SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

SS 113: CatalystCon East Decompression - Sexy Parties, Porn Stars, and Prostate Orgasms!

SS 113: CatalystCon East Decompression - Sexy Parties, Porn Stars, and Prostate Orgasms!

We all had unique experiences at CatalystCon East, we met different people, attended different sessions, sucked different cocks, cuddled with different people, met with various porn stars, and created our own breakthrough moments. We also passed up an opportunity to use the latest Njoy prototype. We truly are horrible people. Also, the hotel couldn't wait to rid themselves of our presence. We made so many friends over the weekend, why couldn't the hotel staff be some of them? Oh Cooper, my mistake, you DID make a friend over a discussion about anal play. Well done. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out these Black Dragon ZERO Nitrile Gloves for latex-FREE goodness! Follow @CatalystCon on Twitter and check out #ccon Follow @thedylanryan on Twitter Follow @Wylddelirium on Twitter and check out #ccontrans Follow @Hernando_Chaves on Twitter and check out #cconmale When bad science kills, or how to spread AIDS (References to the flawed Male Circumcision studies)

11 Huhti 20131h 8min

SS 112: CatalystCon East Decompression - From Boy Kissing to Blanket Forts

SS 112: CatalystCon East Decompression - From Boy Kissing to Blanket Forts

We all had unique experiences at CatalystCon East, we met different people, attended different sessions, kissed different boys, assembled different blanket forts, and... occasionally we all got in the hot tub together, sat in the lounge together, and you know... gave our presentation. We spend the time chatting about all that stuff with a little touch of lament at the end for what could have been if for not being limited to sixty minutes. Boy, it sure is a good thing we don't have to worry about that here, right? ...   right? Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out this Hemp Bondage Rope by Lover's Knot! Follow @CatalystCon on Twitter

5 Huhti 20131h 10min

SS 111: In Bed With the Swingset II - Recorded Live at CatalystCon East

SS 111: In Bed With the Swingset II - Recorded Live at CatalystCon East

Cooper, Ginger, Shira, Dylan, Miko, Ophilia, and The Professor (tm) all get in one hotel room before their CatalystCon East session, hop on a couple beds, drink some wine, and have a casual conversation of how much they love each other in this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast! We discuss how consistently impressive Ginger's panty selection is, and we touch... just barely touch on some of the mail that we've received and responded to, while Dylan falls completely off his rocker and rants about religion and politics the likes of which you've never heard on this podcast. If it helps, it's surrounded by heaping amounts of sexiness, flogging, under the shirt play, plenty of flirting, and a very, -very- unhappy Cooper Beckett. Are you not entertained!? Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Follow @CatalystCon on Twitter A New Inquisition: The Vatican targets US nuns

1 Huhti 20131h 32min

SS 110: Sex With Benefits: Progressive Swinging, Recorded Live at CatalystCon East!

SS 110: Sex With Benefits: Progressive Swinging, Recorded Live at CatalystCon East!

We attended CatalystCon East last week. CatalystCon, as described by Dee Dennis the founder and creator, is a conference created to inspire exceptional conversations about sexuality. It is about reaching out and stimulating those who attend to create those important conversations in their own communities, changing how we as a society talk and treat sexuality.  It is about stimulating the activist that is within all of us and sparking transformation in the way our friends, neighbors, children and even politicians discuss one of the most important aspects of humanity. In our session titled; Sex With Benefits: Progressive Swinging, we define progressive swinging, explain why we describe ourselves and our style of swinging as progressive swinging, and state its overarching goal: To unite the various non-monogamous communities under one larger community. We may not all speak as one, but we can be there for each other and work towards the kind of acceptance the LGBT community fought so long and hard for. Also Ginger gets flustered and loses her thoughts easily. Dylan "explainabrags" more. Cooper talks about being an accidental activist. Shira plays the role of "token poly snarky girl". Enjoy the live recording of our session! Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Follow @CatalystCon on Twitter

25 Maalis 20131h 12min

SS 109: Reflections on Swingset Kinkery

SS 109: Reflections on Swingset Kinkery

We brought Miko Technogeisha on for a discussion on our own personal kinks, and... ended up derailed when Dylan inevitably decided to use Ginger's bedroom habits for his own personal scene. Upon attempting to get back on track Cooper sets up a second scene involving some fictional magical characters at a fictional wizardry school and...  Ginger steps out for a few! After the break we go into what it can feel like for a "less kinky" person to encounter a "very kinky" person and all around just chat about how much fun it can be, to be kinky. [powerpress] Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Bondage Basics Leather Ankle Cuffs by Kink Lab! You can follow @technogeisha on twitter!

20 Maalis 20131h

SS Special - Cooper's Mea Culpa

SS Special - Cooper's Mea Culpa

My name is Cooper Beckett, and I am a loudmouth. I'm extremely opinionated, and I use my little podcast as a soap box for my opinions. I'm also a snarky bastard, who enjoys giving shit to all. Just ask Dylan. This weekend, I got two emails, both taking me to task for my grumpery. I have snarked about "breeders" because I have no interest in having children. I have never seen this term as an insult, and have no issue whatsoever with children, or those who bear them. I like kids, I like people with kids. As a definite minority amongst those in a family way, I will jab, but never with malice. And I will apologize for the term breeders. On two other topics, I have been called intolerant. That of the religious, and Republicans. I will admit to painting broad swaths of the religious with the same brush, the same can be said for my opinions and feelings about Republicans. I am an atheist and a Democrat, I have never hidden this fact. To our listeners who are religious, especially Christian, and to those who are Republican, I apologize for my often harsh words toward your affiliations. I recognize how strongly these beliefs can be held. I have often said that all beliefs should be tolerated, so long as they don't infringe on other people. Right now, my state of Illinois is moving forward to allow gay marriage. The only people to speak against it were the religious. Are there religious folk who are sex positive? Who promote freedom, equality, tolerance? Absolutely. Are there republicans who also espouse the same beliefs and strengths that I stand for? Definitely! I know many people that fit into one or both of these categories. They are my friends, they are my lovers, they are my family. I will never apologize, however, for my intolerance of intolerance. Rest assured, when I complain about the religious, I'm complaining about those who use their beliefs in God as a bludgeon for shaping policy that makes cohabitation without marriage illegal in Virginia, prohibits or impedes access to birth control, and by and large, keeps marriage equality from being a right for ALL Americans. I’m complaining about the institutionalized cover-up of thousands upon thousands of child sexual abuse cases in the Catholic church. When I complain about the Republicans, I complain about those who opposed the Violence against Women Act, who stand in the way of repealing the Defense of Marriage Act. And those responsible for all of the above God bludgeoning. These are not beliefs, this is intolerance. Beliefs are for you. Intolerance is for the world. I stand against those spreading blatant lies about contraception, and conception, about women’s bodies being able to shut down rape, about the validity of science, and a misconception of what the term “theory” actually means. Tolerance is a noble attribute, and one I strive for in myself with every person I encounter. I’m reasonably sure that the listeners of our podcast don’t fit into those categories that I am complaining about, and if they do, I would be very curious to hear them talk about how they reconcile these beliefs with their interest in our aberrant sexuality. But all that said, I adore my listeners, and the thought that I’ve upset or hurt anyone with my glib comments causes me pain, and again I apologize to them. Every word I speak that doesn’t have a citation should always be treated as my opinion, which is no more valid than any other opinion, even if mine is sometimes louder. To crib from our intro, I am most certainly biased, but I will always speak honestly and earnestly, and as a staunch defender of all safe, sane, and consensual sexual and relationship practices that occur between adults, I will never pull my punches. Thank you

13 Maalis 20134min

SS 108: Gang-Bang the Mailbag 7 - Politics, Time, Consent, & Swinging

SS 108: Gang-Bang the Mailbag 7 - Politics, Time, Consent, & Swinging

We're taking another dip into the calm waters of the lake of reader submitted questions for our seventh Gang-Bang the MailBag episode! After what seems like thirty minutes of business and random thought salad, we discuss being a discerning connoisseur of swing partners, trying to find time to really meet minds with a group of progressive swingers while having limited amounts of time, discussing the old #1 rule that women make the rules, and politics and self-selection in finding playmates. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Stand-To-Urimate "Spoon" Packer STP!

5 Maalis 20131h 18min

SS 107: Parenting & Non-Monogamy: Sex Positive Parenting Continued with Guest Airial Clark

SS 107: Parenting & Non-Monogamy: Sex Positive Parenting Continued with Guest Airial Clark

Many of us in the lifestyle are parents and can sometimes feel alone when addressing issues regarding child development and age-appropriate ways of discussing sexuality. Airial Clark wowed us so much the last time she was on, we asked her to come back! Today, Dylan stumbles over trying to figure out how not to repeat the "find your father's pornos" way of discovering sexuality, Shira appreciates the depth of knowledge Airial has on non-monogamous households and the benefits and extra issues that come with it, while Cooper just cracks a few jokes and laughs about breeders. Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount! Check out the Stronic Eins Rechargeable Pulsator by Fun Factory. STRONIC EINS! Check out Airial Clark's site, The Sex-Positive Parent and follow her on Twitter @airialclark. Come see us at Catalyst East! RSVP via Facebook and let us know you're coming! Use Discount Code: swingset for 10& off your ticket!

25 Helmi 20131h 3min

Suosittua kategoriassa Terveys ja hyvinvointi

unicast
tiedenaiset-podcast
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
paaasia-podcast
vakeva-elama-viisaampi-mieli-vahvempi-keho
psykopodiaa-podcast
meditaatiot-suomeksi
junnut-pelissa
selvin-pain
rss-uplevel-by-sonja-hannus
fitnessvastaanotto
katilon-kahvitunti
rss-duodecim-lehti
puhu-muru
paritellen
terapiassa
docemilia
rss-vapaudu-voimaasi
fitnesskulmapodcast
rss-mighty-finland-podcast