When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four walls are not where the happiness lives, and the asset you are protecting is far less valuable than the years you would spend chained to a dead relationship to keep it.

In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle answers two listener questions that sit at opposite ends of the romantic life cycle. A 28-year-old wants to convert her marriage to a 40-year-old husband into a business partnership to keep the house they just bought. A 70-year-old hopeless romantic is troubled to learn relationships are transactional and wonders why the men chasing her are half her age.

Dr. Lisle unpacks the previous investment trap, the real reason housing has become a financial trap, why every interaction is a cost-benefit analysis without being cold, the difference between lust mechanisms and love instincts, and why a soft flirty stance attracts casual mating strategy suitors no matter your age.

Key question covered: Are all relationships transactional, and if so, how do you tell the difference between someone activating your love instincts and someone running a cost-benefit analysis on your house, your pension, and your car?

Beat Your Genes is co-hosted by evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle, PhD and Nathan Gershfeld

New episodes every other week.

YouTube: youtube.com/@BeatYourGenes

beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle: esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld: fastingescape.com

X: @BeatYourGenes

Intro and outro: City of Happy Ones. Ferenc Hegedus. Licensed for use. Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Jaksot(397)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Huhti 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Huhti 1h

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

Q1: I am an artist and I will occasionally use AI for reference material.  But I still sketch the image out onto canvas and then paint it all by hand.  My issue is when other artists create AI artwork...

24 Maalis 56min

377: Dr. Lisle ESCAPES Dubai … to talk about Acceptance/Commitment therapy

377: Dr. Lisle ESCAPES Dubai … to talk about Acceptance/Commitment therapy

Q1: Dear Dr. Lisle,  I am curious what your thoughts are on Acceptance and Commitment therapy? I am a psychologist, and I have to use this method at my job, and I have noticed that some of the points ...

11 Maalis 1h 17min

376:  He wants the physical, She wants the emotional

376: He wants the physical, She wants the emotional

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 2:10 A little bit about Bitcoin 2:40 Q1: He wants sex, she wants connection 10:45 Females are defensive until they see love cues 22:25 Suspected key issue 29:15 Cou...

5 Maalis 56min

375: Am I Still Hot? The OCD-Like Anxiety of Aging

375: Am I Still Hot? The OCD-Like Anxiety of Aging

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. Dear Dr. Lisle, This question is about coming to terms with aging. I know that being "young" i...

5 Helmi 48min

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:20 Q1: Single mom asks for advice on dealing with her out of co...

28 Tammi 1h

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