Ep 263 - Elizabeth

Romi has always been an insatiably curious person who questions the status quo. This combination has led him to a life full of incredible adventures and human connection. Romi describes the first decade of his marriage as "monogamous, yet adventurous..." and he takes us along for the ride as he tells his powerful story of self-discovery. Today, he's a father with multiple deep partnerships and is in a polyamorous marriage. Not only does Romi live a life of adventure for himself, he's also dedicated his career to helping provide spaces for people to explore who they are. This led to the creation of SoulPlay! SoulPlay aspires to create a world where every individual is celebrated. Where unique desires and needs are acceptable. Where people can be free to be themselves, express themselves, and interact in a way that feels nourishing to them without fear of judgement or shame. SoulPlay 2024 is June 6-16 and you can learn more and get your tickets at www.soulplay.co. See you there!! Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

27 Maalis 20241h 28min

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about balancing breaking up with one partner while being madly in love with another AND what things should be considered when deciding whether or not to be more "out" about being non-monogamous. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.   Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

22 Maalis 202442min

Jules has explored a variety of relationship styles in her life and her preference would be to be non-monogamous. Yet, she has very intentionally chosen a monogamous life and partnership with her husband. We have an incredibly powerful conversation about the unavoidable grief that comes with nearly every choice we make in life. Jules also weaves her story with so many amazing communication and relationship tools. Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT, LPC, SEP, is a therapist, author, and teacher who is creating spaces where people can move into more self-compassion, self-trust, empowerment, and integrity. She regularly teaches and speaks to people from all around the world and translates new understandings in neurobiology into practices that can support brain change. She came into the therapy world as a client who argued that feelings didn’t matter only to find herself all these years later having followed neuroscience to the obvious conclusion: we are really feeling and meaning making beings driven by our interdependence. She believes that embracing that reality is key to finding purpose and deep joy. She is the author of Setting Boundaries that Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected and Empowered. She is an associate Instructor with the Coherence Institute and a core faculty member with Therapy Wisdom. She lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Adam, their daughter, Stella, and their rescue pointer mix, Layla. When she isn’t thinking about therapy or reading the latest neurobiology research, she can be found watching the British Baking Show while creating art shoes for her dear friends. Find all of Jules' work, books, and podcast on her website www.julianetaylorshore.com. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

20 Maalis 20241h 16min

Nikita grew up in India and came to the US about seven years ago when she was 19. As she began to embrace her queerness she started learning about new relationship structures and ultimately found non-monogamy through the kink scene in New York City. For the past few years she has been exploring solo polyamory and shares with us her beautiful, powerful, and challenging journey. For her, being non-monogamous is part of her identity and she sees it as an extension of her queerness. Nikita is also a community organizer, psychotherapist, and sex therapist based in NYC. Her website does a much better job of capturing the power of her work and who she is than we ever could. Please check out her bio below and visit her website for all of her incredible work. From Nikita's Website: I am a Mental Health Therapist-LP and Sex Therapist based in New York City. I graduated with my Master’s in Counseling in Mental Health and Wellness and a dual degree in LGBT Health, Education, and Social Services from New York University. I also hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology with a background in Women and Gender Studies from George Mason University. I identify as a queer South Asian immigrant woman. I’m also neurodivergent and non-monogamous. Aside from being a therapist, I have volunteered as a crisis counselor for the Trevor Project, worked as a graduate assistant for the New York University LGBTQ+ Center, and helped in the planning of social justice conferences. I have worked towards being a therapist for many years now and it is my greatest honor to arrive where I am. I grew up in Bangalore, a city in India where access to mental healthcare was limited and heavily stigmatized. We didn’t really talk about sex at all and the patriarchal culture often made it unsafe to embody our sexual selves. During my young adult years in Bangalore, I struggled to find a counselor who had a background in LGBTQ issues. The counselor that I talked to put me in a one size fits all box, bound by a traditional conception of heteronormative binary identities. The services I received seemed ingenuine and I felt alone. The counselor failed to understand the challenges that are faced by a queer woman in a conservative country. At that moment, a strong desire to uplift people who feel confused and alone was born. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

13 Maalis 20241h 7min

Jill and Jack are back and this conversation is so powerful! This interview stands on its own. You do not need to have listened to their first episode to get a ton out of this conversation. Their initial interview on Episode 97 was less than a year into their non-monogamous adventure together. They have spent the last four years doing absolutely mind-blowing work on themselves and their partnership. Today, they share how they have arrived in the best place they've ever been. Spoiler alert: It was a LOT of hard work! Jill and Jack have been married for over 22 years and open for about the last five. They come from a deeply religious background and are former Mennonites who made a pitstop as Baptists on their way out of organized religion about a decade ago. Their initial entry into non-monogamy came during the aftermath of Jack getting happy-ending massages while he was still a Deacon in the Baptist church. They go into much more detail, but the very short version is that Jill was like "Okay... No more lying. We're a team. And by the way, I want to know if other guys want me as well!" Today we get behind the scenes on how they worked together to improve their communication, came through another infidelity, overcame decades of resentment, smoothed out their gas and brake pattern, and are finding ways to be in the moment and enjoy life together. Seriously, don't skip it. Enjoy! Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

6 Maalis 20241h 23min

Today (February 28) is Metamour Day and we're so excited to be celebrating with Anna! While Metamour relationships are definitely a vibrant theme in this interview, we also dig into so much more! Anna is an incredible artist, writer, counselor, and storyteller who is filled with deep love, compassion, and joy... They bring all of this and more to our conversation in a beautifully vulnerable and gentle way. This isn't an episode to be skipping. Anna learned about non-monogamy during graduate school after having their heart completely shattered. They had very little sexual and dating experience and embarked on a powerful journey of self-discovery that continues today. Currently, Anna has been partnered with William for nearly 20 years, partnered with Joe for over a decade, and is exploring connecting with others in ways that honor each individual relationship. You can find Anna’s art on PositivelyPolyAnna.com, their counseling work at livelikelove.net, learn more about Metamour Day at MetamourDay.com, and support Anna’s work through their Patreon. AND! Don't forget to get your Metamour Day Postcards here and save 20% with the code "NNM"! Check out the full show notes here.   Get your Metamour Day postcards here!   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

28 Helmi 20241h 24min

Meshai and Fin team up together to answer amazing listener questions every fourth Friday of each month! Today's questions are about advice for a couple who is new to non-monogamy and they're in a mono/poly dynamic AND how do we meet our partners desires without giving up who we are if the two are not fully aligned. If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here! We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back! Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement. Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person. Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I am also working towards completing a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute and will be finished in late spring 2024.   Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

23 Helmi 202435min

Kim is a psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience helping clients work through difficulties with relationships and break-downs in communication, including issues of trust and infidelity. Along with her husband, she is also a swinger, a secret unknown to even her children or closest friends. Kim and her husband have been married for over 25 years and intentionally exploring non-monogamy and swinging for about the past eight. Their adventure started as bedroom talk and exploring through fantasy... Then, roughly 20 years ago they were on vacation and told their taxi driver they were looking for some adventure and he dropped them off at a sex club! Surprise! Their experience at the club carried them forward in and out of the world of swinging and non-monogamy for over a decade before eventually digging into the tools they needed to find a path that works for them. Throughout their journey they have been continually figuring out how to balance their own individual needs with the needs and agreements of their partnership. In a world where everything and everyone is continually evolving, they've learned the critical importance of having hard conversations and not shifting into autopilot. There's so much to Kim's incredible story! Unfortunately we couldn't pack it all into this interview... Luckily for you, Kim wrote a memoir called The Swinger in the Mirror! We highly recommend you check it out. Her story is full of incredible experiences and invaluable lessons. Check out the full show notes here.   Submit a question for our Ask Us Anything Episodes! Click here to join our upcoming Virtual Meet and Greets! Join the most amazing community of open-minded humans on the planet!   Check out our weekly peer support groups!   Skip the ads and sign up for the Premium Feed!   Click here to order your very own NNM shirt! $10 Off - Online STI Testing

21 Helmi 20241h 16min