Why Do Victims Go Back or Stay?

Why Do Victims Go Back or Stay?

A question often asked about domestic abuse situations is, "Why don't they just leave?" (or similarly "Why did you stay so long?")

Ellen Higgins and Deborah Hackworth explore this question and its answers with host Claudia Pahls on this episode.

First, the question should be reframed to "Why does the abuser keep abusing?" We need to stop blaming the victim for being in an abusive situation.

Even when a victim leaves, the abuse rarely stops. It may stop for them, but the perpetrator will likely continue to abuse if they don't change their behavior.

Also, since abuse is all about power and control, when a victim tries to leave and the perpetrator feels like they're losing that control, abuse escalates. With that in mind, and realizing that the relationship has its good times, leaving becomes difficult.

Deb illustrates the situation well with a metaphor. Each reason not to leave becomes a cinder block.

  • Love- The victim still feels love
  • Finances- The abuser may hold the finances and the victim relies on them
  • Children- Victims worry about what will happen to their children if they leave
  • Pets- Victims may worry about threats to pets
  • No plan- It isn't the fairy tale we see in media that a victim just decides and leaves and the abuser realizes their ways. It takes on average 8 times for someone to try to leave before it's a permanent decision.

Visit https://www.dasasmi.org/ for resources or call our 24-hour hotline at 800-828-2023.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(121)

Survivor Story - Using Poetry to Heal from Family Abuse - Author Carol White

Survivor Story - Using Poetry to Heal from Family Abuse - Author Carol White

Carol White, Doctor of Nursing Practice and abuse survivor, shares her mother's legacy of surviving her own abuse through publishing her mother's poetry.'My mother was a survivor of domestic violence ...

13 Huhti 202226min

Year 3 of the Pandemic - How Are We Serving Our Clients?

Year 3 of the Pandemic - How Are We Serving Our Clients?

The COVID-19 pandemic that began in March of 2020 is now in its third year. While it seems we're in an improving environment, it's still something we're all dealing with. How has the pandemic affected...

30 Maalis 20220s

Survivor Story - Author Silas Caste, Interrupted Dreams

Survivor Story - Author Silas Caste, Interrupted Dreams

Silas Caste, single father of 2 boys and the author of Interrupted Dreams, joins Dan on this episode to share hi survivor story and his journey to becoming an author. His fictional thriller is based o...

16 Maalis 202244min

What is Intimate Partner Violence?

What is Intimate Partner Violence?

What is intimate partner violence? Is intimate partner violence the same as domestic violence? What are the differences? The term intimate partner violence describes physical, sexual, or psychologic...

2 Maalis 202221min

Survivor Story - Surviving Childhood Abuse with Author Christina Vitagliano

Survivor Story - Surviving Childhood Abuse with Author Christina Vitagliano

Christina Vitagliano is an author, entrepreneur, and the founder of the successful Family entertainment concept, Monster Mini Golf. She's also a survivor of childhood abuse. In this episode, Christina...

16 Helmi 202233min

Surviving the Holidays as a Survivor

Surviving the Holidays as a Survivor

The holidays can be tough for anyone. They're especially difficult for victims and survivors of abuse. Oftentimes they're immersed in family where their abuser lives. Or perhaps the question of, "Wher...

24 Marras 202129min

How St. Joe County Prosecutor's Office Helps Victims and Survivors

How St. Joe County Prosecutor's Office Helps Victims and Survivors

Assistant Prosecutor St Joe County Debbie Davis joins Claudia Pahls on this episode to discuss how the Court is helping victims of violence.———————————If you need resources or help in any way, call ou...

27 Loka 202132min

Survivor Story - How Amy Malin Finds Healing by Giving

Survivor Story - How Amy Malin Finds Healing by Giving

Host Dan Moyle met Amy Malin while conducting a business podcast interview. When she mentioned that she was a survivor of abuse, and how that was one factor in why she gave to others, Dan knew her sto...

8 Syys 20210s

Suosittua kategoriassa Koulutus

rss-murhan-anatomia
psykopodiaa-podcast
adhd-podi
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
dear-ladies
rss-niinku-asia-on
kesken
rss-uskonto-on-tylsaa
rss-liian-kuuma-peruna
rss-hereilla
rahapuhetta
puhutaan-koiraa
rss-arkea-ja-aurinkoa-podcast-espanjasta
aamupore
rss-rahamania
aamukahvilla
rss-eron-alkemiaa
rss-laadukasta-ensihoitoa
rss-monarch-talk-with-alexandra-alexis
rss-narsisti