SS 323: Gang Bang The Mailbag 35: Dental Dams, Straight Women, Aspergers & Swinging

SS 323: Gang Bang The Mailbag 35: Dental Dams, Straight Women, Aspergers & Swinging

Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, and Ginger Bentham know that the mailbag won't gang bang itself, so they've sat down to answer listener submitted questions for the 35th time!

Question 1:

Great podcast, I enjoy listening to you guys. My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship and it is going very well. My question is about dental dams, he and I don't use condoms when together but we always do with other people. He tried giving me oral using a dental dam just as an experiment and honestly I felt absolutely nothing :( most people don't use them i assume for exactly that reason. At least with condom the man still feels sensation although it's decreased comparing it to dental dam where one feels absolutely nothing, I barely felt he was down there lol. I know giving and receiving oral without a barrier is not the safest specially if involved in this lifestyle but when dental dam sucks so much what other alternatives are there to encourage it's usage. Could it be the brand of dental dam I used? Are there better brands out there that might be a little better.

Question 2:

Just started listening to your podcast and my husband and I are interested in adventuring into this fun world. We visited a sex club not too far away and we had a fun evening together, but it seemed like we were more adventurous than most of the other couples there that night. For the cost of being there, I wondered if we would be able to connect with other couples interested in setting up our own sexual adventure night at a very nice hotel. Am I being naive or is this a possibility? What are your thoughts with your experiences on this? We are open to engaging with others in our sexual play and with other couples.
Kelli

Question 3:

I am on the spectrum of Aspergers. Since I can't easily read people and don't know what they want, I take the approach of "if that was good for you, I'll do it again next time", how do I broach this with other swing partners in a positive way, and avoid repetitive sex?'

Question 4:

This is the most privileged problem one can have, but I have noticed since entering my current open relationship (and trying to enter the local poly community) that there doesn't seem to be much of a place for straight women.

I strongly identify as straight. I don't come from a repressive community (in fact many people in my family know I'm ethically non-monogamous and are very supportive) and I'm not aware of any bias I have against bi women - in fact recently I've reaaaaalllly wished I wanted anything to do with women. It seems a shame to not have the potential to experience half the population.

I haven't experimented with women. And I honestly just do not want to. I have knee jerk negative reactions about the thought of having sex with other women. I feel annoyed by it when couples invite me to play, and I actually have low level violent urges sometimes (not fun ones - like 'I'm going to deck this chick if she keeps touching my waste' urges). I feel the same way about snuggling and kissing - this isn't mere vag-phobia.

I keep hearing this message that no one is all straight and you need to exiperiment to know. But I don't think experimenting is physically or emotionally safe for me.

Should I just accept that, at least for now, I'm straight as an arrow and accept the limitations of that (I see the irony in this statement btw)? What do I say to people who meet my self identification with cynicism? I'm frustrated.

Thank you for listening,

Jaq

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Attend the Chicago Non-Monogamy Conference! It takes place Saturday, May 19th, 2018, at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, this year's CNMC's headlining topic is: Taking the privilege out of polyamory: Addressing race, sex, ability, and class in the nonmonogamy community.

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album.

Our Chicago Non-Monogamy Conference Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: N U L I F E, off the P A L M S I V album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham

Jaksot(431)

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger Bentham and Dylan Thomas sit down together and catch up! They've had a lot of life happen in a very short amount of time. Ginger relays her experience in the desert, Dylan talks about moving through swinger spaces at takeovers and clubs, and they read and comment on lots of listener reviews! Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! The primary hotel for the US's largest swinger festival Naughty in N'awlins is almost sold out! Come get Naughty with Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas this July 24-28 at Naughty in Nawlins! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro and Outro Music: Conro – Remember You Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

10 Huhti 20191h 15min

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode includes several other tracks from the Paradise album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

26 Maalis 20191h 24min

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, and Lunabelle of Ninja Sexology dive deep into the many ways genitals love stimulation and chat about being experimental with genitals. Lunabelle talks about Squishing Off, the Tantus Anaconda, and the Tantus Hoss. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Pegboard Nerds – Try This Interstitial Music: Bishu feat. Mister Blonde – Get To Know Me Interstitial Music 2: Murdock feat. Veela – In Touch Outro Music: Direct & Killabyte feat. Matt Van – One Less Star Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our cold open includes music by Internet Archive titled: O N L I N E, off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Maalis 20191h 9min

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions! Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man. I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested? Question 2: My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air? Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager. Question 3: We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples. The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings. Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world. So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself? Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie". Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video. Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex . Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

2 Maalis 201959min

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Tut Tut Child – Breathe (feat. Danyka Nadeau) Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

21 Helmi 20191h 44min

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

Kira Royale and Mike joined us in 2018 for our trip to paradise, and when Dylan Thomas put the call out for interviews, they physically jumped at the opportunity. They discuss swinger spaces and what makes a space truly great, connecting with other people, and their experiences in the lifestyle. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already over 45% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: CloudNone – Blue To Blue Outro Music: Kill Paris – Magic Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

31 Tammi 201953min

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

JV Altharas, and Shara Bono once again join Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas to continue discussing the debauchery and delight that was… Life on the Swingset takes Desire 2018. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode music includes music by ローマンRoman and Pacintosh Mlus titled c r y s t a l p e p s i off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

23 Tammi 201959min

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

Authors of the new Paperback, For Hire: Operator, Alana Phelan and Kevin Patterson, join Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, and Ginger Bentham to talk about being polyamorous authors and writing with an eye on representation and being true to ourselves.   Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.   The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

16 Tammi 20191h 7min

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