SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

SS 330: Gang Bang the Mailbag 37 - Pet Play, Wallflowers, Canadian Clubs

Tonight's Gang Bang the Mailbag is the crew's 37th, and they're doing it in force! Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Dirty Lola, Mister Pent, and Dr. Liz Powell get together to answer your questions! You can send them questions to answer by calling 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464) or sending them an email!

Question 1:

I have recently come to the conclusion there is not a God or at least not the way we see god in most major religions and it was freeing. My husband and I started talking about sex and fantasies and I even tried some of the BDSM stuff but the idea of becoming submissive and giving up my free will even for pretend makes me angry and that stuff makes me want to cry and is the complete opposite of a turn on. I know much of it comes from realizing I was told my WHOLE life I had to be submissive to a man and that he was the head of the household an I am sure you have heard this.

My husband really wants to try pet play. I am not judgmental and I keep trying to encourage him to keep looking for someone to act this fantasy out with. He wants me to do it but even watching the videos makes me feel extremely upset especially if they have sound and are barking orders at their pets. I don't find it disrespectful for him to want to engage in this what I do find disrespectful is for him to expect me to somehow learn to enjoy it.

He seems to think I will come around like I did with other things like anal sex which I was very against until I took god out of my live entirely and realized it was not a sin. After that it was painful and he thought it was emotional then I heard an episode of swingset that helped me realize the initial pain would go away if i could relax but I always have a little pain. Ever since then he seems to think if I just keep doing something I will eventually learn to like it. He even tries to do things like tell me to sit while I am already sitting and feed me a "treat." I can't stand it and I have told him so and he just keeps doing it or variations of it. I will put on kitty ears or puppy ears and play dress up but it just seems to drive more of the pushing for more behavior so then I still can't enjoy myself.

The bottom line is that I would really like him to quit trying to make me like things that I have such negative feelings about participating in.

Is there something wrong with me for not being able to enjoy his fantasies? Am I being ridiculous or selfish? I really don't know anymore I don't have that false moral compass to guide me anymore.

Question 2:

My husband and I are new to swinging, and I guess you could call us wallflowers. We went to our first club last weekend and just sort of hung out. We're both...reasonably attractive...but didn't get approached at all. I know you always say you should ask for what we want, and it's on us for not doing that, but any other advice for the wallflowers out there?

We're considering your desire trip, and are sorta worried we'd do the same thing at that resort.

Question 3:

My wife and I recently decided to explore the lifestyle. Living in Ottawa there is now really only one active club, we also have become members of a private club, which we truly enjoy in the summer months.

We are still new to this, we are moving slowly, we are more about connections. We enjoy the friends that we have made so far, it is nice to get together with like minded individuals, not having to worry about conversation that at times can become very sexual or hot. Your podcasts have been enlightening about nervousness, rules, boundaries, most of all about inclusiveness.

I am a hetroflexible male and my wife has learned that she is pansexual. The hardest thing we find in the area is that the clubs here are not very open to bisexual men, they also try to exclude single men most times. I understand the reasons that I have been given, they have had and continue to have single men that are too aggressive and do not respect the boundaries.

The one club allows single men on Friday nights. The club also has fetish and kink nights periodically to try and be more inclusive, these events are open to everyone. I feel that I try to be sensitive and caring to everyone. I just think it would be awesome to have an area where everyone can go and have a great, safe and open environment.

My vision would be something something like Oasis in Toronto, but open to everyone, or at least open to all couples, with no bias on gender. To me it would be a start. Thank you for sharing your podcasts, they are very informative.

Question 4:

A couple of years ago my husband asked if we could try a threesome. We were having sexual satisfaction issues due to stress he was dealing with at the time which made me feel insecure.

Recently we've started hooking up with a couple we know. I'm bi and wanted to play with a woman in addition to some swapping. But when it came down to it, I was playing with her and having a great time. Once my husband started playing with her, my insecurities came up and we had a fight because I felt like we rushed into a more intimate level of playing.

The other problem is, I was not attracted to the other husband. And my husband's stress issue reared its ugly head when we played again. The other wife and he were playing she was getting upset about my husband's performance. I wanted to watch and help, which frustrated the other husband.

I really want to be in the lifestyle and I know we really screwed up our approach for the first few times. I feel like a hypocrite about my jealous feelings that come up when I see my husband playing with another woman.

Are we just doomed in the lifestyle? How do you know when to call it quits?

More importantly, how do we approach another couple when I feel like I need so much attention to make sure I feel good?

Question 5:

We're in Detroit and have a group of swingers we play with regularly.

A little bit back, we went to a party where she played solo with a guy without checking in beforehand. I wasn't okay with that, and let her know afterwards. She has played solo in a separate space before and let me know beforehand. So I had assumed she knew to go slow. Mistakes can happen!

Last week we went to a kink party. I saw her kissing the aforementioned solo guy a couple times. But while with me, she excused herself to get a drink when he also did and they instead went to fuck without checking in. I felt abandoned, especially as they continued to play all night.

I told her that I felt betrayed and overlooked, as well as ignored when she reacted defensively without acknowledging my feelings.

We talked the next day without particularly resolving anything and I spun into self loathing and over-analying my actions.I still feel she intentionally ignored me that evening. And there was a huge communication gap between her thinking she was doing me a favor leaving me open to play with others, and the lack of check in and connection I wanted. This is a new level of jealousy I haven't felt before.

Have you ever had this type of situation and how did you handle it?
Could I have dealt with it better at the party?

Tristan Taormino's #AllIn for Desire… are you? Join us from November 3rd through the 10th this 2018 for Life on the Swingset's seventh trip to Desire! Visit www.ssdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Do you have a sex positive project? Would you be interested in a grant? Visiting the Effing Foundation at effing.org/grants!

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Our Desire 2018 Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Bikini, off the Paradise album. Our cold open in includes the track パラダイス PARADISE , our Swingtowns Advertisement includes the track さようなら GOOD BYE, and the Effing Foundation Advertisement includes the track シドニーSYDNEY.

The Sex Down South Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: Internet Archive - O N L I N E off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album.

These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

Cooper S Beckett Dylan Thomas Ginger Bentham Dr. Liz Powell Dirty Lola Mr. Pent

Jaksot(431)

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger and Dylan Catch Up and Rediscover Themselves

Ginger Bentham and Dylan Thomas sit down together and catch up! They've had a lot of life happen in a very short amount of time. Ginger relays her experience in the desert, Dylan talks about moving through swinger spaces at takeovers and clubs, and they read and comment on lots of listener reviews! Tristan Taormino is coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! The primary hotel for the US's largest swinger festival Naughty in N'awlins is almost sold out! Come get Naughty with Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas this July 24-28 at Naughty in Nawlins! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro and Outro Music: Conro – Remember You Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

10 Huhti 20191h 15min

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Sex Out Loud at Swingset Takes Desire 2018

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode includes several other tracks from the Paradise album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

26 Maalis 20191h 24min

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Squishing Off - Getting Experimental with our Genitals

Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, and Lunabelle of Ninja Sexology dive deep into the many ways genitals love stimulation and chat about being experimental with genitals. Lunabelle talks about Squishing Off, the Tantus Anaconda, and the Tantus Hoss. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Pegboard Nerds – Try This Interstitial Music: Bishu feat. Mister Blonde – Get To Know Me Interstitial Music 2: Murdock feat. Veela – In Touch Outro Music: Direct & Killabyte feat. Matt Van – One Less Star Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our cold open includes music by Internet Archive titled: O N L I N E, off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

13 Maalis 20191h 9min

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions! Question 1: My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man. I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested? Question 2: My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air? Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager. Question 3: We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples. The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings. Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world. So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself? Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie". Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video. Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex . Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

2 Maalis 201959min

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

SS 345: Infinite Ways to Love and Play - A Nonmonogamy Panel

Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Lyndzi Miller, along with Kayla moderating, discuss nonmonogamy in a panel titled: Infinite Ways to Love and Play. This was recorded LIVE at the Tool Shed, An Erotic Boutique, in MIlwaukee, Wisconsin. Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: Tut Tut Child – Breathe (feat. Danyka Nadeau) Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

21 Helmi 20191h 44min

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

SS 344: Kira Royale and Mike - A Café Swingset Interview

Kira Royale and Mike joined us in 2018 for our trip to paradise, and when Dylan Thomas put the call out for interviews, they physically jumped at the opportunity. They discuss swinger spaces and what makes a space truly great, connecting with other people, and their experiences in the lifestyle. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already over 45% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Intro Music: CloudNone – Blue To Blue Outro Music: Kill Paris – Magic Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. This track is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

31 Tammi 201953min

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

SS 343: Total Desire Recall 2, Part 2!

JV Altharas, and Shara Bono once again join Cooper S. Beckett, Ginger Bentham, and Dylan Thomas to continue discussing the debauchery and delight that was… Life on the Swingset takes Desire 2018. Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com! Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes! You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe. The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify! Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%. Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com. Our Naughty in Nawlins Advertisement includes music by ローマンRoman titled: COBRA 320 SPEEDBOAT, off the Paradise album. Our episode music includes music by ローマンRoman and Pacintosh Mlus titled c r y s t a l p e p s i off the THAT'S WHAT I CALL VAPORWAVE album. These tracks are licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

23 Tammi 201959min

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

SS 342: Polyamorous Authors and Representation, with Kevin Patterson and Alana Phelan

Authors of the new Paperback, For Hire: Operator, Alana Phelan and Kevin Patterson, join Dylan Thomas, Cooper S. Beckett, and Ginger Bentham to talk about being polyamorous authors and writing with an eye on representation and being true to ourselves.   Join us in Paradise from November 2-9, 2019 for Swingset Takes Desire 2019! We are already 30% booked so get those early bird reservations in now! If you've previously attended with us you're eligible for a special offer! Visit swingsetdesire.com!   Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!   You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.   The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!   Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).   You can now order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.   Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

16 Tammi 20191h 7min

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