Ep.87: Queer Love, Borders, and Long Distance Relationships with Jeremy Atherton Lin

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In this intimate and intellectually rich episode, I sit down with writer Jeremy Atherton Lin to explore the themes of his book Deep House — a powerful blend of queer love story, cultural history, immigration, and political resistance. We talk about what it means to build a relationship across borders, how laws and systems shape queer intimacy, and why the real issue for many queer couples was never simply marriage equality, but the right to belong together in the first place. Jeremy reflects on meeting his British partner during the rise of DOMA, navigating an “undocumented” queer life together, and how love itself can become both deeply personal and quietly political.

We also dive into themes of home, surrender, migration, queer history, and the emotional reality of long-distance relationships. Jeremy shares why he wanted to preserve forgotten queer stories from the past, why erotic and domestic intimacy matter in queer storytelling, and how borders continue to shape modern queer life even after legal progress. Along the way, we explore fears many listeners will relate to — wondering whether long-distance love is worth it, fearing loneliness, and questioning how to create stability in an uncertain world. This episode is about love, belonging, and what queer relationships can teach us about freedom and connection.

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ABOUT JEREMY ATHERTON LIN

Jeremy Atherton Lin is the author of Deep House, a USA Today national bestseller and one of the Publishers Weekly Top 10 Best Books of 2025. His debut Gay Bar received the National Book Critics Circle Award for Autobiography and was named a book of the year by The New York Times, NPR, Vogue, Spin, and Artforum, among others. Jeremy’s essays appear in numerous places including the Paris Review, the Times Literary Supplement, and the Yale Review. His cover profiles of queer cultural figures include Sam Smith for GQ, Jeremy O Harris for Fantastic Man, and Wolfgang Tillmans for Frieze. His sound programs have been broadcast on NTS Radio. He is based primarily in St Leonards-on-Sea, a coastal town in England.

Website: https://jeremyathertonlin.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyathertonlin/

Deep House Book: https://jeremyathertonlin.com/deep-house/

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