199. Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce: What Every Divorcing Person Needs to Know, with Renee Turner

When people think about divorce, they often assume they can just "choose" an uncontested process. But what most people don't realize is that uncontested divorce requires more than goodwill — it requires preparation, financial transparency, and a clear understanding of your legal rights. Without that foundation, the most well-intentioned divorces can quickly become expensive, adversarial, and emotionally devastating. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan are joined by Renee Turner, family and matrimonial attorney and founder of Thoughtful Lawyering in New York. Renee draws on more than 13 years of legal experience to walk listeners through what uncontested and contested divorce actually mean — not just in theory, but in practice. From financial disclosure requirements and New York's maintenance cap to prenuptial agreements and co-parenting dynamics, this conversation covers the legal landscape that every divorcing person needs to understand. Catherine brings in the financial preparation angle, explaining how the MDS Financial Portrait gives clients the verified financial clarity they need to confidently enter — or switch out of — an uncontested process. Together with Renee, Karen and Catherine reinforce one of the most empowering messages in divorce: you are the employer. Your legal and financial professionals work for you. In This Episode The legal definition of uncontested vs. contested divorce in New York Why the court system's scheduling creates delays — and how the uncontested process avoids them What a marital settlement agreement is and when it's negotiated New York's maintenance cap and how lifestyle analysis can change the final number Financial disclosure in uncontested divorce: what is required, what can be waived, and what you're risking by waiving it The myth of "I know what we have" — why most clients discover gaps once the process starts How to switch from uncontested to contested (and back) — and when it makes sense Why you should never sign any document without fully understanding it How the uncontested process protects children from courtroom involvement What it means to be the employer of your attorney — and why asking questions is your right Key Takeaways Uncontested divorce requires agreement on all major issues: property, custody, support, and maintenance — without a judge deciding for you. You can always switch from uncontested to contested if you feel your rights are not protected. Don't let fear of "starting over" trap you. Financial preparation — verified, document-supported clarity about what you have — is what makes uncontested divorce truly safe and successful. New York's maintenance cap is not the final word. Lifestyle analysis and standard of living can support amounts above the cap. Never waive financial disclosure without knowing exactly what you're giving up — and having documentation to support that decision. You are the employer of every professional you hire during your divorce. Question everything. Ask for clarity. Take the time you need. Download The Uncontested Divorce Readiness Checklist A step-by-step guide to knowing whether you’re financially and legally ready to pursue an uncontested process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices