The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Huhti 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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A Conversation With Vice President Vance

A Conversation With Vice President Vance

Vice President JD Vance met with the new pope a few days ago. He then sat down with The Times to talk about faith, immigration, the law and the partisan temptation to go too far.Ross Douthat, an opinion columnist and the host of the new podcast “Interesting Times,” discusses their conversation.Guest: Ross Douthat, an Opinion columnist and the host of the “Interesting Times” podcast.Background reading: Ross’s conversation with JD Vance.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday.Photo: The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Touko 51min

Trump Said Peace in Ukraine Would Come Easy. It Hasn’t.

Trump Said Peace in Ukraine Would Come Easy. It Hasn’t.

President Trump once approached the challenge of ending Russia’s war in Ukraine as a straight-ahead deal that he could achieve easily. But after months of trying, he’s signaling that he might actually walk away.Michael Crowley, who covers U.S. foreign policy for The New York Times, discusses the recent phone call between Mr. Trump and President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, and what it tells us about how the conflict could end.Guest: Michael Crowley, a reporter covering the State Department and U.S. foreign policy for The New York Times.Background reading: Mr. Trump’s new position on the war in Ukraine: Not my problem.In his call with Mr. Trump, Mr. Putin notched a diplomatic win, with an economic caveat.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Tyler Hicks/The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Touko 24min

A Reckoning Over Joe Biden’s Health

A Reckoning Over Joe Biden’s Health

Over the past few days, the health of former President Joseph R. Biden Jr. has been called into focus with the disclosure that he has an aggressive form of prostate cancer.At the same time, Democrats are undertaking a painful re-examination of what went wrong with Joe Biden’s campaign for re-election, and the Trump White House has released embarrassing audio of Biden being interviewed.The Times journalists Michael Barbaro, Reid J. Epstein, Lisa Lerer and Tyler Pager sit down to make sense of it all. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Touko 36min

No More Refugees, Trump Said. Except White South Africans.

No More Refugees, Trump Said. Except White South Africans.

For decades, white South Africans ruled with an iron fist, overseeing the country’s apartheid system of racial oppression.Why is President Trump now welcoming them to the United States as victims?John Eligon, the Johannesburg bureau chief for The New York Times, explains how the MAGA movement became obsessed with Afrikaners.Guest: John Eligon, the Johannesburg bureau chief for The New York Times.Background reading: The road to Mr. Trump’s embrace of white South Africans.White South Africans granted refugee status by Mr. Trump arrived in the U.S. last week.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Ilan Godfrey for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Touko 30min

‘Modern Love’: How to Fall (and Stay) in Love

‘Modern Love’: How to Fall (and Stay) in Love

When did you realize you were falling in love? The Modern Love podcast asked listeners this question, and the voice messages came pouring in. Listeners sent in stories that happened over dinner dates, on subway rides, while watching sunsets or at concerts. They described love at first sight, love built over time and much more. Today, we hear some of the most moving and surprising listener messages. Then, the Modern Love editor Daniel Jones discusses how we fall in love, and what the famous “36 Questions That Lead to Love” reveal about that process. And finally, Mandy Len Catron, the writer who popularized the 36 questions in her Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This," tells us whether she’s still in love with the same man 10 years later. For more Modern Love, search for the show wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.  Editors note: After this Modern Love episode was originally published, Mandy Len Catron got married. You can read about her wedding in the Vows section of the Times.  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Touko 51min

'The Interview': Rutger Bregman Wants to Save Elites From Their Wasted Lives

'The Interview': Rutger Bregman Wants to Save Elites From Their Wasted Lives

The historian and writer is on a mission to get the best and brightest out of their lucrative jobs and into morally ambitious work. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Touko 42min

Birthright Citizenship Reaches The Supreme Court

Birthright Citizenship Reaches The Supreme Court

On Thursday, the Trump administration’s effort to limit birthright citizenship ended up in front of the Supreme Court.Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court for The New York Times, discusses the White House’s unusual legal strategy for defending its plan, and what it might mean for the future of presidential power.Guest: Adam Liptak, covers the Supreme Court. A graduate of Yale Law School, he practiced law for 14 years before joining The Times in 2002.Background reading: Adam Liptak wrote about the unusual features of the birthright citizenship case.Adam also wrote about the Supreme Court justices across the ideological spectrum who have been critical of nationwide injunctions, which apply to everyone affected by a challenged law, regulation or executive action.Charlie Savage and Alan Feuer shared four takeaways from the birthright citizenship case.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Drew Angerer/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Touko 30min

The End of Fast Fashion?

The End of Fast Fashion?

For years, American consumers have been able to spend next to nothing on the latest fashion trends, thanks in large part to Chinese clothing companies like Shein and Temu. These businesses have long used a loophole to send millions of packages a day into the U.S. from China tax-free.Now, President Trump is closing that loophole, even as he de-escalates his larger trade war with China, and prices are going up.Meaghan Tobin, who covers business and technology in Asia, discusses whether this might be the end for fast fashion.Guest: Meaghan Tobin, a correspondent for The New York Times, covering business and technology in Asia.Background readingMeaghan Tobin and Agnes Chang write about President Trump’s latest changes to taxes on small packages from China.Meaghan Tobin explains how a U.S. tax loophole supercharged China’s exports.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Qilai Shen for The New York TimesUnlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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