SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

SS 346: Gang Bang the Mailbag 38 - Ideas about Size, Smooth Divorce, and BBWs

Tonight the Swingset opens the mailbag... but does so carefully, as it's -20F outside. Dylan Thomas, Ginger Bentham, Bex Caputo, and Lunabelle answer your listener questions!

Question 1:

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. We have amazing sex, but I can't seem to get satisfied sexually. We have sex/oral sex at least twice a day, but it seems like the more I orgasm, the more I crave it. He's slightly below average size, and I don't have any problems with his size because he knows what to do with it, but he's very self-conscious about his size. I'd love to bring up the topic of polyamory to him, but I'm afraid he'll feel like I want to do it just to be with someone bigger. In fact, I'm 100% positive that is what he would think. I've always felt that I might be bisexual. I'm fascinated with being with a woman, but I don't know how he'll react. Of course, it's every guys fantasy to have a threesome, but because of his self-consciousness, I don't think he'd be interested. I won't lie, being with someone bigger is also a curiosity of mine. He has a phobia (?) of someone bigger changing the way my vagina feels to him, so even if he were interested in swinging, I don't think he'd want me to be with another man.

I love him very much, but I feel like there are a lot of things I want to experience and I'm not getting any younger (I'm 36). I don't want to break up over it, because I'm very happy with him, but I'd also like to see what his thoughts are about it. How can I bring it up in a subtle, non-threatening way that might make him more interested?

Question 2:

My spouse and I are considering divorce. We love each other so much, but 15 years of marriage has left it's scars. We both have other partners, and breaking up with them, or closing our relationship at all is not on the table. These relationships are long standing, and breaking up would hurt multiple people and breed resentment. Besides, the openness of our relationship is not the issue. Do you have any advice for maintaining secondary relationships while the primary is in trouble? How to maintain boundaries when your whole life is up in the air?

Hope that's not too long! I love your podcast, and I especially love listening to it at work, where everyone thinks I'm a sweet normal and slightly boring office manager.

Question 3:

We are always taught to think of ourselves as being sexy but we won't look at ourselves and imagine ourselves as being sexy individuals. One of the problems that I've seen recently is you look at profiles or even advertise it for things even the desire takeover is we talked a get-together of sexy people or people say we are looking for other sexy couples.

The man that couples look it up and see that she is a BBW or I am a short chunky guy we no longer fit that is sexy category and both know hurts her feelings hurt our feelings.

Why is it that BBW it's almost turned into a niche versus just a description of an individual? It's almost like you're not an individual you're a BBW so you don't fit into this category and I've seen this very very bad in the swingers world.

So my question would be for you all is have you seen this how open are you to BBWs in your opinion of BBWs and how suggestion would you make to BBWs to get themselves more confident comfortable and energetic about the lifestyle itself?

Lunabelle mentioned her post, "I Like Big Toys and I Cannot Lie".

Ginger mentioned the Unfuckwithable video.

Dylan mentioned Elle Chase's book, Curvy Girl Sex .

Bradford and Angela are coming to Desire… are you? Join us from November 2nd through the 9th this 2019 for Life on the Swingset's eighth trip to Desire! Visit swingsetdesire.com for more information!

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will get you invited to a private chat with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings, and listen to episodes commercial free, and with outtakes!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher! Also, follow us on Spotify!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Dylan Thomas is available for for podcast consultation and production work. If you're interested, visit www.dylanthethomas.com.

Jaksot(431)

SS 160: Fumbling Toward Non-Monogamy With Guest Marcia Baczynski

SS 160: Fumbling Toward Non-Monogamy With Guest Marcia Baczynski

I has been a while since anyone here on the Swingset could consider themselves "new to this" but it behooves us to every once in a while put ourselves back into that new and nervous state, where everything was the first time, and we were discovering as we go. We don't have a lot of great models of healthy non-monogamy these days. Learning to advocate for our partners and ourselves, figuring out what we want and how to ask for it, learning the difference between a request, an offer, and an invitation, and all in all... having fun, is what we talk about today. Marcia Maczynski joins us today, you can check her out at all her delicious urls, successfulnonmonogamy.com, askingforwhatyouwant.com, and goodgirlrecovery.com! Also, Blokus is a wonderful game and you should absolutely buy it from Amazon here!   Visit the Burlesque Toyshop and get a 20% discount when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Check out The Ethical Slut and Opening Up! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

4 Kesä 20141h 4min

SS 159: Flirting! with Reid Mihalko

SS 159: Flirting! with Reid Mihalko

Flirting is perhaps the most important aspect of beginning any romantic and sexual relationship. As Swingers you really need to be on top of your flirting. Since we meet so many people in non-monogamy, how do we know when to start flirting, and how do we make it work for us? We're including this as an unofficial companion to our "Swinging for Dummies" series since it just feels right, so take a listen and hear about how to get new interactions going, with the flirt, and with our friend Reid Mihalko! Also... for what the defintion of "is" is... Visit the Burlesque Toyshop and get a 20% discount when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Check out Sliquid's line of Sensual Massage Oils, including their Serenity and Unscented lines! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

29 Touko 20141h 1min

SS 158: A Primer On Swinging by Cooper Beckett at The Pleasure Chest Chicago

SS 158: A Primer On Swinging by Cooper Beckett at The Pleasure Chest Chicago

Cooper does a one man show Primer on Swinging recorded live at The Pleasure Chest in Chicago. All audience questions have been replaced by the dulcet tones of our own Dylan Thomas for their protection, and also for the amusement of our listeners.   Class description: "Cooper Beckett, from the podcast Life on the Swingset, takes you through the common peaks and valleys of beginning swinging, covering jealousy, safer sex practices, communication and more. Whether you're brand new to swinging, been doing it for years, or just fascinated by the idea, there's something here for everyone."

22 Touko 20141h 24min

SS 157: Sex Education for College Students with Megan Andelloux

SS 157: Sex Education for College Students with Megan Andelloux

When as adults we don't know what's going on with our sexuality, it can most often be chalked up to a lack of education. Education about risk, sure, but also education about the awesome things sex can bring. One woman looking to combat in a big way this lack of education is Megan Andelloux who speaks on an amazing variety of sexuality related topics at colleges across the nation. We discuss abstinence only education, glbtq awareness, sexual fluidity and identity, safer and risk aware sex, and the perils of teaching newly minted adults about the basics of biology and orgasm.   Visit the Burlesque Toyshop and get a 20% discount when you use the promo code swingburlesque at checkout! Check out the Guide to Getting it on by Paul Joannides! Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out! Come with us for The Swingset Takes Desire '14! Comments? Complaints? Comment here on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

14 Touko 20141h 8min

SS 156: The Single Male Swinger - Messing With The Bull

SS 156: The Single Male Swinger - Messing With The Bull

We still tend to treat the single male swinger as a problem, a pariah, when we host parties we wonder how to limit unpartnered male responses, we tense up at larger events where the male to female ratio may be wildly unbalanced, we are constantly on the lookout for the creep, the man who doesn't take no well, the recluse.   But really. What the fuck?   We're all just people, and we all just like to fuck, and when it comes down to it, we all know single men that have brought great joy, and great orgasms to many of ours or our partners' lives and really... that's what matters.   We take some time to deconstruct the single male swinger.

7 Touko 20141h 23min

SS 155: Handjobs & Fingering - This Week We're Strokin' Penises & Vulvas

SS 155: Handjobs & Fingering - This Week We're Strokin' Penises & Vulvas

Handjobs and Fingering!  Now that we have your attention, we want everyone to remember that there's lots of pleasure to be hand through the wonders of the partnered manual stimulation of someone's genitals with fingers! Now that you're obviously terribly turned on, take a listen and you'll hear us setting a solid definition of what counts as a handjob and a discussion on different terms and euphemisms for it, talking about how to give and receive risk aware handjobs, and talk about why we'd even bother giving handjobs when we can put penises in peoples' vaginas! Pay extra attention, Ginger and Dylan give particularly... "riveting" instructions on how to approach playing with women and their vulvas. It's good stuff. Dylan also realizes he's been confusing edging with edge play... He also confuses "hominem" with "onomatopoeia" so please excuse him.

21 Huhti 20141h 15min

SS 154: Gang Bang The Mailbag 13 - Erection Issues, Swinging Cliques & Gossip, & Body Types at Swing Clubs

SS 154: Gang Bang The Mailbag 13 - Erection Issues, Swinging Cliques & Gossip, & Body Types at Swing Clubs

We took and answered a question about erections, specifically that even after obtaining a prescription for viagra that a gentlemen still experiences trouble while swinging and that it's resulted in less return couples than he and his wife are happy with; Ginger is a big fan of people getting what they need, Cooper and Dylan relay their experiences and strategies about expectations and Miko really just lays down the law and says "it doesn't matter". We continue on with a conversation about gossip and cliques forming in a previously sexy and fun private online swinging group, dealing with high school level drama where Ginger suggests strongly stepping up as a leader and rebuilding the group with an ethos of inclusion. We close with a conversation about attraction and body types at a swing club, with Dylan chiming in about bodies being conduits to pleasure. We also call out Lady Cheeky for execution of the longest and most successful sustained campaign against the Swingset's concentration and ability to podcast ever, including highlights such as #madtitties and flirting with Dylan. You can also find her at SmutForSmarties.com.

15 Huhti 20141h 15min

SS 153: Gang Bang The Mailbag 12 - Black Rings, Herpes, Pre-Judgement, and Swinging as a Single Male

SS 153: Gang Bang The Mailbag 12 - Black Rings, Herpes, Pre-Judgement, and Swinging as a Single Male

Today we stick all our collective hands into our mailbag and pull your questions out! We're back for our twelve attempt at Gang Banging the Mailbag! We tackle questions about the black ring right handmovement, about discovering people you work with on swinger sites, on playing spontaneously with STIs, on attempting to open up after cheating, on judging people based on looks, and on swinging as a single male. Enjoy!

8 Huhti 20141h 26min

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