20 Years Married to a Narcissist: Serial Cheating, Coercive Control & Getting Out

I sit down with Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out, a domestic violence advocate and high-conflict divorce strategist who spent 20 years married to a narcissistic serial cheater and sex addict.

Lisa's story starts the way so many do — he was older, seemed stable, made her feel chosen. Within months there were phone numbers in his wallet. He confessed to an affair right after the wedding. He went to therapy and convinced her the therapist said the problem was that she needed to learn how to meet his needs. For 20 years, the cheating never stopped. He was soliciting women from the honeymoon through the end of the marriage, writing scripts for their intimate encounters, controlling what she wore, and threatening to cheat if she didn't comply — all while playing the role of devoted husband and father to the outside world.

We talk about how coercive control works when there's no physical violence, how a narcissist uses intelligence and charm as weapons, why she stayed as long as she did, and what it took to finally leave. Lisa also shares how she represented herself in her high-conflict divorce, ultimately helped change Connecticut law around domestic violence, and now helps other survivors navigate the legal system and rebuild their lives. If you're in a marriage that looks fine on the outside but feels wrong on the inside, or if you've ever wondered whether what you're experiencing is abuse, this episode will hit close to home.

If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit thehotline.org for confidential support.

Guest Info.

🌐 https://beentheregotout.com/

https://www.youtube.com/ ⁨@BeenThereGotOut⁩

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