SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs
Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast12 Elo 2018

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

SS 333: Giving and Receiving Amazing Blowjobs

SS 333: Giving and Receiving Amazing Blowjobs

Tonight Bex Caputo from The Dildorks podcast joins Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, and Ginger Bentham to talk about giving and receiving amazing blowjobs. The crew offers tips, tricks, recount personal techniques, and more! Bex mentions that his favorite dildo is the Vixskin Gambler... a truly impressive dildo. Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Life on the Swingset 2018 - 2019 Theme Music: Puppet - Vagabond Intro Music: Crankdat & Tisoki - Wobble Interstitial & Outro Music: Vicetone - Walk Thru Fire (feat. Meron Ryan) Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: ビキニ BIKINI, off the Paradise album. Our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license. Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham

2 Loka 201847min

SS 332: Revisiting Soft Swap & Full Swap - Styles of Swinging

SS 332: Revisiting Soft Swap & Full Swap - Styles of Swinging

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants! Intro Music: Conro - September Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Interstitial Music: Tokyo Machine - FLY Outro Music: Keepsake - This Time Around f/ Slyleaf Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our "where can our listeners find you" segment includes パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license. Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

10 Syys 20181h 2min

SS 331: Swinging and Polyamory when Broke AF

SS 331: Swinging and Polyamory when Broke AF

A lot of the people are pretty broke, though most are willing to add the caveat of privilege being able to basic niceties and even engage in a little treat every once in a while. Some of the trappings that go along with swinging and polyamory, namely the frequent outings, overnight stays at hotels and swing clubs, are things that can add up very quickly. Tonight, Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Chris Pent, Dr. Liz Powell, and Dirty Lola get together to talk about how to swing and date polyamorously while being broke as fuck. Ginger Bentham is #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants! Check out the Sex Down South conference, hosted at the Hilton Atlanta from September 6th through the 8th, 2018! Located in Atlanta, GA, the Sex Down South Conference provides sexuality workshops taught by educated and amazing presenters from around the world. Enthusiasts join in the fun and learn from the best - all while doing it in an inclusive and loving environment. Visit sexdownsouth.com for ticket information! Intro Music: Soulji - One Night Interstitial Music: Dion Timmer - The Right Type (feat. Jade LeMac) Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Dr. Liz Powell's Music: Summer Was Fun - Hold On (feat. Q'AILA) Chris Pent's Music: Tokyo Machine – BUBBLES Outro Music: Dirtyphonics - Sayonara Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our "where can our listeners find you" segment includes パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY. The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license. Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

20 Elo 20181h 12min

SS 329: The Importance of Play, with Angelique Luna, Live at Poly Dallas Millennium!

SS 329: The Importance of Play, with Angelique Luna, Live at Poly Dallas Millennium!

Cooper S. Beckett and Dylan Thomas travel to Dallas for PolyDallas Millenium! There, they join with Angelique Luna (of the Living a Sex Positive Life podcast) to discuss the importance of play, especially during times of struggle. Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants! Dylan's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings. You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: LVTHER - Time Well Spent (feat. Ayelle) Commercial and Outro Music: soupandreas & Inverness - Tumbling Down Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse! Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our Swingtowns Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: さようなら GOOD BYE, off the Paradise album. Our Effing Foundation Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: シドニーSYDNEY, off the Paradise album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license. Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas

28 Heinä 20181h 5min

SS 328: Getting Back on the Horse

SS 328: Getting Back on the Horse

In an episode recorded September 22nd 2017, Dr. Liz Powell, Dylan Thomas, and Mike Joseph get together to talk about getting back on the horse after loss, or anything else that may have taken them out of dating and playing with people for an extended period of time. Dylan almost didn't release this episode, but after an extended conversation with both Dr. Liz and Mike, they collectively decided to do it, even though talk during the episode offered few answers. They did however offer one final thought: Hope. ...also a link to Dr. Liz's dudebros joke is here.   Create an account at Swingtowns by visiting lifeontheswingset.com/swingtowns!   Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants! Dylan's #AllIn for Desire... are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.   The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.   Pre-roll Music: Half an Orange - Old Friends (feat. Blonde Maze)  Intro and Outro Music: Duumu - Forward (feat. MIA) Review Music: Haywyre - Sculpted Mike Joseph's Music: Falcon Funk - Catnip Trip (Perkulat0r Remix) Dr. Liz Powell's Music: Summer Was Fun - Hold On (feat. Q'AILA)   Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!   Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our episode also featured the tracks: さようなら GOOD BYE and シドニーSYDNEY   These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.   Dylan Thomas Dr. Liz Powell Mike Joseph

18 Heinä 201855min

SS 327: Being Sex Positive in a Sex Negative World - A Panel Discussion at Camp Ravish

SS 327: Being Sex Positive in a Sex Negative World - A Panel Discussion at Camp Ravish

This week on The Swingset, we return to the scorching 107 degree heat of Austin, Texas, where Ginger and Cooper attended and presented at Camp Ravish. On the last day of Camp, they sat down with several other presenters there, including The Two Knotty Boys, Melissa Jones, Bella LaVey, Rihannon Ixchel, and Miss O Kissed, to talk about the state of affairs for those of us plying a sex positive trade, while skirting around the issue of that big orange thing crashing toward us all. (A quick note, again we were outside in the heat, so we had both fans and a fountain to contend with, but fuck it, we did it live!) Hope you enjoy! After tonight's episode, you'll also be able to hear some audio erotica, a short story called Go For Launch - Double Penetration For Science, read by Angela Elmore of the By the Bi Podcast

16 Kesä 20181h 24min

SS 326: Coloring Outside the Lines in Sexuality & Kink – Cooper & Ginger Live at Camp Ravish, Austin

SS 326: Coloring Outside the Lines in Sexuality & Kink – Cooper & Ginger Live at Camp Ravish, Austin

This past weekend, Cooper S. Beckett and Ginger Bentham flew down to the balmy state of Texas, which greeted them with a 107 degree heat index. But the temperature wasn't the only thing that was hot that weekend because they were in town for Camp Ravish just outside of Austin – three days and two nights of connecting with like-minded adults in a fun, frisky and judgment free camp setting. We lead the weekend talking about coloring outside the lines and exploring your boundaries in sexuality and kink, and we're thrilled to bring the audio of this session to The Swingset. Hope you enjoy! (A quick note, they were outside in the heat, so they had both fans and a fountain to contend with, but fuck it, they did it live!)

6 Kesä 20181h 16min

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