Seen&Heard | Mariam Shapera (S9E09)

Mariam Shapera is a family doctor. In medical school, she got one lecture on autism, and it was clinical and deficit-focused. Then she became an autism mom, and everything she thought she knew got rewritten by her own son. In this Seen and Heard episode, Mariam sits down with Rob to talk about raising her nine-year-old son, who is minimally speaking and autistic, alongside his neurotypical older sister and younger brother. She and her husband, also a physician, started noticing differences before his first birthday. He was diagnosed at three. They began ABA and speech therapy even earlier, at two and a half. Mariam brings a rare double perspective — doctor and parent — and she is direct about what the medical world gets wrong. Clinicians need to trust parents. A child cannot learn while dysregulated, so connection and regulation have to come first. And families have to actually click with their therapists for any of it to work. What you'll hear: - The early signs she and her husband noticed before age one - Why the developmental assessment felt like a list of everything he couldn't do - The diagnosis day, and the psychiatrist who delivered it with hope instead of fear - Why he was given "moderate autism" and no level, and why that adds confusion - Life built around routine and predictability, and how she preps him for change - A recent win: his speech opening up, starting conversations, sharing wants and likes - His strengths: perfect pitch, a love of nonfiction, and teaching himself to read - Her message to other doctors, and to other autism parents "You really have to trust the parents. The parents know what they think." — Mariam Shapera ABOUT THE GUEST Mariam Shapera is a family doctor and autism mom. She and her husband, also a physician, have three children: a nine-year-old son who is minimally speaking and autistic, an older neurotypical daughter, and a younger son. They began ABA and speech therapy when he was two and a half, and he was formally diagnosed at three. Mariam advocates for a more compassionate, parent-centered approach in clinical settings. ABOUT YOUR HOST Rob Gorski is the founder of The Autism Dad, a blog and podcast dedicated to supporting parents raising kids on the autism spectrum. As a dad of three autistic sons with over 25 years of experience, Rob brings lived experience, honesty, and heart to every conversation. Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, lands December 29, 2026 from Fair Winds Press. Updates and preorder: theautismdad.com/book SPONSOR Best Part Kids — a sensory-friendly multivitamin for selective eaters, created by dietitian Brittyn Coleman. Use code THEAUTISMDAD for 10% off at https://BestPartKids.com. Mightier — a clinically proven app that helps kids build emotional regulation skills through biofeedback-based video games. Visit https://mightier.com and use code theautismdad22 for 10% off. RESOURCES MENTIONED More Seen and Heard episodes: listen.theautismdad.com Preorder Rob's book: theautismdad.com/book If you found this episode helpful, please follow The Autism Dad Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Visit listen.theautismdad.com for past episodes, resources, and ways to support the show. You can find Rob at theautismdad.com, on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at The Autism Dad, and on YouTube at The Autism Dad. New episodes drop every week at listen.theautismdad.com.