The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Huhti 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

On Monday night, two more Republican senators came out against the health care bill. Is that the fatal blow? Guests: Carl Hulse, who covers Congress for The Times; Maggie Haberman, who traveled with President Trump to France last week. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uC0Zhh. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

18 Heinä 201716min

Monday, July 17, 2017

Monday, July 17, 2017

Early in his presidency, Donald J. Trump called for a federal commission to investigate an issue that was personal for him: voter fraud in the 2016 election. The de facto leader of that commission is Kris Kobach, the Kansas secretary of state and a leading advocate of restrictive voting laws. Here’s what you need to know about Mr. Kobach, his beliefs and what he has accomplished in Kansas. Guests: Michael Wines, a Times correspondent who has written about the president’s commission; Elaine Bowers, a Republican state senator in Kansas. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2gMxzr0. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Heinä 201720min

Friday, July 14, 2017

Friday, July 14, 2017

Donald Trump Jr. sends an email. Hours later, his father gives a speech. Conspiracy or coincidence? We unpack the timeline of events in June 2016. Plus: A group of international scientists plans to send messages into space to see if we’re alone. But what if we’re not? Guests: Peter Baker, our chief White House correspondent; Douglas Vakoch, the leader of a new group that will beam messages into space; Steven Johnson, who wrote about Mr. Vakoch’s efforts for The New York Times Magazine. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uFcX9q. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Heinä 201722min

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Thursday, July 13, 2017

It was the secret force behind stories about John Edwards’s $400 haircut and Mitt Romney’s decision to put the family dog on the roof of his car. Donald Trump Jr. says it motivated him to meet with a Russian lawyer. We discuss the dark art of opposition research. Guests: Jonathan Martin, a national political correspondent for The Times; Ben LaBolt, the national press secretary for President Barack Obama’s re-election campaign. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2vF4L6w. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Heinä 201715min

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

The Times obtains Donald Trump Jr.’s emails about an offer of help from the Russian government. “I love it,” he wrote. The story behind the story, and what we mean when we talk about “collusion.” And the scene from the Iraqi city of Mosul: What Islamic State militants left behind. Guests: Matt Apuzzo, one of the reporters who broke the story about Donald Trump Jr.’s emails; Rukmini Callimachi, who covers the Islamic State, and Andy Mills, a producer with her in Mosul. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2sPxzbb. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Heinä 201723min

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

A music producer. A lawyer from Moscow. The Miss Universe pageant. And now: the promise of help from the Russian government. We connect the dots on Donald Trump Jr.’s communications last summer. And what happens when thousands of rebel fighters try to re-enter society as civilians? Guests: Mark Mazzetti, our Washington investigations editor; Nicholas Casey, a correspondent based in South America. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uddQ9d. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Heinä 201722min

Monday, July 10, 2017

Monday, July 10, 2017

What we know about a newly revealed meeting between Donald Trump Jr. and a Russian lawyer. Plus, the view from the ground in the Iraqi city of Mosul. Guests: Adam Goldman, one of the reporters behind the revelations about the meeting at Trump Tower in June 2016; Rukmini Callimachi, who is in Mosul reporting on the fall of the Islamic State militant group there. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2uHO4r6. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Heinä 201719min

Friday, July 7, 2017

Friday, July 7, 2017

Donald J. Trump’s life and career have been defined by his legal battles. But what will they mean for his presidency? Guest: Jonathan Mahler, staff writer for The New York Times Magazine; Jay Goldberg, Mr. Trump’s exclusive litigator from 1990 to 2005. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2tHoXq1. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Heinä 201721min

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