How to Click With Anyone, Read Every Room, and Stop Absorbing Other People's Stress | Kate Murphy

How to Click With Anyone, Read Every Room, and Stop Absorbing Other People's Stress | Kate Murphy

The neuroscience of human connection: your nervous system is picking up other people's signals all day without your knowledge. Here's how to use that.

Journalist Kate Murphy's eclectic essays and articles for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, Agence France-Presse, and Texas Monthly have been shared and commented on by millions. She is known for her fresh and accessible style and ability to distill complex subjects, particularly the science behind human interactions. Her first book, You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters, was published in thirty-two languages and has become required reading in interpersonal communication courses at high schools, colleges, and universities worldwide.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What "interpersonal synchrony" is and the science behind it
  • Why some people just click — and others don't
  • How individualism and technology are working against our need to connect
  • What "affective presence" is –– and how much you can actually change your vibe
  • Interoception – and why you need to understand your own body before you can read others
  • The dark side of synchrony: emotional fusion and borrowed emotions
  • Why audio-only calls are better than Zoom for real connection
  • How physical distance controls your ability to sync
  • "Emotional aperture" — how to read a room like a trial lawyer
  • The secret to bonding with other people

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Additional Resources:

Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!

This episode is sponsored by:

Spark — Clean energy and focus with zero sugar. Get 30% off and free shipping with code HAPPIER at https://www.drinkspark.com.

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How To Handle AI Anxiety: A Computer Scientist and a Buddhist Teacher On Managing Uncertainty | Cal Newport & Matthew Brensilver

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Longevity Secrets (And Controversies) From The Blue Zones | Dan Buettner

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The Evidence for Aliens, the Afterlife, Bigfoot, Sea Monsters, and More | Miguel Sancho

The Evidence for Aliens, the Afterlife, Bigfoot, Sea Monsters, and More | Miguel Sancho

An investigative journalist on why reincarnation, ghosts, and unexplained phenomena deserve more scrutiny; plus, why our need to believe in something bigger isn't something to be embarrassed about. Mi...

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You Can Stop Fixing Yourself: Buddhist Advice on Boundaries, Rituals, and Dropping Your Self-Aggression | Susan Piver

You Can Stop Fixing Yourself: Buddhist Advice on Boundaries, Rituals, and Dropping Your Self-Aggression | Susan Piver

Plus: Why you're a "mystic" even though you don't know it, how to find the "magic" in meditation, and the power of simple apologies (and cleaning the dishes). Susan Piver is a 30 year student of Tibet...

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You Can Get Through It: How to Handle the Hardest Things That Will Ever Happen to You | Dr. Lucy Hone

You Can Get Through It: How to Handle the Hardest Things That Will Ever Happen to You | Dr. Lucy Hone

Why the five stages of grief are a myth, a go-to phrase for when everything's falling apart, and three steps for getting through loss. Dr. Lucy Hone is an adjunct fellow at the University of Canterbur...

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The Science of Journaling: How 15 Minutes of Writing Can Free Up Your Brain, Improve Your Health, and Make You a Better Friend | Dr. James Pennebaker

The Science of Journaling: How 15 Minutes of Writing Can Free Up Your Brain, Improve Your Health, and Make You a Better Friend | Dr. James Pennebaker

Writing can reduce overthinking, rumination, and anxiety. Here's what the researcher who pioneered the science suggests. James Pennebaker is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Texas...

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The Non-BS Science of Manifestation: How Your Imagination Can Help With Pain, Anxiety, Conflict, and Recovery | Cassi Vieten

The Non-BS Science of Manifestation: How Your Imagination Can Help With Pain, Anxiety, Conflict, and Recovery | Cassi Vieten

How elite athletes use visualization to improve performance, why visualization can turbo-charge physical recovery, and the mental trick that can make your nervous system feel safe. Cassi Vieten, PhD, ...

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