The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Huhti 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Can the Cease-Fire in Gaza Hold?

Can the Cease-Fire in Gaza Hold?

Today, as the cease-fire between Israel and Hamas enters its most fragile phase, no one knows who will control the future of Gaza.Patrick Kingsley, the Jerusalem bureau chief for The New York Times, talks through this delicate moment — as the first part of the deal nears its end — and the questions that hover over it.Guest: Patrick Kingsley, the Jerusalem bureau chief for The New York Times.Background reading: Gaza’s truce could end in days, with no extension agreed. What happens next?Alarmed by President Trump’s Gaza plan, Arab leaders brainstormed about one of their own.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Saher Alghorra for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

26 Helmi 29min

She Fell in Love With ChatGPT. Like, Actual Love. With Sex.

She Fell in Love With ChatGPT. Like, Actual Love. With Sex.

Warning: This episode discusses sexual themes.Artificial intelligence has changed how millions of people write emails, conduct research and seek advice.Kashmir Hill, who covers technology and privacy, tells the story of a woman whose relationship with a chatbot when much further than that.Guest: Kashmir Hill, a features writer on the business desk at The New York Times, covering technology and privacy.Background reading: She is in love with ChatGPT.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Helen Orr for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

25 Helmi 32min

Exporting America’s Immigration Problem

Exporting America’s Immigration Problem

Warning: This episode contains mentions of suicide.Since President Trump took office, his plan to deport millions of undocumented people has kept running into barriers. That has forced the White House to come up with ever more creative, and controversial, tactics.The Times journalists Julie Turkewitz and Hamed Aleaziz explain why some migrants are being held in a hotel in Panama.Guest: Julie Turkewitz, the Andes bureau chief for The New York Times, based in Bogotá, Colombia. Her recent work has focused on migration.Hamed Aleaziz, who covers the Department of Homeland Security and immigration policy in the United States for The New York Times.Background reading: As President Trump “exports” deportees, hundreds have been trapped in a hotel in Panama.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Federico Rios for The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

24 Helmi 25min

The Sunday Read: ‘What Happened When America Emptied Its Youth Prisons’

The Sunday Read: ‘What Happened When America Emptied Its Youth Prisons’

When David Muhammad was 15, his mother moved from Oakland, Calif., to Philadelphia with her boyfriend, leaving Muhammad in the care of his brothers, ages 20 and 21, both of whom were involved in the drug scene. Over the next two years, Muhammad was arrested three times — for selling drugs, attempted murder and illegal gun possession.For Muhammad, life turned around. He wound up graduating from Howard University, running a nonprofit in Oakland called the Mentoring Center and serving in the leadership of the District of Columbia’s Department of Youth Rehabilitation Services. Then he returned to Oakland for a two-year stint as chief probation officer for Alameda County, in the same system that once supervised him.Muhammad’s unlikely elevation came during a remarkable, if largely overlooked, era in the history of America’s juvenile justice system. Between 2000 and 2020, the number of young people incarcerated in the United States declined by an astonishing 77 percent. Can that progress be sustained — or is America about to reverse course and embark on another juvenile incarceration binge? Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

23 Helmi 44min

'The Interview': Ed Yong Wants to Show You the Hidden Reality of the World

'The Interview': Ed Yong Wants to Show You the Hidden Reality of the World

The Pulitzer Prize-winning science writer talks about burnout from covering the pandemic and how bird-watching gave him a new sense of hope. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Helmi 40min

Trump 2.0: Rewriting Histories

Trump 2.0: Rewriting Histories

This week, President Trump falsely claimed that Ukraine started the war against Russia, ordered federal agencies created by Congress to answer directly to him and installed himself as the leader of Washington’s premiere cultural institution.The Times journalists Michael Barbaro, Zolan Kanno-Youngs, Charlie Savage and Elisabeth Bumiller sit down to make sense of it all.Guest: Zolan Kanno-Youngs, a White House correspondent for The New York Times,Charlie Savage, who writes about national security and legal policy for The New York Times.Elisabeth Bumiller, a writer-at-large for The New York Times.Background reading: Trump flipped the script on the war in Ukraine, blaming Volodymyr Zelensky, not Vladimir V. Putin.The president’s moves to upend federal bureaucracy touch off fear and confusion.Trump said he would install himself as the new Kennedy Center chairman.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: The New York Times Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Helmi 31min

The Sordid Saga of President Trump and Mayor Adams

The Sordid Saga of President Trump and Mayor Adams

The sweeping federal corruption charges against Mayor Eric Adams seemed to spell the end of his career. Then he got a sudden reprieve from President Trump — but as the terms of that support became public, an extraordinary blowback ensued.Nicholas Fandos, who covers New York politics and government for The Times, walks us through the saga.Guest: Nicholas Fandos, a reporter covering New York politics and government for The New York Times.Background reading: Here are the charges against Mayor Adams.The mayor may avoid a criminal trial. He still faces political peril.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Seth Wenig/Associated Press Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Helmi 26min

Inside the Trump Purge: Federal Workers Tell Their Stories

Inside the Trump Purge: Federal Workers Tell Their Stories

On the campaign trail, Donald J. Trump and his allies left little doubt that, if they returned to power, federal workers would face layoffs, buyouts and agency closures.Now that President Trump’s plan has become a reality, dozens of federal workers explain what it’s been like to live through it.Background reading: Here’s where Mr. Trump, Elon Musk and DOGE have cut federal workers so far.Stunned government workers are facing sleeplessness, anger and tears.For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday. Photo: Mandel Ngan/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

19 Helmi 27min

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