SS 301: Gang Bang the Mailbag 34 - Inquiring Swingers Want to Know

SS 301: Gang Bang the Mailbag 34 - Inquiring Swingers Want to Know

Tonight, Madam Fierce joins the Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, and Dylan to re-open the mailbag once again to give it the gang bang it deserves. The crew answers questions on the difference between swinging and polyamory, breaking up with another swing couple, swinging with too much enthusiasm, single male swingers, and first time swinging hiccups.

Question 1:

Hi guys, this is to all of you, though maybe first to Dylan, who seems to particularly enjoy contemplating these things.

I have been been listening to your podcasts since 2011, and have enjoyed the entire run.

What I have been struggling with intellectually is what differentiates swinging from polyamory. My wife and I have recently had acouples' experience which I think has cleared this up, at least for me. I am the introspective one in the relationship (she tends act quickly based on gut feelings of comfort, and chuckles at my additional ruminating), so this is really from the Mr.

We've been pretty successful with swinging / casual hookups, though Two things have happened recently that have changed things a bit.

First, my wife has maintained an online friendship with a single man since last spring, which I whole heartedly support, she's making plans to see him soon.

Secondly, we recently met a couple where I quickly developed a strong emotional connection with the wife. My wife has enjoyed the husband's company, but clearly isn't interested in anything more than casual. My wife supports my exploring this.

So, then, how to define what it is that we seem to be getting into? We areboth (probably) trying out hall passes, meeting folks one on one before the other has met them, and acknowledging at least one developing emotional connection with someone outside our relationship.

Question 2:

I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.

The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away.

We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.

Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.

Now the question:
How do you break up with a couple?

Question 3:

I'm a 39-yr old woman & new to all of this although I've been very much wanting to explore my bisexual & naughty sides for quite some time…, got a new boyfriend, he's 32, bisexual & we've been together for 1 month, already practically living together & saying the "L" word.

He's experienced in the swinging lifestyle (although it's been awhile) & is thrilled that I'm wanting/willing to try some new things with him. We've made a couples profile on 3 different sites & had 1 threesome already.

The problem is, I'm wanting to take it slow when it comes to women & couples ~ need to find the right person that I feel comfortable with and trust (to kinda get me past that nervousness hump) & he's all gung-ho about meeting people ASAP & making things happen, to the point of fiendish obsession (from my point of view, anyway). He's constantly on swinger sites, viewing profiles, suggesting potential action to me, and I'm rather picky, especially if I finally break into girl-on-girl play.

It's made me feel insecure, especially now that he's done most of the negotiation and now has started deleting messages, so I said something about it. We talked, he agreed he was moving too fast, but now I fear that I'm being petty.

Is this venture between him & I doomed? I'm not 100% sure what my boundaries are and I know I can't be the only woman on the planet to have unwelcome territorial feelings & insecurities crop up when first starting out.

How can I overcome that? I really want to do this, and I want to do it with this man.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Question 4:

Hi Swingset, love your Swinging for Beginning series and hope to hear more in the future.

My wife and I tried NonMonogamy. It went great for her, it was disasterous for me. We made some mistakes that culminated in us ending up in an unintentional cuckold arrangement.

I'm faced with moving through the swinger community as a single male and I'm not sure how. Single female swingers are few and far between and single men are plentiful and often faced with limited or expensive access to clubs and other spaces. The swinger community is pretty anti-single male, I have no clue how to survive being one. I'm segregated from the community I want to be a part of and I don't how how to proceed. Help!

Question 5:

We had our first experience at an on premise party last weekend. Our rules going in were no penetration, whatever we do it's together - constant touching of each other and at the first sign of discomfort we bail and regroup. The biggest insecurities both had was getting into a situation and being ignored.

Unfortunately, the hubby drank way too much! We met a nice couple we were both comfortable with and stuck a pin in them for later, we then met another couple we liked and took the action upstairs. We started playing together but the my hubby seemed disconneted. The original couple came upstairs and my hubby went off with the wife. The rest of the night we moved independently, hubby with other women, me with other men and women.

The party ended, we went back to our rooms and ended up with more activity in which I felt ignored. My hubby's been apologizing ever since, he feels horrible and can't explain his actions. I feel like I should have ended things the first moment I felt ignored but I didn't. We're both confused and aren't sure how to proceed. Should we go out again but watch the drinking? Should we both be more free to speak up?

Join Cooper and Dylan as they host a class on Bacchanalia Basics at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI on September 29th at 8:30PM!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Dylan Thomas Mike Joseph Dirty Lola

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Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Podcast Gangbang in Paradise! (feat. By the Bi and The Bedhoppers)

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan, Ophelia, and Cooper arrive early to the gorgeous ocean-side live podcast venue. They host Mr and Mrs H, the Bedhoppers, and Angela and Bradford of the By the Bi podcast for paradise-fueled, freeform, live podcast foreplay. As the gazebo starts to fill with Swingsetters, this large and motley crew discuss the mundane and outlandish with ocean waves in the background. Pull up a seat and join the chaos!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Ephixa & Heartful – Sundance

9 Joulu 201937min

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dispatches from Desire (Re-Issue)

Dylan, Tonia, Ryan the Prof, and Ginger fall into a few stolen moments on the eighth annual Swingset Takes Desire trip. With the sounds of the ocean and the hot tub in the background, they each take turns waxing philosophical about whatever topic seems to float through their paradise-addled minds. Not quite a bad cast, but close enough to earn the coveted Swingset chaos label. Kick back for a dose of dispatches from Desire.     Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Conro – Take Me There Outro Music: Notaker – Wake Up, You're Dreaming

22 Marras 201943min

Premature Desirejaculation

Premature Desirejaculation

Join Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan (aka Prof), and the Swinger Doc as they storytell and anticipate the eighth Swingset Takes Desire trip. This annual bacchanal brings with it the excitement of anticipation (read: foreplay) and the exhilaration of dreams come true. As reminiscences morph into future possibilities, listen in as desires are laid bare. And really the desires laid bare are the best desires, wouldn't you say?   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Julian Calor – Dream Odyssey Outro Music: CloudNone – Midnight Underground

29 Loka 201954min

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Keeping the Sexy in Risk Aware Sex

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, and Ryan (aka Prof) are excited to invite the Swinger Doc back onto the Swingset. As the Swinger Doc says, "Be safe but be sexy!" Stewarding your sexual health and deciding for yourself what risk aware means for you are facets of living in the consensually non-monogamous world. The crew discusses all manner of risk aware sex practices, resisting STI stigma, and helpful communication strategies to keep the sexy in risk aware sex. The crew references the recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report as referenced by CNN. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Throttle 7 – Where u Are Interstitial and Outro Music: Tokyo Machine – TURBO

26 Loka 201955min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part Two), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins for part two of their panel, Sustaining Open Relationships through Life's Challenges. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. NOPE Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: CloudNone & Paul Aiden – Anonymous Outro Music: DESERT STAR – Edge of the World Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Loka 201947min

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Sustaining Open Relationships Through Life's Challenges (Part One), Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan present live in front of an audience at Naughty in N'awlins. Not your typical swinger convention topic, the trio share their heartfelt stories about loss, health and medical trauma, and facing death. It's not often on the Swingset that the crew shares about such heavy and activating topics, so choose wisely when you cue up this episode, Swingsetters. Yet the vulnerability, rawness, and emotion are all a part of this life and therefore a part of open relationships. Listen as Dylan, Ginger, and Ryan share their perspectives and strategies for coping, getting your mojo back, and even thriving while healing and integrating traumatic life experiences. We mentioned Andrew Gurza during the panel. You can find his work, both the Disability After Dark podcast and his work as a Disability Awareness Consultant at AndrewGurza.com, and you can find him twitter @theandrewgurza. If you run events than you should contact Andrew to learn how to offer accommodations for all your event attendees. Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Direct & Matt Van – Cold Ground Our Triad Review segment includes music by ローマンRoman titled: L O V E, off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

1 Loka 201959min

Reviews and Riffin'

Reviews and Riffin'

Dylan and Ginger hang out with the Swingset patrons for a live podcast of reviews, listener questions, and some ridiculousness. Ryan The Professor makes his way into this episode like a wrecking ball to share his thoughts. From solo polyamorous parenting to fluid-bonding, these three climb up on the Swingset to riff. And riff they do. *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Tails & Juelz – Cobra Voicemail Music: Summer Was Fun – Pick Up The Phone Review Music: Haywyre – Sculpted

20 Syys 20191h 4min

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Pushing Your Edge - Personal Growth Through Sexual Adventure, Live at #Naughty2019

Dylan, Ginger, and Cooper presented in front of a live audience at Naughty in N'awlins 2019 about how sexual adventure impacts one's personal growth. Sharing stories, lessons they've learned, and strategies they've employed during their sexual adventuring, the Swingset crew invites you to explore your own personal growth. Pushing your edge and being curious about yourself while sexing can be another facet of the experience along with all the pleasure and fun! *** EMBED CODE FOR PODCAST FROM LIBSYN GOES HERE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD *** Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Interstitial Music: Au5 Feat. Danyka Nadeau – Eden Interstitial Music: Bossfight – No Sleep Outro Music: Disero feat. Joshua Smith – Like That – 02 Like That (Acoustic)

11 Syys 20191h 27min

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