The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Huhti 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Wednesday, Aug 9, 2017

Wednesday, Aug 9, 2017

From his golf course in New Jersey on Tuesday, President Trump threatened North Korea “fire and fury” and warned that the country “best not make any more threats to the United States.” How should we interpret the latest escalation in tensions with Pyongyang? Plus: Why American law may block the biggest medical breakthrough in decades. Guests: Peter Baker, chief White House correspondent for The Times; Carl Zimmer, who writes about biology and genetics. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Elo 201718min

Tuesday, Aug. 8, 2017

Tuesday, Aug. 8, 2017

Why Vice President Mike Pence is denouncing New York Times reporting about his political future and publicly stating his allegiance to the president. And the stolen childhoods of young Syrians who endured the traumas of civil war and Islamic State rule. Guests: Glenn Thrush, a White House correspondent; Somini Sengupta, a foreign correspondent; Dr. Rajia Sharhan, who treats the displaced children of Syria. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Elo 201721min

Monday, Aug. 7, 2017

Monday, Aug. 7, 2017

As a teenager, Noura Jackson was convicted of killing her mother, and then spent nine years in prison. But from the start, prosecutors possessed a document that could have set her free. Why the omission of evidence, despite its life-altering consequences, is hard to detect — and rarely punished. Guest: Emily Bazelon, a writer for The New York Times Magazine who has been following Ms. Jackson’s case. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Elo 201724min

Friday, Aug. 4, 2017

Friday, Aug. 4, 2017

In 2013, Abigail Fisher sued the University of Texas, saying she had been discriminated against for being white. Now, some students are suing Harvard, saying they were discriminated against for being Asian-American. Both lawsuits can be traced to the same man. But this time, the White House is taking up his cause. Guests: Michael Wang, one of dozens of Asian-American students who have filed a complaint against Harvard; Anemona Hartocollis, who is reporting on the lawsuit; Edward Blum, the man behind the action; Nikole Hannah-Jones, who writes about race and education for The New York Times Magazine. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Elo 201722min

Thursday, Aug. 3, 2017

Thursday, Aug. 3, 2017

President Trump is threatening to undermine the Affordable Care Act, President Barack Obama’s signature legislation. But what if the real threat to Obamacare was put there by Mr. Obama himself — and could bring the whole thing down? Guests: Carl Hulse, chief Washington correspondent; Ken Janda, the chief executive of an insurance provider in Houston. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Elo 201719min

Wednesday, Aug. 2, 2017

Wednesday, Aug. 2, 2017

An expansion of power. A rewriting of the Constitution. Is democracy coming to an end in Venezuela? Plus: What does it mean for a retired four-star general to enter a chaotic White House? Guests: Nicholas Casey, our Andes bureau chief; Michael D. Shear, White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Elo 201723min

Tuesday, Aug. 1, 2017

Tuesday, Aug. 1, 2017

He burned fast and bright. A play-by-play of the brief and tumultuous tenure of Anthony Scaramucci. And how President Putin’s bet on a Trump presidency backfired spectacularly. Guests: Glenn Thrush, a White House correspondent for The New York Times; David E. Sanger, chief Washington correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Elo 201720min

Bonus: Introducing 'The New Washington'

Bonus: Introducing 'The New Washington'

“The Daily” is launching a new series of interviews that take you inside Trump’s Washington. Every week for the next few months, you’ll hear an interview with the political figure you want to hear from most, with analysis and commentary from Michael Barbaro, Carl Hulse and their colleagues in the D.C. bureau of The New York Times. In this introductory episode, Michael and Carl discuss the characters remaking Washington. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to "The Daily." Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

31 Heinä 201715min

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