Ayahuasca & The Dark Night of the Soul

Imagine living your dream life — and then Ayahuasca shows you it's all going to burn to the ground.

This is the most personal story I've ever shared. A story about love, identity, control, betrayal, and collapse.

The relationship I thought would become my future family. The dream house. The animals I loved like children. The success. The identity I had spent years constructing.

Suddenly a vision showed me it would all go away.

And I refused to accept it.

What many call the dark night of the soul, I now understand as the dark night of control — the desperate attempt to hold together something life is asking you to release.

I share how I met my fiancé after an ayahuasca vision that predicted him before we ever crossed paths. The ecstatic love that followed. The slow unraveling as secrecy, emotional volatility, dependency, gaslighting, and deep relational fractures entered our lives.

And how, over time, I abandoned my own truth to preserve the relationship.

This episode also covers:

• Trauma bonding and spiritual self-abandonment
• The cost of ignoring intuition
• Empathy without boundaries
• The psychological toll of long-term gaslighting
• Why spiritual people still lose themselves in unhealthy relationships
• Identity collapse after awakening
• What ayahuasca taught me about truth, surrender, and integrity
• The grace hidden inside destruction

I talk about losing nearly everything. And I talk about what came after.

How life eventually carried me somewhere I could never have controlled my way into.

This isn't a polished spiritual success story. It's about what happens when structures built from fear finally collapse — and what becomes possible when you stop fighting the river.

If you're in a season of loss, confusion, heartbreak, identity collapse, or spiritual crisis, this episode is for you.

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