“I AM SIMPLY BETTER THAN EVERYONE”

A caller is habitually cheated on, a caller’s mom runs away to become a Disney influencer, I argue with a caller about bitcoin and God, and a final caller talks about his life studying ocean trash. I...

12 Maalis 20251h 1min

I talk on the phone with the woman who married her horse in last episode’s Geckmail. She catches me up on their marriage, her life philosophies at 60, and her next big adventure involving a mobile cam...

9 Maalis 20251h 15min

Email topics include marrying a horse, a never-ending Tinder date, solo-traveling, and a bunch of other stuff. I like geckmail. I hope you like it too. I am a gecko. I wonder how many windows you can ...

5 Maalis 20251h

GECKMAIL: “I SEXTED MY DRIVING INSTRUCTOR” Email topics include sexting your driving instructor, corporate greed, the comedown after touring, rehab, bidets, and other things. I am a gecko. There was ...

2 Maalis 20251h 1min

I rant at a caller who enjoys fishing, a caller tries to find his footing as an animator, and a final caller longs to change their alcoholic lifestyle. Please silence your phone. I am a gecko. COME S...

26 Helmi 20251h 5min

A couple pauses their date night to sit in their parked car and chat, I try to convince a caller not to buy a Porsche, a caller ponders celebrity nonsense, and a final caller gets cucked by God. You ...

23 Helmi 20251h 9min

A caller experiences an episode of existential dread after taking some time off work, and shares their perspective on romance, figuring shit out, and just being alive in 2025. He called at a time that...

19 Helmi 202558min

After talking abstractly about life for a bit, a caller explains how he wound up on a Japanese TV show with his dentist’s cousin. Later a caller tries to start a legal weed business instead of followi...

16 Helmi 20251h 25min