Kids Don't Need Correction First. They Need Connection.

In this episode of In Conversation with Janina Fisher, Janina sits down with clinician, author, and attachment specialist Dafna Lender, LCSW, to explore the power of relationships in healing trauma—especially for children and families. Known for her work with TheraPlay and her book Integrative Attachment Family Therapy, Dafna shares the personal and professional journey that shaped her approach to therapy.

Together, Janina and Dafna reflect on how attachment disruptions and early relational trauma affect emotional development, and why healing must often involve not only the individual child but the entire family system. Their conversation highlights the importance of play, attunement, and embodied connection in helping children feel safe enough to heal. They also discuss how clinicians can support caregivers in becoming active partners in the therapeutic process, fostering deeper connection and long-term change.

Warm, thoughtful, and deeply human, this dialogue invites listeners to consider how connection, curiosity, and relationship remain at the heart of effective trauma treatment—for therapists, families, and the children they serve.

Key Takeaways

• Healing developmental trauma often requires working with the entire family system, not just the child.
  

• Attachment and relational safety are foundational for emotional regulation and growth.
  

• Play and experiential interactions can help children access connection and healing in ways that traditional talk therapy cannot.
  

• Supporting and empowering caregivers is essential to creating lasting change for children.
  

• Integrating body-based and attachment-focused approaches helps clinicians address trauma at both relational and physiological levels.

Bio:

Dafna is a family therapy expert and attachment specialist. Dafna is an international trainer and supervisor for practitioners who work with children and families. She is a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in both Theraplay® and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP), as well as an EMDR therapist. Dafna’s expertise is drawn from 29 years of working with families in many settings: at-risk after school programs, therapeutic foster care, in-home crisis stabilization, residential care and private practice. Dafna’s style, whether as a therapist or teacher, is combining the light-hearted with the profound by bringing a playful, intense and passionate presence to every encounter.

Dafna is author of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy (2023) and the co-author of Theraplay the Practitioner’s Guide (2020). She teaches and supervises clinicians in 15 countries in 4 languages: English, Hebrew, French and Spanish.

Website:https://www.dafnalender.com/

Book: Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship through Play, Co-regulation, and Meaning-Making