SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

Pushing Your Boundaries - Live at Krazy Winter Nights 2020!

Pushing Your Boundaries - Live at Krazy Winter Nights 2020!

Ginger Bentham, Ryan (The Professor) Bentham, Dylan Thomas, and Cooper S. Beckett braved the great white northern territories of Maine and Chicago to travel to the great white northern territory of Omaha, NE to attend Krazy Winter Nights 2020! Their session, Pushing Your Boundaries, featured each member of the Swingset Crew relaying both their early struggles and early triumphs as they spoke about how they've grown over the years by pushing their boundaries… whether they meant to or not. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Koven – Followers

18 Maalis 20201h 19min

Finding Quality Information About Open Relationships with Emma and Fin

Finding Quality Information About Open Relationships with Emma and Fin

Dylan, Ryan, and Ginger invite Emma and Fin from Normalizing Non-monogamy onto the Swingset to discuss finding quality information about how to open your relationship. When getting started in consensual non-monogamy, it is easy to get overwhelmed by the volume of information available. This discussion includes strategies and advice for finding quality guidance, as well as more than a few cautionary tales.     The Presenting Sponsor of today's episode is One, and if there's anyone that wants you to enjoy condoms it's One condoms! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/onecondoms, check out their Find Your Fit page and grab yourself a MyOne sample kit! Use promo code SWINGSET for 15% off!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Sabai feat. Hoang and Claire Ridgely – Million Days Outro Music: Half an Orange & Ephixa – Time Travel Kool Aid

4 Maalis 20201h 11min

The Whole Damn Preshow - Live before Krazy Winter Nights 2020!

The Whole Damn Preshow - Live before Krazy Winter Nights 2020!

Ginger, Ryan, Dylan, and Cooper get together on Krazy Winter Nights 2020 eve, grab some Denny's, and … a convertrainwreck follows. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro Music: Tony Romera – Stuck In Your Head Outro Music: DESERT STAR – Empty Sky

1 Helmi 20201h 12min

Parenting While Solo Polyamorous and More

Parenting While Solo Polyamorous and More

Dylan and Ginger invite Lunabelle and Tikva, of Kimchi Cuddles, to talk parenting: what it is like to parent solo when you are polyamorous and what it's like to be solo polyamorous as a parent. Inspired by a listener question, the group dives deeper into the the practicalities and the the lived experience of parenting while open.   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Glacier – Still

31 Tammi 20201h 1min

A Sex Toy Story

A Sex Toy Story

Dylan, Tonia, Ginger, Ryan the Prof, and Lunabelle share their experiences with incorporating sex toys into play. The weird, the intimidating, the playful, and the practical, all have a place in the action if everyone is agreeable. The group talks about when things have gone awry and when the toys made play transcendent. Climb up on the Swingset for a sex toy story! A special thank you to NorCalCouple916 for sending us your orgasm!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Protostar Feat. Emma McGann – Where I Belong Voicemail Music: Summer Was Fun – Pick Up The Phone Review Music: Haywyre – Sculpted

30 Tammi 202059min

Gangbang the Mailbag 40: More Action with Bex and Kevin

Gangbang the Mailbag 40: More Action with Bex and Kevin

Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson join Dylan and Ginger on the Swingset to give perspectives on some listener questions. From sharing you are polyamorous with your partner for the first time, to thoughts for an adventurous "unicorn," to navigating group sex, these listeners asked and the Swingset answered. And buy Kevin's fantastic new book, "For Hire: Audition." Question 1: Lately I've come to terms with the fact that I identify as Bi-curious and polyamorous. I have also been in a monogamous relationship with my current partner and wife of 8 years. I've brought up that the fact that I'm interested in opening up our relationship, something she was at first intrigued by but now is very opposed to the idea. She doesn't really understand how I can have feelings of love and attraction towards other people and still love and be attracted to her. Every time I bring it up she expresses that she feels hurt and is confused why, in her words, she is "not good enough". I've yet find a way to explain it in a way she can really understand my perspective. We honestly have a pretty decent relationship, pretty solid communication and a strong connection. At the same time I know in my heart that monogamy is not for me. I love her and I really don't want to end it and at the same time I want the freedom to love, play with and experience other people. I also don't want to pressure her into doing something she really doesn't want to do. I apologize for the overshare but I'm just wondering if you have any suggestions or have run into this problem before? Question 2: I have a glorious opportunity to really explore my sensuality and expand my sexuality and. . . I don't know where to start. At the end of 2018 My husband ended our 12 year marriage by finding another woman and fucking her behind my back. All he wanted was the typical cis straight male fantasy: FMF threesome but didn't want to go anywhere to find her. Here's what I'm looking for- I really desire to explore my sexuality with men and maybe even women in a safe, open environment. Plus I really, really want sex again- it's been 4 freaking months already! I shy away from one night stands or just a quick wham bam. I'm definitely looking for more connection like progressive swinging but not ready for love at all yet. I'm so confused (and scared to be honest). Do I: Try swinging for the first time as a unicorn? Try to find a best friend with benefits? Go to a swingers club? Try a swinging site? Just get on Tinder and hope for the best? How do I keep myself safe as a single woman whether swinging or looking for sex? Question 3: My sexy wife and I really enjoy watching group sex/orgies at the club we go to and we are ready to take the next step. How in the world do we approach a group of undulating bodies to have sex with them. We are finally feeling confident enough, but have no idea what to do. Help us get in there! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro and Outro Music: Infected Mushroom – Walking on the Moon

17 Tammi 202043min

Swingset Takes Desire 8.0, Live at Desire Resort & Spa in Cancún! (re-issue)

Swingset Takes Desire 8.0, Live at Desire Resort & Spa in Cancún! (re-issue)

A resort full of Swingsetters walks into an oceanside gazebo…as you may imagine chaos and heartfelt moments ensue. Amidst the sea of sexies, Dylan, Ginger, and Cooper reflect on the eighth annual Desire Riviera Maya takeover with one magical night yet ahead. Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

30 Joulu 20191h 2min

Gangbang the Mailbag 39 with Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson

Gangbang the Mailbag 39 with Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson

That Swingset mailbag we all know and love was getting pretty full of listener questions. And since there is always a swing available on the Swingset, Dylan and Ginger invited Bex Caputo and Kevin Patterson to share their wisdom. The foursome takes on questions about mono-polyam relationship sustainability, supporting your partner's dating life, and finds time to catch up about some awesome life updates. And buy Kevin's fantastic new book, "For Hire: Audition." We answer a listener voicemail on internalized feelings of guilt and shame, then proceed to answer the following emailed in questions: Question 1: I am half of a swinging/polyamorous couple. I have a fantastic dating life and want my husband to too! For some reason, he won't put himself out there because he said he feel like a creeper. He is, I think, overly respectful in that he thinks the not cool "single guy" baggage applies to him and it just isn't true. How can I get him to get out there? He will make a woman or some women in addition to me very happy. Question 2: We have been open for two years and have recently decided to be polyamorous. My husband will be remaining monogamous, but I feel I am my truest self if I am polyamorous. I have been in a friends with benefits type situation with someone I now have strong feelings for. He is monogamous and I am unsure if he would be willing to date me. How do I go about talking to him about this? I guess my question is, is a mono-poly relationship sustainable? Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Intro, Interstitial, and Outro Music: Pixel Terror – Millennia Our Triad Sex Toys review of the Geeky Sex Toys' Dildek featured the song L O V E by ローマンRoman off the P A L M S ( D E L U X E ) album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

30 Joulu 20191h 2min

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