Self-improvement might be making you miserable (here’s how).

I mentioned these two videos:

🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA

🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk

💿 *Get my best practical ideas in your inbox (free)⇢*

→ Sign up: https://www.muchelleb.com.au/newsletter-signup

⛳️ Red Flags of Self-Improvement

→ Encourages isolating yourself (e.g. go ghost for 6 months, cut off everyone, etc.)

→ Over-focuses on “having discipline” and “taking action”, while ignoring emotional regulation, difficult days, different brains, flexibility, and letting go of self-criticism

→ Creates an “us vs them” dynamic that breeds division or superiority (e.g. “people like us vs people like them”)

→ Pushes rigid formulas, steps, or “right ways” of doing things without encouraging self-reflection or a personalised approach

→ Turns relationships into hierarchies (e.g. “high-value vs low-value people”)

→ Encourages self-rejection instead of self-acceptance

→ Feeds your ego or makes you feel “better than” others (e.g. “when you start healing, you won’t relate to people anymore”)

→ Encourages shame-based growth rather than curiosity-led growth

→ Promotes constant optimisation without emphasising space for fun, rest, and relationships

→ Pushes “more, more, more” instead of focusing on what’s actually effective (which is often less)

→ Over-identifies you with your problems in an unhelpful way (leans heavily on labels instead of helping you understand and change what’s actually going on)

☁️ *Join the Intention Community (it's replaced the Intention app)! ⇢*

→ _Every month, two brand-new tools (meditations, worksheets, videos, etc) drop, usually built around a recent video - so that you can take what you’ve learned and do something with it._

→ Join: https://intentioncommunity.circle.so/

🪞 *Organise your Life with the Calm Productivity Notion Pack. ⇢*

→ _"This notion pack is amazing!! I feel like it’s changing my life already and I’ve never been so impressed by a product." Alice Joyce_

→ Get the pack: https://shop.muchelleb.com.au/products/the-calm-productivity-notion-pack

💛 *If you liked this video, you'll probably like... ⇢*

→ The Behaviour Change Playlist _(when you want to start a new habit or change)_ : https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW3yd6NHmEVqXsWO6qv2AytfUtVeVf6f7

🍧 *I post more of this kind of thing on Instagram ⇢*

→ Follow me: http://instagram.com/muchelleb

🎧 *Prefer chattier deep-dives on productivity and behaviour change? ⇢*

→ I drop weekly chatty episodes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2HqznNA2v9McYirvqmUVvO?si=024ac78820b24443

💭 *Video timeline ⇢*

00:00 Everyone is quitting self-improvement

00:33 The first self-improvement trap

02:08 The next trap

03:40 Trap #3

04:56 Self-improvement trap #4

06:50 SOooo... What then?!

07:20 Firstly, definitely stop doing this

08:22 And start doing this

08:54 Please! do this

09:19 How I can be a better creator

10:23 Creating responsibly

12:40 How I want to create going forward

🔗 Anything I mentioned ⇢

🔗 If you don’t know what you want in 2026, start here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYLk8u8e_UA

🔗 Video on “the self-criticism cycle”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCxuFdIPqJk

🔗 Tim Ferris Blog Post on The Self Help Trap: https://tim.blog/2026/03/04/the-self-help-trap/