened recently that have changed things a bit.

First, my wife has maintained an online friendship with a single man since last spring, which I whole heartedly support, she's making plans to see him soon.

Secondly, we recently met a couple where I quickly developed a strong emotional connection with the wife. My wife has enjoyed the husband's company, but clearly isn't interested in anything more than casual. My wife supports my exploring this.

So, then, how to define what it is that we seem to be getting into? We areboth (probably) trying out hall passes, meeting folks one on one before the other has met them, and acknowledging at least one developing emotional connection with someone outside our relationship.

Question 2:

I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.

The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away.

We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.

Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.

Now the question:
How do you break up with a couple?

Question 3:

I'm a 39-yr old woman & new to all of this although I've been very much wanting to explore my bisexual & naughty sides for quite some time…, got a new boyfriend, he's 32, bisexual & we've been together for 1 month, already practically living together & saying the "L" word.

He's experienced in the swinging lifestyle (although it's been awhile) & is thrilled that I'm wanting/willing to try some new things with him. We've made a couples profile on 3 different sites & had 1 threesome already.

The problem is, I'm wanting to take it slow when it comes to women & couples ~ need to find the right person that I feel comfortable with and trust (to kinda get me past that nervousness hump) & he's all gung-ho about meeting people ASAP & making things happen, to the point of fiendish obsession (from my point of view, anyway). He's constantly on swinger sites, viewing profiles, suggesting potential action to me, and I'm rather picky, especially if I finally break into girl-on-girl play.

It's made me feel insecure, especially now that he's done most of the negotiation and now has started deleting messages, so I said something about it. We talked, he agreed he was moving too fast, but now I fear that I'm being petty.

Is this venture between him & I doomed? I'm not 100% sure what my boundaries are and I know I can't be the only woman on the planet to have unwelcome territorial feelings & insecurities crop up when first starting out.

How can I overcome that? I really want to do this, and I want to do it with this man.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Question 4:

Hi Swingset, love your Swinging for Beginning series and hope to hear more in the future.

My wife and I tried NonMonogamy. It went great for her, it was disasterous for me. We made some mistakes that culminated in us ending up in an unintentional cuckold arrangement.

I'm faced with moving through the swinger community as a single male and I'm not sure how. Single female swingers are few and far between and single men are plentiful and often faced with limited or expensive access to clubs and other spaces. The swinger community is pretty anti-single male, I have no clue how to survive being one. I'm segregated from the community I want to be a part of and I don't how how to proceed. Help!

Question 5:

We had our first experience at an on premise party last weekend. Our rules going in were no penetration, whatever we do it's together - constant touching of each other and at the first sign of discomfort we bail and regroup. The biggest insecurities both had was getting into a situation and being ignored.

Unfortunately, the hubby drank way too much! We met a nice couple we were both comfortable with and stuck a pin in them for later, we then met another couple we liked and took the action upstairs. We started playing together but the my hubby seemed disconneted. The original couple came upstairs and my hubby went off with the wife. The rest of the night we moved independently, hubby with other women, me with other men and women.

The party ended, we went back to our rooms and ended up with more activity in which I felt ignored. My hubby's been apologizing ever since, he feels horrible and can't explain his actions. I feel like I should have ended things the first moment I felt ignored but I didn't. We're both confused and aren't sure how to proceed. Should we go out again but watch the drinking? Should we both be more free to speak up?

Join Cooper and Dylan as they host a class on Bacchanalia Basics at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI on September 29th at 8:30PM!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Dylan Thomas Mike Joseph Dirty Lola

Jaksot(431)

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine

Join Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger as they host Catherine of Expansive Connection. Catherine offers her perspective on relationship therapy and her Power of Witness experience. It can be a challenge for those in polyamorous, open, and multipartnered relationships to find qualified helping professionals who not just tolerate nontraditional relationships, but elevate and celebrate the strengths of those who opt in for creative relationships. The crew talks therapy, truth-telling, and they share personal stories of their own adventures in love and sex. Website: https://www.expansiveconnection.com/lotss Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/expansive.connection.coaching/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/expanconnect  Power of Witness Sign Up (direct link): https://www.nurturingtheconnection.com/a/30219/5mkaT3y8   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: No Rest – Vicetone Business Music: Matroda – Shut It Down

1 Helmi 20211h 17min

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson

Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson join Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Dylan Thomas, to discuss consent. They talk practicing consent in every day life. "Consent has to exist in our every day lives and not just be a concept in the legal system." The concept of euretic consent, a term Shawn Coleman has offered the world, is a concept "literally made for this time, this experience, this revolution that we're going through… that invites us to reevaluate our boundaries and our relationships to ourselves." *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Shawn Coleman @OurTouchPoints Twitter | Our Touchpoints Website | Touchpoints: Cuddles and Community YouTube Kevin Patterson @PolyRoleModels Twitter | @PolyRoleModels Instagram | Poly Role Models Website Unf*ck Your Polyamory | For Hire: Operator Paperback | For Hire: Audition Paperback Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Sabai & Hoang feat. Claire Ridgely – Million Days

23 Marras 20201h 8min

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)

Tonia, Dylan, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger unwind with the Swingsetters after a busy workweek to delight in the Delights on a Friday night for an eclectic array of conversations. Ginger gets on a roll sharing about her double mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction, and then doubles (heh) down to worship Betty Fucking Dodson and Bodysex.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Intro Music: Direct & Park Avenue – I'll Go Interstitial & Outro Music: Notaker – The Longest Night

9 Marras 20201h 10min

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

The Shame of Desire, the Consideration of Risk – Friday Night Delights

Ginger, Tonia, Ryan aka Prof, and Dylan get together for a night of Friday Night Drinking and Delights and accidentally have a deep conversation about desire, shame, selfishness, risk-aware relative to sex and COVID-19, exposure networks and the complication of the return of feelings of jealousy and selfishness, but not before engaging in discussion on: rgb lighting… from the inside jalapenos, easy-tear vinyl gloves, and nitrile gloves period euphemisms uv sterilization… of the vagina bush / pubic hair christmas lights in the bush bush light busch light #ad #sponsored a sex party with a bush light dress code sponsored by busch light #ad #sponsored letterkenny puck bunnies men who grow Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today! We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information. Intro, Interstitial, and Closing Music: SMLE & Just a Gent – Revival Episode Introduction Music- "Studio" Steve Wallace – Mega Man 2 – Level Select This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Syys 202056min

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

A is for Adequate – Friday Night Delights with Cooper, Bradford, and Angela – 2020-06-26

Shame kinks. Pubic hair. Quarantine Partners. Australia. We're covering all our bases today with Ginger Bentham, Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, The Professor, and Angela and Bradford from the By the Bi podcast!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!   We ask you to consider donating to the Groundswell fund's Rapid Response Fund at groundswellfund.org. They offer fast funding to grassroots organizations led by women of color, trans people of color, and low income women and trans people in critical but unexpected fights to protect and advance reproductive and social justice. They get money to organizations and people who need it the most. Visit groundswellfund.org for donation information.   Podcast Announcements Intro Music: Xilent – Human Error Cold Open Music: Vicetone feat. BullySongs – I Feel Human Intro and Outro Music: Duumu – Breathe Again Interstitial Music: Rameses B – Thinking About You

21 Elo 20201h 37min

Black and Poly in These Times

Black and Poly in These Times

Ruby Johnson LCSW takes over Life on the Swingset and brings Dr. Justin Clardy, Thomas of wearibukun.com and Vision By Thomas,  Charita Marie, and Jhen from the Monogamish Podcast to offer their experiences being black and polyamorous in the midst of covid and the uprising.   You can find Ruby Johnson LCSW on Twitter and Instagram and information about Poly Dallas Millenium on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and at polydallasmillenium.com You can find Dr. Justin Clardy on Twitter, Instagram, and as @pagesla on Instagram. You can find Jhen on Twitter, Instagram, and find the Monogamish Podcast at monogamishpod.com and on Twitter and Instagram. You can find Charita Marie on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and find AcrylicArtTherapy on Instagram. You can also find Out and Equal's 2020 Workplace Summit at outandequal.org/2020-workplace-summit You can find Thomas and Wear Ibukun at wearibukun.com and on Instagram     If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance     Cold Open and Interstitial Music: Candyland & Ricci – Touch Me Intro Music: Fractal – Mountain Hunter Outro Music: Candyland & Shoffy – Faces   Candyland Instagram – Facebook – Soundcloud – Twitter Fractal Twitter – Soundcloud – YouTube – Facebook

24 Heinä 20201h 11min

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

My Damn Gangbang Got Cancelled By COVID - Friday Night Delights - 2020-04-17

It's clear from Life on the Swingset reviews that the first episode people listen to greatly shape opinions about the show. If this is your first, getting angry over gangbangs being cancelled, talking about Con Air (the movie) and hair dye is par for the course. Enjoy listening to Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Ryan Bentham, and Lunabelle on another edition of Friday Night Delights. The entry point is key.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   Need a good looking mask? We have good looking masks! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/masks and grab one today!     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us... we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance

24 Kesä 20201h 19min

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

COVID-19 and STI Stigma, with Ella Dawson - Friday Night Delights - 2020-05-22

Ella Dawson joins Ginger, the Professor, and Dylan to discuss reactions to people with / without COVID-19, and how it may affect public discussion surrounding STIs and stigma surrounding people living with STIs. Ella Dawson gave a TEDx Talk about how STIs aren't a consequence, they're inevitable.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!     Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).     There is an overall lack of research of what it means to feel loved and how people experience love. Luckily, The CSUF Queer Lab at California State University, Fullerton, understands this and has undertaken a project called the CSUF Love Project. They're looking for individuals at least 18 years old that have been/are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship! That means the swingers, the polyamorous, the open, and hopefully you! Your background, your sexuality, your identity, your experiences all matter and they'll contribute to a better understanding of love, relationships, and sex. Visit tinyurl.com/loveproj-t to enter the study!   If you've ever listened to us and loved us and enjoyed our guests, or even shaken your fist at us… we ask you to take action in your local communities. Organize. Volunteer. Be Loud. Visit racialequityresourceguide.org to find out where you can start. With links to grassroots organizations, national advocacy organizations, academic institutions, guides and resources, and   If you're able please consider donating to: Chicago Community Bond Fund National Bail Out #FreeBlackMamas Brave Space Alliance Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Conro – The Small THings

4 Kesä 20201h 7min

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