263. Growing Up Nine: Siblings, Perspective & the Gift of a Big Family

Welcome back to the podcast! Today's episode is a little different and honestly really special to me. I'm sitting down with my youngest brother, Taylor, for a conversation I've wanted to have for a long time. I'm the oldest of nine kids, Taylor is the youngest, and after my daughter Indy randomly asked me why Taylor had never been on the podcast, I realized this was finally the perfect time to record it.

Recently there's been a lot of conversation online around large families, especially after influencer Hannah Neeleman announced the birth of her ninth child. And watching the reactions was fascinating because people seemed split into a few camps: admiration, criticism, and curiosity. Some people thought it looked beautiful. Others questioned whether it was realistic or healthy. And then there were people who were simply fascinated asking, what is it actually like growing up in a family that big? It made me realize—we actually have a pretty unique perspective on that conversation.

One of my favorite parts of this episode was reading a paper I wrote as a teenager when my parents announced they were having their ninth baby… Taylor. And to be honest, my initial reaction wasn't exactly excitement. I remember worrying about the comments people made about our family, feeling overwhelmed by the idea of "one more," and wondering how our family could possibly stretch any further. But then I read the ending of the paper, written after Taylor was born, where I admitted something completely different: that our family felt more complete because of him. Reading it back now was hilarious, emotional, and honestly a reminder of how perspective changes over time.

Taylor shares what it was actually like growing up as the youngest of nine, and one thing I loved hearing was that what looked "crazy" from the outside just felt normal to him. He talks about how much he loved always having people around, growing up close to nieces and nephews because of our age gaps, and now becoming genuine friends with our siblings as adults. We also talked about how closeness in families doesn't just happen automatically—it comes from prioritizing each other, staying connected, and intentionally creating time together.

More than anything, this episode left me feeling deeply grateful. Grateful for siblings, for cousins, for the relationships that continue long after childhood, and especially for my parents. As we talked, I found myself reflecting on how much they gave to create the life we had. And maybe the biggest takeaway from this conversation is this: family life may not always look efficient or easy from the outside, but the relationships built inside of it can become some of the greatest gifts of your entire life.

LINKS:

All Links Family Brand!

• stan.store/familybrand
• familybrand.com/quiz
• familybrand.com/retreats.

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 00:00 – Introducing Taylor + why this episode happened
• 02:00 – Melissa and Taylor's 17-year age gap
• 04:00 – The online debate around large families
• 06:00 – Melissa reads the paper she wrote about baby #9
• 09:00 – "He makes our family complete"
• 10:00 – What it was like being the youngest of nine
• 12:00 – Did the older siblings resent babysitting?
• 13:00 – The lasting effects of having a big family
• 14:00 – Becoming friends with siblings as adults
• 15:00 – The "ingredients" that create sibling closeness
• 17:00 – Melissa's sisters trip to Paris
• 19:00 – Challenges of growing up in a large family
• 20:00 – How their mom raised nine kids with one arm
• 22:00 – "Shoutout to moms everywhere"
• 23:00 – Final reflections on family, siblings, and gratitude