119: Not in the mood for sex? Let’s talk alternatives

119: Not in the mood for sex? Let’s talk alternatives

In this episode, I explore the nuance of sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and what it really means to meet each other in desire, even when you’re not fully “in the mood.” I share the deeper context behind a recent (and quite controversial) post about offering a blowjob as an alternative form of intimacy and unpack why this idea sparked so much conversation.

We dive into the differences between male and female arousal, spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why sexuality is far more complex than a simple yes or no. This episode opens up a more expansive way of thinking about intimacy, where communication, choice, and mutual satisfaction take the lead.

This is an invitation to move beyond rigid definitions of sex, to explore what feels truly aligned for you, and to approach intimacy from a place of empowerment, generosity, and self-awareness.

In this episode:

  • Why desire differs between men and women

  • The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

  • Why intimacy doesn’t always have to include penetration

  • How to stay connected when you’re not in the mood for sex

  • The role of communication, consent, and boundaries

  • Reframing giving (including oral sex) as a choice, not an obligation

  • How sexual empowerment transforms your relationship

Related episodes:

67: Embrace your desire style: explaining spontaneous vs. responsive desire →

69: The ultimate desire hack: how to have more sex in your longterm relationship →

Jaksot(121)

88. Motherhood is kicking by butt lately and other motherhood, marriage and life reflections

88. Motherhood is kicking by butt lately and other motherhood, marriage and life reflections

Yay, another intimate, personal update episode! Motherhood is a 24/7 workout that’s kicking my butt lately, and yet I love it! In this deeply personal episode, I share my experiences and reflections o...

9 Heinä 202427min

87. You are your body

87. You are your body

Do you often feel disconnected from your physical self? Are you more critical of your body than appreciative? In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the profound relationship we have wit...

25 Kesä 202411min

86. Sensuality vs Sexuality

86. Sensuality vs Sexuality

Have you ever wondered how understanding the difference between sensuality and sexuality can enhance your enjoyment of life? In this episode, I dive into a very interesting topic of sensuality versus ...

12 Kesä 202429min

85. Empowering Narrative meditation

85. Empowering Narrative meditation

What if you could rewrite your entire narrative around sexuality and pleasure, transforming it into a source of healing and empowerment? In today’s episode, I embark on a transformative journey thro...

28 Touko 202424min

84. A Birth Story - A Courageous and Joyful Twins Home Birth with Moira

84. A Birth Story - A Courageous and Joyful Twins Home Birth with Moira

Ever wondered about the transformative power within a birth story? Today, we embark on an extraordinary journey as my guest Moira shares her intimate and powerful experience of giving birth to twins a...

14 Touko 202435min

83: How to Release Feelings of Aversion and Ickiness Towards Your Lady Bits

83: How to Release Feelings of Aversion and Ickiness Towards Your Lady Bits

Ever wonder why you might feel a weird ick towards your lady bits? It's a question that surprises many women, but trust me, it's shockingly common. This episode of Yes Please dives deep into this very...

7 Touko 202417min

82: Primal Power Unleashed: Janneke's Home Birth Story

82: Primal Power Unleashed: Janneke's Home Birth Story

Today, I gift you another testament to the positive and uplifting home birth experience, with the hope that it will encourage pregnant women to approach birth with excitement and possibility. In this...

23 Huhti 202440min

81: Guided Practice: A 10-minute Self-Love Ritual

81: Guided Practice: A 10-minute Self-Love Ritual

Are you ready to transform how you see and treat yourself with a simple yet profoundly impactful daily ritual? This episode delves into the transformative power of a self-love ritual that will help up...

9 Huhti 202418min

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